Category: Health

Give Yourself Permission

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

For a long time I have struggled with achieving the same levels of success as my peers. I have questioned whether there is something wrong with me or if everyone else is just better than me and then I had a revelation. I had this revelation a few weeks ago, but it felt like just a theory and, consequently, I did not apply it to my life straight away. The revelation was that I can give myself permission to thrive.

This might sound silly or somewhat obvious, but I have grown up with others doing things for me a lot of the time. My parents took such good care of me I barely had to struggle or strive for anything. I benefited from the privilege of being white and middle class too. All this meant that when I hit the real world I subconsciously expected things to carry on as easily as they have always done, but they didn’t. Consequently, I felt average and mediocre.

What I needed to do was give myself permission to take ownership of my life, my health and my work. When I have been in leadership positions I have worked well in these roles and been a decent servant leader, but when I thought about describing myself in this way it felt disingenuous. The core of my realisation is that when others asked me to step into these roles I thrived and rather than waiting for others to give me permission, I can simply give myself permission.

This became empowering, where before I felt rather disempowered. Weirdly, for the first time I felt like I could take ownership of my life, fully and wholeheartedly, and you can too. Give yourself permission; own your life and you can thrive.

Purpose Vs Mindfulness

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

To have a purpose is to have a goal to work towards. It is essentially something we ‘do’. To be mindful it is less about ‘doing’ and more about ‘being’. In a sense ‘doing’ is a more Western approach to life and ‘being’ is a more Eastern approach to life. Depending on where your cultural reference points are you might feel that these are polar opposites.

In fact they are intertwined. You cannot ‘do’ well unless you are present in the moment and you cannot ‘be’ in the moment without a purpose for doing so. They feed each other like Yin and Yang. To separate them would end up causing confusion and frustration and you would not be able to ‘do’ or ‘be’ particularly well.

To be purposeful mindfully or be mindful on purpose are not easy things to do, but once we recognise the interconnected nature of the two elements we can work towards it.

The Benefits of Generosity

Happiness, Health, Leadership, Relationships, The Pathway To Fulfilment

The other day I saw six or seven pigeons surrounding a slice of white bread that someone had left on the floor. They were all eating as much as they could as quickly as they could. Then one of them took a dislike to the pigeon next to it and started chasing it around. Perhaps it felt the other pigeon was eating its bit of bread, who knows, but for a good 30 seconds this pigeon chased the other around. Meanwhile, all of the other pigeons kept on eating. This reminded me of how our lizard brains can do us a disservice in contemporary life.

The lizard brain is in charge of fear, anger, revenge and reproduction. It is the early part of our brains that evolved which kept us safe from saber tooth tigers and from being kicked out of the tribe. It is why we survived as a species in our evolutionary early days. This served us well back then but it can ruin our lives today. It is largely the cause of stress, ill health and broken relationships. Even when we have a good life, objectively speaking, the lizard brain can take us away from the good things we have.

The whole time the pigeon was chasing the other pigeon it was missing out on the food that was lying on the floor ready to be eaten. There was more than enough food to go around, but fear that the other pigeon might eat their food turned to anger, which turned to revenge causing a pigeon chase around a car park.

If the pigeons were able to talk to each other and they had the capacity to have empathy, compassion or generosity, then they could have all happily shared the meal. The stress level would have been lower, and their relationships, pigeon to pigeon, would have been supportive, loving and generous. This is how we live good lives. We have good relationships, we are generous and we share what we have with those who need what we have.

The next time you see a homeless person on the street begging for money don’t automatically think, ‘why should I give them my money, they will only spend it on alcohol.’ Perhaps they haven’t eaten for two days and they need money for food, perhaps they need an extra £1 to pay for a hostel to have a comfy bed and shelter for the night.

They may have slept outside in the cold and rain for a week and are on death’s door and some change from us will save their life. And when you give them some change look them in the eye, smile at them and wish them well, because 95% of people that walked past them that day did not even acknowledge their existence. Be the 5% that cares and see their humanity.

