Category: Achieving Goals

Making A Better Tomorrow

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Relationships, Success

Life is a series of moments. Some are good and some are bad. This is pretty obvious. However, we often don’t think in this way about the time we spend and the experiences we have. Sometimes we think a bad situation is permanent and will always be like that. Sometimes we think a good situation will not last.

It is true that all thing shall pass. That is to say that everything is temporary and part of a process. When a bad thing happens we can’t wish it away or try to change what happened. What we do have power over, however, is what we choose to do about the situation we are in.

If we see where we are and what is happening as a process we can plan and set goals and work towards a better situation. If you don’t like you job or your relationship or your home life change it. Either work on making it better or make a change. A new job might be better than staying where you are. An honest conversation with your manager might improve your working environment. There are always things you can do to make this moment a step towards and better tomorrow.

Choosing Optimism

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

One of the most important decisions, as Einstein has been quoted as saying, is to decide if we live in a friendly or hostile universe. The key is that it is a decision. We all have a mindset, a perspective that influences how we see everything and this will either leave us feeling as if the world is acting against us or for us.

It might sometimes feel as if the world is against us, but we can choose how we respond to the situations we find ourselves in. During the Second World War some inmates of the Nazi concentration camps gave up, but some went around helping others and giving away their last piece of bread. This is an extreme example, but those who gave themselves a purpose in the most horrendous of circumstances survived.

Life rarely asks that much of us, but we nevertheless have a choice. So, their are two choices that I would like you to make. Firstly, decide that the universe is working for you, and to reflect on what that might be like. What evidence might there be that your life is a gift? Secondly, decide on a purpose, a reason for doing what you do. This could start off being a single act that you feel passionate about and take it from there.

If the universe is working for you, every day is a blessing and everything you do will be influenced by this optimism. Having a purpose means your day will have a drive and a focus and at the end of the day you will feel fulfilled by the way you lived your life on this day and on into the future.

Live Your Life Fully

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

When we spend our time thinking about the future and what might happen or the past and what has happened, we fail to be present in the moment. When we live this way we miss a lot of beautiful moments through focusing on our own anxieties and dreams.

It is good to have concern over certain things in life and to have aspirations, but much of our concerns will never come true and we will not reach our aspirations if we do nothing in the present to achieve them.

We also miss an opportunity to fully experience and understand the things that happen in our lives. In order to do this we need to be more present, to be mindful of what is happening moment to moment. As a great Buddhist once said, when you sit, sit, when you stand, stand, when you walk, walk. In other words, fully do the thing you are doing. Get out of your head and into the moment.

Getting Things Done

Achieving Goals, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Sometimes I have what they call fibro fog where it can be difficult to collect thoughts and think things through as easily as I normally would, which means ways that I might normally get things done don’t work. Essentially, relying on my memory falls down when the fibro fog appears.

This led me to thinking about how we each deal with things differently. Some of us are planners and need a bullet point plan before starting and some of us jump right in and figure it out along the way. There is no one right way of doing it because we each have different personalities and different challenges to face.

My advice would be to find a way that works for you by trying out different approaches to getting things done, both in your personal and professional lives. I intend to develop a fall back plan that relies on checklists and priorities that give me structure when the fibro fog appears.

I feel this approach suits me well overall as well, so I’ll give it a try and adjust as needed moving forward. I suggest you pick an approach and try it too. You can always adjust it or change it if it doesn’t work, but make sure you try it for a good few weeks before deciding if it works for you or not.

It Might Just Work

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Often we are just as scared that something we do will work as we are that it might fail. If it works we may need to do more of it and try more new things. It is scary to write your own script and not follow the rules set by those that have come before us.

Real value, however, is created when we go off script and do the right thing. Not because the rules said to do it, but because it made a difference. Do you want your gravestone to read he/she followed the rules or do you want it to say he/she made a difference?

