Category: Achieving Goals

Give Yourself Permission

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

For a long time I have struggled with achieving the same levels of success as my peers. I have questioned whether there is something wrong with me or if everyone else is just better than me and then I had a revelation. I had this revelation a few weeks ago, but it felt like just a theory and, consequently, I did not apply it to my life straight away. The revelation was that I can give myself permission to thrive.

This might sound silly or somewhat obvious, but I have grown up with others doing things for me a lot of the time. My parents took such good care of me I barely had to struggle or strive for anything. I benefited from the privilege of being white and middle class too. All this meant that when I hit the real world I subconsciously expected things to carry on as easily as they have always done, but they didn’t. Consequently, I felt average and mediocre.

What I needed to do was give myself permission to take ownership of my life, my health and my work. When I have been in leadership positions I have worked well in these roles and been a decent servant leader, but when I thought about describing myself in this way it felt disingenuous. The core of my realisation is that when others asked me to step into these roles I thrived and rather than waiting for others to give me permission, I can simply give myself permission.

This became empowering, where before I felt rather disempowered. Weirdly, for the first time I felt like I could take ownership of my life, fully and wholeheartedly, and you can too. Give yourself permission; own your life and you can thrive.

Purpose Vs Mindfulness

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

To have a purpose is to have a goal to work towards. It is essentially something we ‘do’. To be mindful it is less about ‘doing’ and more about ‘being’. In a sense ‘doing’ is a more Western approach to life and ‘being’ is a more Eastern approach to life. Depending on where your cultural reference points are you might feel that these are polar opposites.

In fact they are intertwined. You cannot ‘do’ well unless you are present in the moment and you cannot ‘be’ in the moment without a purpose for doing so. They feed each other like Yin and Yang. To separate them would end up causing confusion and frustration and you would not be able to ‘do’ or ‘be’ particularly well.

To be purposeful mindfully or be mindful on purpose are not easy things to do, but once we recognise the interconnected nature of the two elements we can work towards it.

Program Yourself To Thrive

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I was in a taxi on the way to work the other day and while we were stopped at the traffic lights I saw a little blue flower growing out of a crack in the tarmac path. It had no business being there but there it was anyway doing its best to survive and thrive. It got me thinking about the way nature strives to live and grow all of the time, as if it is programmed to thrive anywhere it finds itself.

Often we talk about needing the right resources or the right conditions before trying something new. We overthink new ventures and often talk ourselves out of them. If we were to take examples from nature and aim to thrive no matter the conditions, then we would do well in life. We would take every opportunity with both hands and just get on with it.

Thriving is not about the conditions we have but the mindset that we have. To be excited about a new challenge and to have the courage to give it a go and see what happens, while also applying our skills and common sense to bend our path towards success. We can program ourselves to thrive by the thoughts we have and how we explain both and bad situations to ourselves.

Be like the little blue flower.

How To Be Productive

Achieving Goals, Success

Productivity is something I have struggled with in my professional life. Having Fibromyalgia means that you have less energy resources to hustle throughout the day. So I’ve tried to work smarter not harder and have started to find some traction. There are two key lessons that I have learned which I would like to share with you today.

Lesson 1: Just do it

I am a great planner and not a great doer. I spend time planning to do the work later and end up with too much to do and not enough time. I am learning to do tasks as they arrive without planning when to do them in the future. This gives me room to plan other tasks that have deadlines and defined start times, like calling a customer when they are available. Plan what needs to be planned and get the other things done as soon as they arrive.

Lesson 2: Ship it!

This lesson comes from the great Seth Godin. His advice is to not spend time wondering if the work is good enough or if it should be sent off, or ‘shipped’, but instead to ‘ship it’ as soon as it is completed and move onto the next thing. The thing to do is not to be too attached to the outcome. You do the work to the best of your ability and send it off, submit it or share it. This frees up head space and time to do more of your work.

Overcoming Inner Battles

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I’ve been listening to the audiobook of The War of Art by Steven Pressfield on YouTube this week and it cuts deep into all the excuses and rationalisations that we come up with to avoid doing the new ventures or starting anything that will likely be good for us, but would also require change. It brings you face to face with what he calls the Resistance. This is the force that talks you out of beginning anything new. It is the writer’s block and the procrastination monster.