Program Yourself To Thrive

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I was in a taxi on the way to work the other day and while we were stopped at the traffic lights I saw a little blue flower growing out of a crack in the tarmac path. It had no business being there but there it was anyway doing its best to survive and thrive. It got me thinking about the way nature strives to live and grow all of the time, as if it is programmed to thrive anywhere it finds itself.

Often we talk about needing the right resources or the right conditions before trying something new. We overthink new ventures and often talk ourselves out of them. If we were to take examples from nature and aim to thrive no matter the conditions, then we would do well in life. We would take every opportunity with both hands and just get on with it.

Thriving is not about the conditions we have but the mindset that we have. To be excited about a new challenge and to have the courage to give it a go and see what happens, while also applying our skills and common sense to bend our path towards success. We can program ourselves to thrive by the thoughts we have and how we explain both and bad situations to ourselves.

Be like the little blue flower.

Walking A Spiritual Path

Happiness, Health, Success

When you are on a spiritual path you are kind of on two journeys at the same time. In one we look to improve ourselves and become better people and in the other we look to improve the world around us and try to make it a better world. In his book Soul Boom, Rainn Wilson describes these like Kung Fu and Star Trek. The TV series Kung Fu represents an individual spiritual journey of self discovery, self discipline and finding meaning within. The original TV series Star Trek represents a better society where there is equality and equity, where an interracial kiss is normal and where meaning is found in serving the greater good.

In his book, Rainn Wilson writes, “What good is a spiritual path that only enriches our own inner peace while hundreds of millions go hungry and conversely how do we sustainably serve those millions if our hearts are hard, cold and filled with selfish ego or materialistic motives. How can there be peace without justice? There is an ongoing dance, a conversation between two moral paths that lie ahead of us. We seek personal enlightenment so that we can serve more, have an outward orientation and help create a better world. And when we undertake this service we are in turn internally awakened and fulfilled to an even greater degree.” [Rainn Wilson, Soul Boom – Scribed from a YouTube interview with Rich Roll where the passage was read out]


Rainn Wilson sees this as a kind of Yin Yang relationship, that each feeds into the other and requires the other. There is no better world without better people and no better people without a better world. As spiritual seekers we can take the best of the worlds religious faiths that speak to our individual morals, ethics and sense of how the universe works and make them our own, but we have to be prepared to walk the spiritual path of self awareness, self betterment and self wisdom, while we also help others around us who are walking their own paths, with their own challenges.

I wrote a poem some time ago called Spiritual Warrior and I feel that this is what walking a spiritual path is like. It takes courage to look at the inner depths of yourself and to try and mould yourself into a more enlightened person. The image of Siddhartha Gautama sitting under the Bodhi tree meditating, having decided not to move from that spot until he became enlightened, comes to mind. As the story goes, as Siddhartha Gautama began his seated quest, the demon Mara sent all of his monsters to tempt and torment him, but they had no effect and when he opened his eyes he was enlightened and became the Buddha. We do not have real demons tormenting us, but we have thoughts, memories and mental conditions that can make it difficult to walk the spiritual path, but, when we walk together, we are the Yin to each other’s Yang.

The Emptiness Of Compassion

Happiness, Health, Relationships

When we think of compassion we think of sympathising with those who are suffering in some way. This relationship with the person who is suffering is one with a them and a me, which has an innate division. In Buddhism compassion is very important, as is the concept of emptiness, which is essentially that all things are empty of labels, characteristics and preferences, to put it simply.

Compassion, in its best form, is one where there is no division between yourself and others; there is an innate unity. This would mean that the compassion you feel is for the suffering of another living being and the wish to end this suffering, because you see no difference between them and you. This is the kind of compassion I would advocate for, the kind that has no divisions, only an understanding of the suffering of others and the wish to end it.

Overcoming Inner Battles

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I’ve been listening to the audiobook of The War of Art by Steven Pressfield on YouTube this week and it cuts deep into all the excuses and rationalisations that we come up with to avoid doing the new ventures or starting anything that will likely be good for us, but would also require change. It brings you face to face with what he calls the Resistance. This is the force that talks you out of beginning anything new. It is the writer’s block and the procrastination monster.