If you aim to create value and make a difference, the method you end up using will come to you. You will find a way. It may be the route less travelled, but you will make a difference.

There Is Nobody Like You

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Relationships, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Others may do the same job as you, live in the same area as you or have the same life experience as you, to a degree, but they are not you. You are a unique happening. You are also an essential part of this thing called life. The world needs your unique perspective and contribution to make the world a better place.

If you think you are ordinary or even less than some level of importance then you are underestimating yourself. You can thrive given the right environment and right self belief. Sometimes we need to find the right environment first. This could be a place of work or a group of friends. It is easier to believe in ourselves if others believe in us first.

Believe In Yourself

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success

No one will give you the perfect answer as to what you should do in any situation, because they are judging it based on what they would do, and they are not you. We need to make a choice and go try it, whatever it is. If it doesn’t work and we fall on our faces, we have learned something.

The trick is to know that you will always pick yourself up and try again. A bird does not avoid landing on a tree branch because it is worried that the branch may break, if they did they would never land on a tree branch. A bird’s faith is not in the branch not breaking, it’s faith is in the ability of it’s own wings.

Break The Bias

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Relationships, Success

Today is International Women’s Day, which celebrates the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women. This is something that is needed to balance how women are seen in society. Many companies and organisations are equal, with women holding positions of CEO downwards, but not every company culture supports equality. This can also be said of society as a whole.

To me, equality is a sign of respect from one human being to another. We all have different skills and experience which allows us to thrive in some roles in both the workplace and outside of it, but not in others. Opportunities should be given without any assumptions being made about whether they will suit either a man or a women, and should be offered based on merit.

This brings us to the slogan of International Women’s Day, which is #breakthebias. In order for their to be true equality then the bias towards men being more capable needs to end. In order to love a fulfilling life we need to feel as if we are progressing, which means we need access to opportunities to progress. One thing you can do I to try and see past the stereotypes and judgements and see the other person as human first, the same as you. There is no bias if we are all seen as human beings.

When One Door Closes

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Success

In life there are ways and processes that we find helpful and that make life easier, and when they are taken away we feel angry and frustrated. We ask why and complain about how it is not like it used to be. However, what is hidden in these turns of event is that there are other ways of doing these things and other processes. Often they are more helpful and make life more meaningful.

We get stuck in ways of doing things that feel comfortable or familiar or ways that have been drummed into us as the ‘right’ way to do something. We rarely question these ways of doing things, as we go about our routine filled lives.

At work this past week I found it difficult to help a customer as a process I had become used to changed. I spent some time moaning to colleagues, who join in with my indignation, before asking my Manager what I could do. My Manager gave me an alternative that I had never thought of before, which was a better option all round and allowed me to help the customer. When one door closes look for an alternative door, it may be a better one.

Ask For Help

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

Often we get faced with problems at work and in our private lives that we struggle to solve. We may well try to figure it out ourselves and fumble through, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. Sometimes we will leave the problem untouched until it becomes a bigger problem that we cannot ignore.

The answer is to ask for help. A simple thing to say, but a difficult thing to do. However, there are people with different knowledge and experience that may well know how to solve your problem with minimal fuss. The hard part is asking.

We feel embarrassed, as if we should be the knower of all things, solver of all problems. Nobody is, we all guess and try things out and get it wrong, but this is how we learn. No one came out of the womb walking and talking, things take practice. We need help to do what we have never done before.

My advice is to surround yourself with people who will help you without judgement and also to avoid judging yourself, and stop assuming others are judging you, because most people are so caught up in their own lives that your problem is not even on their radar. To learn and grow we need to ask for help.

Building A Better World

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Relationships, Success

Today is Dr Suess Day and one of my favourite quotes from Dr Seuss books is “Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person. No matter how small.” ― Dr. Seuss, “Horton Hears a Who!” I love all of his books, but this is one of my favourites.