To do battle with the Resistance and do that which our brains try to talk us out of is a courageous act. To fight back and do the thing you are scared to do is to live a life of bravery. It reminds me of a quote from Teddy Roosevelt often quoted by Brene Brown and this is how I want to try and live my life.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

My New Life Manifesto

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

For a while now I’ve been dancing around ideas on self improvement and how to live well and not being fully committed or being the best version of myself. I think this is partly because fully owning my life feels like a big responsibility and can seem scary at times. It’s easier to stick with habits and go on autopilot through life. The trouble with that is that you can end up unhealthy, unhappy and underwhelmed by life. At 41 I felt it was time I really tried to cut the bullshit and take ownership of my life and my health.

I have Fibromyalgia, which can be a debilitating condition leaving me exhausted and in pain in my muscles and joints most of the time. Having the will and the energy to do anything can be a challenge. But knowing how to improve my fibro symptoms and not doing it is something I’m not prepared to do anymore. So, I have written a kind of life manifesto. I’ve tried writing this kind of thing before, but they have either been unhelpful or I just haven’t committed to them. As they say, I hope this time it will be different.

So, here it is. I am a very visual person so I have gone all graphic designy to make it appealing and accessible for me. I’ve used the word ‘better’ to express doing each thing in a wiser, more effective way than I have in the past. I’ve started at the top with my Why, my Purpose; to THRIVE SO THAT OTHERS MAY THRIVE.

MIND

I know that one’s attitude in any given situation is a choice, as expressed by Viktor E. Frankl in his great book Man’s Search For Meaning, and one’s attitude shapes everything we experience. Mindset has a similar impact and a growth mindset is better than a fixed mindset, the choice of mindset is for each of us to make. However, we also need actions, not just intentions. It is important to have good habits, things we do daily to improve our lives and the lives of others.

BODY

One of the things I have learned about physical illness is that diet plays a big role in causing and worsening any illness. This is a change that I have struggled to make, as I keep bouncing back to what I habitually eat. If I am going to be able to live my life and serve people, I need to make this change. Physical strength is something that many of us wish for, to be strong and look good. Having Fibromyalgia my muscles often feel weak and I am sometimes not able to do tasks which others may find easy. This is something I aim to change. Some of you may have a good understanding of what Chi is, others may have only heard it in reference to Tai Chi. Chi is the life energy that flows through all living things, in accordance with Traditional Chinese Medicine, and for us to be healthy we need our Chi to flow well, we need to have an abundance of it and for it to be balanced around the body. Better Chi means better flow, quantity and balance. Without this we get sick.

SPIRIT

I am a student of theology, not in the sense of getting a qualification, but in the sense of spending my time reading about and understanding the theology of different religions around the world. Three key themes that stand out to me that will help me fulfil my Purpose and live a good life are Connection, Wisdom and Altruism. The first includes connection to others and to the universe as a whole, and everything in between. If we are wise we will live well, this is a given, and to be altruistic means to lift others up, to help them to thrive.

I hope that this Life Manifesto helps me to thrive in order to help others to thrive too. I also hope that you find this inspirational and you write your own Life Manifesto, or feel free to steal mine. I wish for you a blessed and happy life my friend.

Changing Your Habits

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

We often feel that making a change in our lives, whether it be a change in diet, to exercise more or working on our craft, the change often seems too big so we don’t do it, or we start and don’t continue. I have procrastinated so many times when it comes to making beneficial changes but I’m trying a new strategy, to make micro changes in my habits.

When a plane sets off to fly long distance a small change in direction can become a big change in where the plane ends up. Micro changes in habits work the same way. The trick is to make a small change, so it doesn’t seem so scary, and be consistent with it, so it becomes the new normal.

I’ve had a lot to deal with personally over the past few months and I have not been posting on this blog. I’ve also been procrastinating and prioritising other things. I’ve decided to make a small change and commit to posting once a week on a Monday morning. A small change with a big difference, as blogging helps me as much as it helps my readers.

I’m also cutting down on the amount of caffeine I intake each day. I’m limiting it to one cup of tea a day. I usually have two or three when I am at work. A small change hopefully with a positive outcome, as caffeine makes the pain from my fibromyalgia worse. You can make small changes too, the result of which can be very beneficial, even life changing, depending on the change you make.