To do battle with the Resistance and do that which our brains try to talk us out of is a courageous act. To fight back and do the thing you are scared to do is to live a life of bravery. It reminds me of a quote from Teddy Roosevelt often quoted by Brene Brown and this is how I want to try and live my life.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

My New Life Manifesto

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

For a while now I’ve been dancing around ideas on self improvement and how to live well and not being fully committed or being the best version of myself. I think this is partly because fully owning my life feels like a big responsibility and can seem scary at times. It’s easier to stick with habits and go on autopilot through life. The trouble with that is that you can end up unhealthy, unhappy and underwhelmed by life. At 41 I felt it was time I really tried to cut the bullshit and take ownership of my life and my health.

I have Fibromyalgia, which can be a debilitating condition leaving me exhausted and in pain in my muscles and joints most of the time. Having the will and the energy to do anything can be a challenge. But knowing how to improve my fibro symptoms and not doing it is something I’m not prepared to do anymore. So, I have written a kind of life manifesto. I’ve tried writing this kind of thing before, but they have either been unhelpful or I just haven’t committed to them. As they say, I hope this time it will be different.

So, here it is. I am a very visual person so I have gone all graphic designy to make it appealing and accessible for me. I’ve used the word ‘better’ to express doing each thing in a wiser, more effective way than I have in the past. I’ve started at the top with my Why, my Purpose; to THRIVE SO THAT OTHERS MAY THRIVE.

MIND

I know that one’s attitude in any given situation is a choice, as expressed by Viktor E. Frankl in his great book Man’s Search For Meaning, and one’s attitude shapes everything we experience. Mindset has a similar impact and a growth mindset is better than a fixed mindset, the choice of mindset is for each of us to make. However, we also need actions, not just intentions. It is important to have good habits, things we do daily to improve our lives and the lives of others.

BODY

One of the things I have learned about physical illness is that diet plays a big role in causing and worsening any illness. This is a change that I have struggled to make, as I keep bouncing back to what I habitually eat. If I am going to be able to live my life and serve people, I need to make this change. Physical strength is something that many of us wish for, to be strong and look good. Having Fibromyalgia my muscles often feel weak and I am sometimes not able to do tasks which others may find easy. This is something I aim to change. Some of you may have a good understanding of what Chi is, others may have only heard it in reference to Tai Chi. Chi is the life energy that flows through all living things, in accordance with Traditional Chinese Medicine, and for us to be healthy we need our Chi to flow well, we need to have an abundance of it and for it to be balanced around the body. Better Chi means better flow, quantity and balance. Without this we get sick.

SPIRIT

I am a student of theology, not in the sense of getting a qualification, but in the sense of spending my time reading about and understanding the theology of different religions around the world. Three key themes that stand out to me that will help me fulfil my Purpose and live a good life are Connection, Wisdom and Altruism. The first includes connection to others and to the universe as a whole, and everything in between. If we are wise we will live well, this is a given, and to be altruistic means to lift others up, to help them to thrive.

I hope that this Life Manifesto helps me to thrive in order to help others to thrive too. I also hope that you find this inspirational and you write your own Life Manifesto, or feel free to steal mine. I wish for you a blessed and happy life my friend.

Setting Goals For 2023

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

It is that time of year again when we make New Year Resolutions with an underlying suspicion that we may not keep them going beyond January, but we convince ourselves that this year it will be different. This may be a conical view, but it is often our experience.

Part of the problem is that we set general goals like losing weight, which we are not necessarily invested in and there is no specific purpose behind them. Another part of the problem is that we want a quick fix to fix our lives, something easy and quick to do that will solve all of our problems. This will never work, because there are no quick fixes. The issue is that we do not want to commit our time to improve our lives. We want something we can do for 5 minutes a day or something quick at the weekend.

In order to improve your life you must fix your life. This must be a long term commitment. For example, I have lower back pain for which I have been to see a physio. Their advice was to complete daily exercises to strengthen my core muscles, which would alleviate my back pain. I did it for a week every morning and my back pain began to improve. I then missed a couple of days and my back got bad again. So, if I want a pain free back I need to complete these core strengthening exercises every day for the long term, with no missed days. It is the same for all areas of our lives that we want to improve.