We all have our highs and lows in life, our advantages and disadvantages. We are all fighting battles that others can’t see, some big and some small. The message that this quote gives me is firstly, believing in ourselves is necessary for progress to happen, it is is also necessary for others to believe in us too. You could be the person that causes someone to believe in themselves, to become their best self. There is power in believing in others.

Secondly, everyone has equal validity and worth. Therefore, kindness and respect should be a given with all interactions. If someone acts in a way that belittles or hurts others they should be held to account for their actions, but we should still respect their humanity. Never fall for thinking of others as less than human. This opens the door to inhuman treatment of fellow human beings.

Believe in others and they will believe in themselves. Treat all with kindness and respect. This is how we build a better world.

Possibility Blindness

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Relationships, Success

We are largely defined by the environment we live in. The opportunities we have in most western countries are very different to those in third world countries. Our opportunities, or lack of them, will have a direct impact on how we see life.

We are also shaped by the people we spend our time with. Our parents have a significant effect on how we see ourselves and what we are capable of. We learn from a young age views of how easy or difficult it is to make money, how easy or difficult relationships are, and what our self worth is to us, etc.

When we let the views and beliefs of others become ours, we become blind to the possibilities available to us. To see an opportunity we must first think that it is possible. If you are living your life small, then it is likely that you have some limiting beliefs acquired from others. If that is the case, it is time to rewrite your beliefs and become an opportunity seeker. To believe in the possibilities life has to offer. Don’t let the views and beliefs of others give you possibility blindness. Open you eyes and begin to believe that you can, it is possible, but first you must believe that it is.

Living Well

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

We often think of a good life as a full life, where we focus on the content of our lives. We cherish wealth and possessions and how other people see us. We cherish successes and we avoid failures. This is a busy life not a life well lived.

An apple tree does not have such objectives, its only objective is to thrive. It exists only to be an apple tree, but its branches provide homes for birds and its shade protection from the sun for all that rest under it. Its apples feed people and animals. Its presence in the world benefits those around it.

The context within which the apple tree lives is more important than the content of its achievements. It is connected to all life around it. If we are to thrive we need to focus on the context of our lives not the content of it. We need to try and thrive, as all life does.

Reaching Your Potential

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

As human beings we often think that knowledge is one of the most important factors in life. Much is thought of degrees, the school we went to and being a knowledgeable person. However, every piece of knowledge is a conclusion that we decide is fixed.

This creates a mentality of I am right and others are wrong. It also limits our human potential, because each conclusion becomes a dead end. This leads to stagnation in life. If we were to think of pieces of knowledge as an impermanent understanding then we are always open to learning new things and to the knowledge of others, which might prove us wrong.

In order to reach other full potential we must be open to new experiences and new knowledge. Growth leads to fulfilment.

A State Of Flow

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

There is a concept you may have heard before, the concept of flow. The state you are in when everything you are doing is effortless and time disappears, because you are fully engaged and really enjoying what you are doing.

In Taoist thinking this is referred to as Wu Wei, the art of non-action. To our Western ears this sounds paradoxical, but it has finally sunk in in my head recently and I finally get it. Wu Wei is flow, it is effortless action, it is doing, not worrying or planning or speculating, it is the act of just doing.

Living life through Wu Wei is, as Bruce Lee had said, being like water. He said, “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it.” As with many Eastern things, this is an art more than a science.

My advice would be to try to do everything that you are doing with joy, and then this flow state will be more accessible. As Sadhguru has said, “Anything you do joyfully is always effortless.”

Don’t Always Set Goals

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

In life we need to set goals, progress is an essential aspect of living a fulfilling life. If we had no progress we would feel a sense of stagnation and a lack of motivation. Goals are important, but sometimes they are a reflection of who we think we should be. There are goals that we think we need to achieve in order to be a success, after which we will be happy.

Success does not automatically equal happiness. If the success is in something that does not align with our fundamental values, for example, then it can never really be happiness inducing. What we need to understand is what happiness and success look like for us, based on our values, beliefs and ethics.