Look for a small change that you can make and give it a try, consistently. You might surprise yourself at how successful you are.

Setting Goals For 2023

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

It is that time of year again when we make New Year Resolutions with an underlying suspicion that we may not keep them going beyond January, but we convince ourselves that this year it will be different. This may be a conical view, but it is often our experience.

Part of the problem is that we set general goals like losing weight, which we are not necessarily invested in and there is no specific purpose behind them. Another part of the problem is that we want a quick fix to fix our lives, something easy and quick to do that will solve all of our problems. This will never work, because there are no quick fixes. The issue is that we do not want to commit our time to improve our lives. We want something we can do for 5 minutes a day or something quick at the weekend.

In order to improve your life you must fix your life. This must be a long term commitment. For example, I have lower back pain for which I have been to see a physio. Their advice was to complete daily exercises to strengthen my core muscles, which would alleviate my back pain. I did it for a week every morning and my back pain began to improve. I then missed a couple of days and my back got bad again. So, if I want a pain free back I need to complete these core strengthening exercises every day for the long term, with no missed days. It is the same for all areas of our lives that we want to improve.

This is how life works. We need to stop making New Year Resolutions and start making life commitments. These commitments should be decided and reviewed after a long period, say every 3 to 6 months. Then adjust or pivot where needed. This is so we consciously understand that this is a life change and that we are committed to it.

In order to have a life we are happy in we need to invest in a life that creates wellbeing and joy. This takes daily commitment. We also need a purpose for the life changes we make otherwise the changes will be as effective as trying to lose weight for no serious reason. With purpose and commitment your life will change for the better.

Self Development: Weekly Check-ins

Achieving Goals, Health, Success

It is around this time of year that we start to think about making New Years resolutions that we often don’t keep up. We have good intentions of making life changes, but a lack of consistency let’s us down. I have started something that is keeping my improvement at work consultant. It’s is taken from the Agile project management framework called Scrum.

When working on a project you would have a period of work called a Sprint, usually a week or two, and at the end you would have a Retrospective where you discuss what went well and what you didn’t get done. I’ve been setting specific goals to improve how I work and then doing weekly Retrospectives and asking myself; What went well? What could have gone better? What are the goals for the next week?

The goals are usually linked to what could have gone better with new knowledge from what went well and they morph each week as a modify my actions until something works and then I stick to it. It is a simple exercise that takes ten minutes at the end of the week and five minutes to review as a reminder at the start of the next week. Try it and let me know in the comments how it goes.

Life On Sale

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

Much like Black Friday, we spend spend spend in the Boxing Day sales. We often buy things we don’t need just because it has 50% off, or some such discount, but we don’t often stop to think if we need what we are buying at a discounted rate. Are we buying because it’s on sale or because we actually want or need it?

We often do the same if something is free. We may be on a strict no sugar diet but if a company is giving away free cans of their sugar-laced drink we grab two of them. This is usually put down to a lack of will power, which is true, but there is a lot of manipulation from companies who want to sell you things as well. It will help if you live by principles that lead to a healthier and happier life, and to developing a high motivation to stick to these principles. Then, sale or no sale you will live well.

How To Develop Confidence

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Relationships, Success

On the way into work yesterday it was quite misty, but it wasn’t thick enough to be fog. It reminded me of something I heard about how driving in fog is a metaphor for life. Often, when moving forward with a new venture, a new relationship, or anything that takes us out of our comfort zone, we are scared because we don’t know what the future holds. This is like driving in fog when you can only see 10 feet in front of you. The way to get clarity on what is ahead of you is to move forward 10 feet and then you can see the next 10 feet.

The lesson here is that we will never be able to predict the future 100%, but this should not stop us from moving forward. The best strategy is to work on your skillset and learn from your experiences. With skills and experience you can make wiser decisions and you can pivot where needed, depending on what life throws at you. If you trust your car brakes, steering, lights etc, then driving in fog is less stressful because your car and you can handle whatever you come across.

