Often it can be easy to become the things that those around us want us to be. With peer pressure, the pressure from modern culture to dress a certain way or act a certain way and the expectations of our parents all add to who we think we should be. However, this is not always who we actually are. If the version of ourselves that we present to the world is different from how we are in our own head, or in private, then something is wrong.
The problem is that if we live to other people’s expectations then we are never going to feel fulfilled, because all that we do will be for the benefit of others. To live life as your authentic self takes courage, because you will be judged by someone, maybe many, in your life. But if you do it, if you live as you with conviction then my friends you can become your best selves. Your achievements will then feel worth it.
When the way you live your life is aligned with your values and beliefs then your heart will feel full, contentment will permeate your thoughts and your levels of stress will be reduced. The thing to do is to get to know yourself, deeply.
Your Values
Your values are simply the things in life that you value. I know obvious right? What I mean is the things that you have strong feelings about. The things that stand out as important to you. Is it your family, your friends, is it justice or charity? Is it creativity or making money? None of these are good or bad, but they get to the essence of who you are.
I value creativity, stewardship, kindness and leadership very highly. I value my family highly too. I also value equality and respect for others. Figuring out what values are important to you will fill in part of the picture of who you authentically are.
Your Beliefs
Beliefs are about how you think the world works and how you think people should behave. Beliefs include religious ideas as well as human ideas. It might be that God’s grace is real. It might be that karma is real. It might be that we should try to lift other up and not put them down. It might be that the winner takes it all and the loser dismissed.
There is a morality to figuring out our beliefs. They define what is right and wrong in your eyes. Figuring out what you believe about all sorts of things is really important. To question the beliefs that are given to you by others and decide if you too believe them, deep down in your heart, is very important too. We are all individuals and living life by someone else’s beliefs can be detrimental to us.
What Is Your Vocation
We all have jobs, generally speaking, but they are often not things that we have chosen because we deeply believe in the work we are doing. Often the job we have is simply a way of exchanging our time and energy for money to live on. If the work is in contrast to our values or beliefs then this can be a stressful situation. Some places of work are also focused on how much productivity they can squeeze out of us rather than helping us to reach our full potential.
Some of you will have things that you do outside of work, things that you have chosen to do. Things that you are passionate about. Things you are literally doing for free, because you love it. One thing I do is preaching in a Unitarian church. You might be a Scout leader, a volunteer in a charity shop, a volunteer in a food bank, a writer or a blogger. These are signs of the things that you could flourish at if you were doing it as you actual job. Your vocation can become your job if you have the courage to take a chance and go for it.
All of this is about figuring out who you are, how you work, what you deeply care about and living your best life, because you know your self. This is life’s mission, a personal journey such as this avoids a life that will feel wasted at it’s end, because you will be living on your terms, in your way, and not living your life through the expectations and peer pressure of others.
Go forth and discover your wonderful self and live according to your values and beliefs. Be courageous and live true to who you are.
The Fullfilment Project 