Sometimes we also set goals in order to feel like we are working towards success, but in fact we are avoiding figuring out what we really want. Doing the work of figure out who we are and what we want out of life can seem too difficult, so we take someone else’s model of success, or the model that is currently seen as popular, and tell ourselves it is what we want. In a way it is a form of procrastination.

So, set goals, but do the hard work of figuring out what you really want out of life first.

Being Courageous

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

For some, acting with courage it is getting out of bed and leaving their bedroom. For some it is standing on a stage and giving a speech. For some it is challenging the abusive behaviour of a loved one. For some it is stepping into the unknown. For some it is failing and trying again.

With every act of courage there are three things present, a decision, vulnerability and fear. There are many other aspects to courage, but these three are less recognised, especially the last two. For many, when we think of courage we think of being fearless, but you cannot have courage without fear. It is simply not courage if you are not scared.

You are also vulnerable when you act with courage, because you are either stepping into the unknown or you are letting others see who you really are; both of which make you vulnerable. The decision to act with courage is usually made in alignment with a person’s values, beliefs or ethics, or some combination of these.

There has to be a reason why an act of courage is needed, something more important than playing it small and being safe. When we act with courage we are also usually helping others directly or giving others around us permission to be courageous.

A courageous life is a life well lived.

Generously Unlock Your Passion

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

I read this post by Seth Godin and the last line struck me and I made it the title of this blog post. Normally we talk about passion when someone is interested in a hobby or supporting a football team or something. Passion is also talked about when people start their own business or start writing a blog like this.

The point of generously unlocking your passion is that when we are generous with the capabilities we have, we often find things that we really enjoy doing. We also get the benefit of feeling good, because we have been generous.

A blog can also be good example of this, because you are using words to try and benefit someone else, who you will never meet. I suppose starting a YouTube channel could also be done in a similar way.

Success is often increased by the number of people you help. The more people you help the more opportunities and potential income you will receive. However, if you do it to get something back, you will be less successful than if you were being whole heartedly generous. You reap what you sow, so to speak.

Managing Your Life

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

Sometimes life seems to throw everything at you all at once, and it can be overwhelming. We all have different ways to deal with the things in our lives, some ways are more successful than others.

For me, writing everything down in a To Do list really helps, because I struggle to keep everything in my head at once. I prioritise the list in terms of importance and when it needs to be done by. 1 = Very Important, 2 = Important and 3 = Not Important. A = Do it today, B = Do it this week and C = Do it this month. Everything with an A gets done today in order of importance, everything with a B this week etc.

American President Dwight D. Eisenhower developed this matrix to manage everything he had to deal with as President.

Source: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:7_habits_decision-making_matrix.png

There are many different ways to manage the things you have to get done each day. If you have not already done so, I suggest you figure out a way that works for you, otherwise procrastination will rule your life and you may feel overwhelmed.

Change Is Not Progress

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Two of the Principles I live by are ‘Change is constant’ and ‘Progress is a journey.’ They are not the same thing, but they are both helpful.

Often people think they are making progress because they are getting a lot done, but doing the same thing over and over does not help you progress. In order to have progress you need to have a destination in mind and you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things.

The destination could be a losing X number of pounds in weight. You will need to change what you eat and your habits around food to take you to where you want to be. Just eating less won’t help.

Change is automatic and it requires no effort, but it is wise to remember the nature of change, and say to yourself ‘This too will pass.’ Both good things and bad things in your life are temporary. Remembering this will help us see the light in the darkness of our despair and the preciousness of our joy in the good things in our lives.

Understanding both change and progress are needed to live a fulfilling life.

Don’t Focus On Your Strengths

Achieving Goals, Success

We hear a lot of motivational speakers talk about focusing on your strengths, whether it be your top 5 or your best strength. However, anyone who has become successful at anything had to develop and become good at what they currently do.