In order to improve your skillset and experience, you have to put in the time to try things out and develop skills. However, confidence also comes from our mindset, we have to believe in ourselves and our abilities or the actions we take will largely be ineffective. This mindset has to be a growth mindset, the ability to be agile and flexible requires it. Having a fixed mindset will cause your confidence to crumble when you hit the realities of life.

So, confidence requires skillset, mindset and experience. A seemingly obvious statement, but we often think of confidence as something we are born with. In reality confidence comes from how we behave on a moment to moment basis.

The final piece to the puzzle of confidence is our environment. If we feel safe enough to try and fail and try again, then our confidence goes up. If failure is treated with rejection, then we will develop a fixed mindset, we won’t believe we can do anything and we will not gain the required experience. This is why we need trusting teams at work, and supportive relationships in our lives. Add together all of these elements and you have the recipe for confidence.

The Power Of Now

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

The future is a fantasy and the past a memory, both of which only exist in the present mind. This is what many Eastern philosophies proclaim. This may jar against your religious or non-religious views, but there is something powerful about being present.

It is where we can be in the state of Flow, where we are more productive and more available for those we have relationships with. The power of the now, as it is often called, seems to me to be a truism; being present is powerful and transformational. It is also difficult to consistently be mindful of the present moment.

The tried and tested method to become more present is meditation, a habit I’ve been trying to bring into my morning routine and something I recommend, as do many others.

When you have chronic pain you have an interesting relationship with the present moment. Knowing that being present is beneficial and wanting to escape the pain creates a conflict that is only overcome, ironically, by being present and working through the difficult thoughts and feelings. Whether you suffer from chronic pain, as I do, or not, this process of trying to stay in the moment is part of the work of self mastery.

To tame and control your thoughts and to remain present is the mastery we can all strive for through practice. So sit your bum down and meditate, even if it is only for 5 minutes a day. Practice mindfulness and your life will be transformed. This is the power of the now.

Your Attitude Matters

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

Recently I have been struggling with inner ear problems, which causes Vertigo and Tinnitus in both ears. Not a fun combination to add to my Fibromyalgia, but the tougher the challenge the bigger the opportunity for growth. In the mornings I am trying to develop a routine that starts my day off with stretches and exercises, meditation and Chi Kung (Qigong), but I have struggled to be motivated, as many of my health problems seem to be a constant. It causes me to think “what’s the point?” Though there is also a positive voice in my head encouraging me onwards.

I was reminded when reading the book Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty that the act of completing a morning routine consistently is not just about the health benefits, of which there are many, it is also about your mind realising that you did what you said you were going to do, no matter how hard it is. I was also reminded of a quote from Viktor E. Frankl’s book Man’s Search For Meaning which has kept me positive when I’ve felt like staying in bed and not bothering with my day. I hope it helps you too. This is the quote.

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."

Choose your attitude and you choose your way in the world.

Finding Steady Ground

Achieving Goals, Happiness, The Pathway To Fulfilment

For a while now I’ve felt a little lost, in the sense that I didn’t feel like I was living up to the purpose I had found for myself and I was just coasting. It felt as if I had a purpose but no motivation to work towards it. Having Fibromyalgia I feel exhausted most of the time, so taking the time to work on my purpose is hard. Though I do need some sort of steady ground to keep me centred and from which to build.

I have a Buddhist faith, although I would also class myself as Unitarian, and I haven’t meditated or prayed at my shrine for a long time and watching this interview with Shia LeBeouf shifted something in me. He is someone who has hurt people and this recently spilled out into the public eye, which brought him to rock bottom. However, he found a way forward through a Catholic faith, as well as doing the work with other groups to get sober and make amends for the hurt he caused to others.

I guess seeing his transformation through faith I have realised the importance a daily religious practice has on giving you structure and a steady ground on which to move through the world. It has to be a daily practice though. My approach of prayer on an ad hoc basis has not worked. This is part of the work of finding fulfilment, to have daily practices that nourish the soul and clear the mind. I will try again.

Teams Need A Purpose

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Success

In any organisation every team needs a Purpose. Often a company will have an overarching Purpose and/or Values, but if this is either not articulated well or made relevant to every team within the company, then productivity can drop off, as can retention of staff.

Everyone needs a reason to go to work, other than just to pay the bills. If our job gives meaning and purpose to our lives then we will be happier and will work harder for the company we work for. The assumption that staff will only work for a paycheck is a shortsighted view that many leaders have.