This is how life works. We need to stop making New Year Resolutions and start making life commitments. These commitments should be decided and reviewed after a long period, say every 3 to 6 months. Then adjust or pivot where needed. This is so we consciously understand that this is a life change and that we are committed to it.

In order to have a life we are happy in we need to invest in a life that creates wellbeing and joy. This takes daily commitment. We also need a purpose for the life changes we make otherwise the changes will be as effective as trying to lose weight for no serious reason. With purpose and commitment your life will change for the better.

The Lessons of Chronic Pain

Happiness, Health, Success

Being in pain most of each and every day has its drawbacks, clearly. It limits ones capacity to live and move in the world, but it has some unexpected benefits. I know this from the personal experience of living with Fibromyalgia. Here’s what I’ve learned.

Carry On Regardless

Being in pain, as I often am, with pain in my muscles and joints, doing the everyday tasks becomes challenging. Let alone going to work and looking after my family, but I must carry on regardless. Necessity becomes the motivation to keep going, and this becomes a skill, the skill to keep going when all you want to do is stop.

Choosing Your State Of Mind

Being in chronic pain can send you into dark places in the mind. Depression is a slippery slope of despair that feels like the only way to think about the circumstances you are in. This is essentially helplessness, but helplessness is a learned mental state, which can be changed to an optimistic state, you can choose your state of mind. You can be in pain and be joyful. This is a skill and one that is very difficult to master, but with practice you can be in good states of mind no matter your circumstances.

Your Health Is Your Responsibility

Often we assume that our bodies will keep on going until we get old. This is why we drink heavily and spend the weekend partying. This is also why we think we can work long hours and not get enough sleep and keep going. Your body is an amazing machine that functions well when it is well maintained and well looked after, but less so when it is not.

We can’t live life at full throttle and when we get sick expect others to fix us. We can’t go to the GP and say fix me. They will often just give us some pills to take which will mask the problem and cause other problems.

The way to ensure we are healthy is in what we eat and drink, what physical activity we do, how good our relationships are and how we think. This is a lesson hard learned when you are in chronic pain, because you just want someone to come along and make it all go away. You have to be your own saviour.

Self Mastery

We have been blessed with amazing faculties of mind and body, but they do not come with an instruction manual, though much can be understood if you know where to get the correct guidance. Your mind and body are connected in a sort of synergy where each effects the other. Self mastery requires mastery of both, but mastery of the mind is the key. Being in chronic pain, you are brought face to face with the necessity of this kind of self mastery. What begins as survival can become thriving. What seems to be coping strategies can become techniques of self mastery.

It comes down to a choice of how you want to live your life.

Self Development: Weekly Check-ins

Achieving Goals, Health, Success

It is around this time of year that we start to think about making New Years resolutions that we often don’t keep up. We have good intentions of making life changes, but a lack of consistency let’s us down. I have started something that is keeping my improvement at work consultant. It’s is taken from the Agile project management framework called Scrum.

When working on a project you would have a period of work called a Sprint, usually a week or two, and at the end you would have a Retrospective where you discuss what went well and what you didn’t get done. I’ve been setting specific goals to improve how I work and then doing weekly Retrospectives and asking myself; What went well? What could have gone better? What are the goals for the next week?

The goals are usually linked to what could have gone better with new knowledge from what went well and they morph each week as a modify my actions until something works and then I stick to it. It is a simple exercise that takes ten minutes at the end of the week and five minutes to review as a reminder at the start of the next week. Try it and let me know in the comments how it goes.

Life On Sale

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

Much like Black Friday, we spend spend spend in the Boxing Day sales. We often buy things we don’t need just because it has 50% off, or some such discount, but we don’t often stop to think if we need what we are buying at a discounted rate. Are we buying because it’s on sale or because we actually want or need it?

We often do the same if something is free. We may be on a strict no sugar diet but if a company is giving away free cans of their sugar-laced drink we grab two of them. This is usually put down to a lack of will power, which is true, but there is a lot of manipulation from companies who want to sell you things as well. It will help if you live by principles that lead to a healthier and happier life, and to developing a high motivation to stick to these principles. Then, sale or no sale you will live well.