Strengths are certainly useful, but they do not provide long term success, because there is no long turm objective, other than to become better at what you are already good at. It is smarter to have a vision or purpose for your life, a reason why you get up in the morning, and centre your development around that.

It could be to help people to read or to make a difference in people’s lives or to run your own company or many other things. Your strengths will often help with these things, but only if they align with your vision, purpose or reason. It is more likely that you will need to develop in areas that you are not strong in currently and with work these then become your strengths. The goal is to live your best life, which will require developing in areas that are not your current strengths.

Setting Goals For 2022

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Over the past few days I have briefly covered the 6 Steps of the Pathway To Fulfilment to help you consider what goals you want to set for yourself this year.

As I have said, often it is better to build in new daily habits and aim to keep them consistently and to link these to your overall purpose in your life, if you want to make long term, positive change in your life. Goals are important too though, because they give us something to work towards and deadlines to hold ourselves accountable.

Whatever goals or daily habits you choose to undertake this year, commit, go all in and make this year an amazing and transformational year.

2022 Goals: Self Mastery

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

One thing that all gurus, mentors and motivational coaches advocate for is self mastery. Whether it be mindfulness meditation or achieving goals, understanding and mastering how we think, feel and act allows us to move skilfully through the world.

Step 2 in the Pathway To Fulfilment is Self Mastery, which begins with self knowledge and extends to establishing what you believe, what your values are and what your ethics are. It is a process of self examination and is built on a foundation of acquired wisdom and will lead toward Defining Your Purpose, which is Step 5.

What will you try to develop in yourself this year?

It could be overcoming procrastination or starting a journal. It could be trying new things or mastering what you already do. My advice is to pick no more than two or three things to work on at once, but start, be consistent and set deadlines for your goals, so you can check your progress.

100 Followers Reached

Achieving Goals, The Pathway To Fulfilment

It’s been a successful year for The Fullfilment Project blog, with the new daily format reaching more readers and the Pathway To Fulfilment gaining clarity.

Looking forward into 2022, I aim to further develop the Pathway To Fulfilment and look at ways that I can create more value for my readers. Thank you for joining me on this journey of figuring out how to live well. Your presence in this community matters, so why not head over to our Facebook community and engage with us there too.

Living A Healthy Lifestyle

Achieving Goals, Health, The Fullfilment Framework

Drop by drop a water bucket is filled over time. The quality of the water also depends on its source. Likewise our bodies are made up of what we eat and drink, drop by drop over time.

The state of our health depends on a number of factors though. Exercise is another major contributor to good health, but exercising for 3 hours once won’t make you physically healthy. However, if you exercise for 15 minutes everyday, you will become more physically healthy. Likewise, our level and quality of Chi (Qi) depends on us practicing Chi Kung (Qigong) or Tai Chi every day.

Our state of health, whether good or bad, is an accumulation of our daily habits. If we eat junk food every day and avoid exercise, then we will put on weight and develop bad health conditions. The choice is yours, you control your habits. If you are going to try and be healthy, starting in the new year, then the good habits you form need to be actioned consistently every day.

Starting tomorrow I will be sharing posts around 2022 goals which align with the Pathway To Fulfillment.

Making Plans During A Pandemic

Achieving Goals, Success

We are approaching the end of the year and the beginning of next year. A time when we would normally be thinking about New Year Resolutions and setting goals. With the possibility of further restrictions in England in the new year, making plans seems difficult.

That being said, I believe we should still set goals for the new year. The goals will likely need to be modified or made to be more realistic, given the limitations of living through a pandemic, but as human beings, if we do not make progress, we can feel that our lives are stagnating.

So, set goals, be daring, think about where you would want to be by the end of next year without the pandemic being a factor, and then plan accordingly. Then consider how you can make those goals a reality safely while considering the pandemic. Much is possible when we have a destination and an open mind to the route to get there.