So, if you are a leader within your organisation, review how effective your company’s Purpose, Values or Principles are and work to ensure every member of staff feels that they are contributing towards them. This will increase levels of fulfilment and productivity, and will make them want to stay.

Serving Others Better

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Relationships, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

One of the principles I try to live by is ‘own your journey’ and another is ‘serve others,’ and to me these are very much linked. If we have our own issues with our health, relationships, work, etc that we leave unresolved, because we don’t want to deal with them, we are not in a good position to serve others. Therefore, in order to serve others well we need to make sure we are in a good place.

The way we make sure we are in a good place is to take ownership of our problems and find solutions for them. Anyone who has reached advanced stages of a spiritual practice will be effective in serving others, because they have put in the work of resoling their problems. Whether you are spiritual or not, you still have to do the work.

Imagine having such peace of mind and clarity that you help to solve the problems of others effectively. If more people took ownership of their lives the world would be a better place. Let’s do the work and make it better together.

Using Your Energy Effectively

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

In Physics it is known that energy can change state, but it cannot be destroyed. When a ball is held in the air it has gravitational potential energy. Once this ball is dropped this energy becomes kinetic energy as it moves towards the ground. When it hits the floor some of this energy is lost as sound energy and heat energy. The ball then squashes and the remaining kinetic energy becomes elastic potential energy before bouncing back up with kinetic energy.

This is not a science lesson, don’t worry. I give this example to point out how energy moves through the universe and the world, it changes state. This illustrates how we can view our own energy. When we invest energy into a particular activity sometimes the activity is not fruitful and we feel like we have hit a dead end. If we do nothing after this and move onto something else the energy spent doing the activity is lost.

But if we were to pivot and used what we have learned and the experience we have had to move in a different direct the momentum we have built up moves us forward and we are more likely to succeed. The building up of momentum matters. A train going at speed can break through a brick wall, but a train standing still cannot move if you put a one inch block in front of its drive wheel.

Failures often cause us to stop, but they are really opportunities to pivot and move in a different direction. With this mindset our lives will flow more than stop and start and we will be more successful and happier as a result.

When They Go Low You Go High

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

This title comes from a saying that Past President Barack Obama and his Wife Michelle often said. It came across as a family motto, which is a very positive way to think about things. It essentially says that when others resort to lies, insults and immoral tactics to bring you down and make themselves look good you take the moral high ground.

However, going high, which is essentially acting like a good human being, is something that I would say should not be limited to scenarios where others have gone low. Being a good human being is always a good way to live. We can never be a good human being all day every day, as we have challenging times that cause us to waiver, but the intention is what matters. Think good and be good is my advice.

Do The Work

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I was watching an interview with Jay Shetty on Impact Theory and he said something that resonated with me. It was something that is really obvious, but my brain omitted the logic of what was said to avoid the risk of making a change in my mindset. We often fear change more than staying the way we are.

Jay was talking about his book Think Like A Monk, which he wrote after living for some time in an ashram as a monk. When he left the life of a monk he spent seven years testing what he had learnt in the real world before then writing the book. The logic that struck me was that he put in the work of learning how to think well while training as a monk and spent seven years testing this out.

Essentially, the obvious truth is that in order to gain self mastery you have to put in the work of mastering your mind. I am some way down the path of self mastery, but I am far from mastering myself, and the journey does not have an end point, it is a life long pursuit. Step one is, as always, admitting that there is a problem and that action is required, but you have to do the work. Progress is not automatic.

Look For Opportunities

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Sometimes life can seem overwhelming and we unconsciously start thinking about things in terms of the worst case scenario. We say things like “I’ll never get it done” or “Its never going to work.” This type of thinking will reduce the chances of things going well and it may even become a self fulfilling prophecy.

We often tell ourselves that we are just being realistic, but we are actually being negative. We are more likely to succeed if we have a positive mindset that looks for ways around problems. If you think of water, it is fluid and flexible. It goes around and under obstacles. Yet water can wear away rock. Many rivers are there because water carved a path through the landscape while taking the path of least resistance.

We don’t have to fight to the last or keep doing the same thing because we have invested time into one approach. Life works best if you use creativity and humility to problem solve your way through it. And problem solving assumes that there is a solution. Change your mindset and you open up lots of new possibilities. Life is a series of opportunities, but you have to be looking for them to find them

What Principles Do You Live By?

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

To many in the western secular world the idea of living by principles will seem somewhat alien. However, many cultures of the past, and, to a degree, the present, have principles or values that are seen as important to live by.

Many of the most successful people have principles that they use to guide their decision making and how the spend their time. For example, someone who values integrity will likely stick to their word, do what they say they are going to do and make sure they are consistent on their positive habits.

As strange this concept might be for you, I recommend looking at principles in two ways. Firstly, review what you care about, what you value. Secondly, review your goals and what you want out of life. Then see where there is a cross over. For example, you might value good health and you want to achieve more at work. If you build in habits that optimise your health you will likely have more energy to put into your work. Your Principle to live by might be ‘healthy habits are productive habits.’

Try out a few principles and see what fits. You do have to commit to loving by your new principles for a while before disregarding them as a bad fit or unhelpful. Sincerely try each new habit for a month and see what happens.

Progress Is A Journey

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Each year we have four season, Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Life moves in cycles in many ways in our lives and sometimes our progress feels like Summer and sometimes it feels like Winter. However, this is not the end of the story, as Spring follows Winter and on it goes.

When we make progress in anything it will stop and start, it will take sharp left turns and the terrain will changes as you go. Progress is far from a linear step by step process. Life ensures that we have both challenges and rewards.

For a long time I saw progress as a linear process of climbing a metaphorical mountain, but real progress has metaphorical valleys and desserts, forests and oceans. I realise now a wiser way to think about progress is as a journey. It is the destination that should be our focus and we will figure out the route. As Friedrich Nietzsche once said “One who has a ‘why’ to live for can endure almost any ‘how’.”

Don’t Rely On Habits

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

As adults a large percentage of our thoughts and actions each day are automatic. They are habits programmed in and controlled by our subconscious, so we can use our conscious mind for any unique situations that appear in our lives.

These programmed habits are useful for survival, but they often don’t serve us in the modern world, depending on our habits. The habits we develop are often a combination of things to make life easier, influences from advertising and the media and experiences we had as children. If we do not take control of our habits they will run our lives haphazardly and we will rarely feel fulfilled.

We need to live more mindfully, more consciously. To choose what we do in each moment, and when a programmed habits pops up we can analyse it and see if it is serving us. If it is not, then we can replace it with a better habit, thought or intention. Mastering our habits will help us master our minds.

Humility In Action

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

There is a story about a samurai and a wise man that goes something like this. A samurai once stopped a village elder on the roadside and asked him to define heaven and hell. The wise man responded by saying, “you are too stupid to understand something like that.” The samurai flew into a rage, took out their sword and raised it above their head to bring down onto the wise man. The wise man then said calmly “that is hell.” The samurai stopped, lowered his sword and reflected on the wise man’s words. The wise man then said, “and that is heaven.” The samurai bowed in respect and continued with their journey.

It is said that for a samurai to use their sword they must make the decision to use it before they take it out, as they must draw blood once it has been taken out. The decision, therefore, is not changed once decided. I would like to argue that we should be humble enough to change our decision once it has been made, when there is new information that requires a better course of action. This takes humility, which is a skill we all need to practice. Sometimes someone wiser than us will show us a better way and we should listen, acknowledge them and act in accordance with this new found wisdom.

Serve Others

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

One of my driver’s in life is to serve others. Not because it sounds good or that I intend to benefit from it, it is because serving others is something my parents modelled for me and it is now part of who I am.

I also feel that if we all spent some of our time serving others then the self interest, which is so pervasive in modern culture, will be reduced and society as a whole will be better off. It is also the right thing to do.

Service towards others makes us humble and helps us appreciate the help that others give to us. Also, we cannot be effective in life without working with other people. We need mentors and colleagues, friends and family, leaders to follow and those who we lead.

If we all look after the person the right of us and to the left of us we can do amazing things. There is a saying I have heard, but I am unsure on its origins.

If you want to go quickly go alone. If you want to go far go together.