Make A Difference

Achieving Goals, Success

We spend a lot of our time putting things off until tomorrow, but the problem with tomorrow is that we never get there. If we form a habit of putting things off then the habit means we perpetually avoid doing the thing we need to do.

For all of us, we have a day which is our last day and so much that would benefit the world goes undone, because it was put off until tomorrow.

If you want to make the world better, if you want to make a difference, then do the thing you are scared to do, do it. Go all in and do it. The worst that can happen is that it doesn’t work or you need to make it better. Whatever may happen, it will be better than never doing it at all.

Go and make a difference.

What Game Are You Playing?

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

In life there are two types of ‘game’, the finite game and the infinite game. This is discussed by Simon Sinek in his book The Infinite Game, and he discusses it in this video. I have mentioned it on this blog before too.

The finite game is defined as having fixed rules, known players and the point is to win, which is the end of the game. Football for example. The infinite game is defined as having flexible rules, known and unknown players and the point is to stay in the game. Playing catch with your 3 year old for example.

A lot of day to day human activities are infinite; running a business, being in a relationship, customer service, being a parent, etc. However, often, especially in business, we talk about winning or being number 1 or the best at (fill in the blank), without realising that we are playing the wrong game.

There is no such thing as being number 1 at parenting, though many think they are. There is no such thing as being number 1 at customer service, though many companies claim that they are. You cannot win love or be the best at health. Somethings are just without a clear end.

Life is an infinite game. None of us will come out of it alive, but we want to keep living as long as we can. Within the many infinite games we play in our personal and professional lives there are also finite games too. There are also goals that we set which, once completed, stop as a goal and we find another one.

In life we are more likely to be successful if we play by the right rules for the different ‘games’ we play. In our relationships, we want to nourish them for the long term. When it comes to our health, we want to eat, drink and exercise for our long term health. And with anything that improves our wellbeing, if we are competing, we compete with ourselves.

How To Be Number 1

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success

The idea of being number 1 is based on finite thinking. Companies all the time state they are number 1, but this is always based on their own criteria. Often it had has also been part of a winner takes all system that puts colleagues against each other for the fight to earn the most money. Both of these ways of thinking are destructive.

We are also transitioning from the industrial age where factories were king and we are entering the communication age where anyone can start a business with a laptop and a WIFI connection.

This new disruptive way of working is making the old way of working more scarce, where we are paid to do what we are told. This is because companies are in a race to do things cheaper and many jobs have been automated. You can spend decades working for a company only to be made redundant because technology or someone in another country can do your job cheaper.

As bleak as this seems, it provides a tremendous opportunity to become indispensable. Rather than trying to be number 1 in a particular category, invent your own category, a category of 1. Being the best at being you will mean you become a Linchpin, as Seth Godin calls it; someone who is indispensable. So go take on the challenges that those who would rather follow orders won’t tackle.

Go solve interesting problems and go and lead. This is how you gain job security in a cheaper is better business world, because there are companies that understand that human is better, not cheaper.

Love What You Do

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

We hear the motivational mantra “Do what you love” a lot in the motivational coaching sphere, and in society generally, but I think it is bad advice if the suggestion is to have the thing you love as your source of income. The thing you love may not be something that you can be paid to do, or at least difficult to get paid for.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t do what you love, but assuming everyone can is misleading. By all means do what you love, but make sure your rent and bills are paid. You will find it even harder to be a success if you end up homeless.

When you are wanting to be successful it is more effective to love what you do. Some people sell coffee in a coffee shop, others create meaningful experiences for customer that lift their day and make them feel good, while selling them coffee. Some manage a team, others lead a team in such a way that every member of the team contributes and works towards a shared vision.

You get my point. Sometimes it is better to love what you do, but also do what you love when you can. We all want different things and have different life experiences and constraints. Don’t feel that you have to do what you love because society says so, do what is best for you.