The Key To Being Happy

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

We often get frustrated that things don’t go as we want them to. Sometimes it feels like the world is against us and nothing goes our way. Thinking about life in these terms is destructive towards our happiness.

If the world was always as you want it to be, then it would not be the way someone else wants it to be. There are billions of people in the world and each person has ups and downs in life. I am glad everything not how you want it to be, because your way is different to the way of so many others.

The key to happiness is not to try and control what happens in the world, or even to expect things to be how you want them to be. The key is to control how you respond to the events of life. Your mindset is the thing that impacts your level of happiness the most. How you explain the events in life to yourself matters.

Saying something bad always happens to you takes away any influence you have on the situation and you end up feeling helpless. It is better to say the bad things happened at a specific time, to limit its power and then decide what positive actions you are going to do next.

The Art Of Non-Action

Achieving Goals, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Often in Western culture to be strong is to be tough, rigid and immovable. In Chinese culture, there is a concept called Wu Wei. It means ‘The art of non-action,’ it is embracing flow instead of effort to achieve a result. Essentially, it means being flexible, like water and being present in the moment, in a state of flow.

In Wu Wei if you strive for something you miss the point. A goal can be achieved through effortless action, through being so engaged with the task at hand that time passes and the work is done. It is to do and not to try.

When you are doing something you enjoy time passes by almost unnoticed and you go where the activity takes you. You do the thing you are doing without concentrated effort. Applying this to the rest of tour life is Wu Wei.

How To Be More Successful

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success

In an interview I recently watched with Jay Shetty he gave some good advice on what to focus on when it comes to strengths and weaknesses.

A lot of advice generally says you should focus on your weaknesses, which is half right and half wrong, according to Jay Shetty. We should focus on both our strengths and our weaknesses, but the key is knowing which types of each to focus on.

The research shows that successful people focus on their strengths, as long as they are hard skills, things that are measurable. These are the bread and butter of success.

However, they are complimented by soft skills, things like social skills, working well with others, etc. Without these skills the hard skills won’t get you very far. So, working on any weaknesses with your soft skills too will ensure you achieve more success, because we cannot achieve success alone.

Finding Your Purpose

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I recently watched an interview with Jay Shetty where he talked about his formula for finding your Purpose. 

Your Passion
+
Your Strengths
+
Compassion
=
Your Purpose

This seems like a good balance of ideas in order to find Purpose. Your Purpose does have to include what you are passionate about, but if you focus on things that are not your strengths, then you won’t get very far. The inclusion of compassion ensures the Purpose you have is not a selfish one. We thrive more if we are focused on helping others, it is how we are wired.

Building Resilient Strength

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Relationships, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

When I think of resilience and strength I think of a tree. There are five aspects of a tree that are worth reflecting on in relation to resilient strength.

1. Flexibility

A tree will bend in the wind, which means it does not break. The flexibility to move with problems in order to overcome them means the approach you take to solve each problem can match the problem at hand. When you have a hammer every problem looks like a nail. When you have a tool box you can pick the tool that matches each problem.

2. Endurance

A tree pulls in its chlorophyll during the Autumn and Winter months to preserve its resources and giving it the ability to endure the cold and the Winter weather. A tree is securely rooted into the ground where its roots are intertwined with those of the surrounding trees. Part of its ability to endure is its connection to its community. We can more easily endure the hard times when we do so together.

3. Recycle The Negative

Every Autumn a tree loses its leaves, triggered by the drop in temperature and the incoming Winter months. The leaves land on the ground around the tree and rot into the soil, nourishing it and nourishing the tree. We can learn from every negative thing that happens to us. We can use it to build resilience and strength of character. We can only rise after a fall.

4. Having A Purpose

A tree produces fruit or nuts or seeds for the surrounding wildlife. It provides shelter from the hard weather and a home for insects and birds. It also produces the very air we breath. It’s very existence serves life, so does yours. The choice you have before you is; what specific purpose do you care about? The choice is yours.

5. Thrive

Every tree strives to be the best tree it can be. It is not self conscious or worried about what might happen, it simply aims to thrive. It takes what it needs from the ground, the air and the sun and becomes it’s best self. To be the best version of yourself that you can be should be the intention you bring to every day. Otherwise why are you here?