Asking For Help Is Refusing To Give Up

Happiness, Health, Relationships

At this time of year, with an economic crisis, the aftermath of a pandemic and lots of other factors, many of us feel stressed and isolated. Some of us can fall into depression and despair feeling like there is no way out. We may not feel like we want to ask for help or even talk about what we are going through. This is true mostly of men who want to handle everything themselves. But talking about it with a trusted person will help.

It is not true that asking for help is a weakness. It is in fact a strength. To ask for help is refusing to give up. Many feel that ending it all is the only option, but you will have people around you who will help if they know you need it. So, if you are feeling low, if you feel depressed or if you feel there is no way out of your situation, ask for help and it will come. To tackle the hard shit that life throws at us can be extremely difficult at times, but together we can get through it. Together is better.

The Power Of Now

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

The future is a fantasy and the past a memory, both of which only exist in the present mind. This is what many Eastern philosophies proclaim. This may jar against your religious or non-religious views, but there is something powerful about being present.

It is where we can be in the state of Flow, where we are more productive and more available for those we have relationships with. The power of the now, as it is often called, seems to me to be a truism; being present is powerful and transformational. It is also difficult to consistently be mindful of the present moment.

The tried and tested method to become more present is meditation, a habit I’ve been trying to bring into my morning routine and something I recommend, as do many others.

When you have chronic pain you have an interesting relationship with the present moment. Knowing that being present is beneficial and wanting to escape the pain creates a conflict that is only overcome, ironically, by being present and working through the difficult thoughts and feelings. Whether you suffer from chronic pain, as I do, or not, this process of trying to stay in the moment is part of the work of self mastery.

To tame and control your thoughts and to remain present is the mastery we can all strive for through practice. So sit your bum down and meditate, even if it is only for 5 minutes a day. Practice mindfulness and your life will be transformed. This is the power of the now.

Your Attitude Matters

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

Recently I have been struggling with inner ear problems, which causes Vertigo and Tinnitus in both ears. Not a fun combination to add to my Fibromyalgia, but the tougher the challenge the bigger the opportunity for growth. In the mornings I am trying to develop a routine that starts my day off with stretches and exercises, meditation and Chi Kung (Qigong), but I have struggled to be motivated, as many of my health problems seem to be a constant. It causes me to think “what’s the point?” Though there is also a positive voice in my head encouraging me onwards.

I was reminded when reading the book Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty that the act of completing a morning routine consistently is not just about the health benefits, of which there are many, it is also about your mind realising that you did what you said you were going to do, no matter how hard it is. I was also reminded of a quote from Viktor E. Frankl’s book Man’s Search For Meaning which has kept me positive when I’ve felt like staying in bed and not bothering with my day. I hope it helps you too. This is the quote.

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."

Choose your attitude and you choose your way in the world.

Try To Be Grateful

Happiness, Health, Relationships

There are millions of people in the world who do not have access to clean water. Many have no access to electricity. Many are homeless. There are so many things that we take for granted that others just don’t have.

Being grateful does two things. It puts your life into perspective in relation to others who do not have what we have and it makes us so much happier. Start off the day by listing at least five things that you are grateful for, starting with the fact that you woke up alive this morning and you will be in a really good place to start your day.

Change Your Thinking

Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I saw a Facebook post today that said “Until you change your thinking you will always recycle your experiences.” There is truth in this statement. The way we see things is often based on our thinking. In other words, we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

The way to change the experiences we have is to change our thinking. There are three areas of a person to master, if we are to develop self mastery. Our mind, our body and our chi. The mind is the linchpin, as it controls much of the functioning of the other two. The thoughts we have change the biochemistry that our brains control, because the mind controls the brain. Our thoughts as translated into physical sensations and experiences. Thoughts can ruin our day or uplift our day.

Self mastery begins with mastering our thoughts.

You Are Not Broken

Happiness, Health, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Often when we have experienced trauma we feel broken, we call ourselves broken and sometimes other use this word to describe us. I would like to respectfully disagree. No one is broken.

Trauma damages our sense of well-being and we can feel as if we will never feel well again, but this is not true. There is always a path back to the light of wholeness. We may need support from the people around us and the resources we have access to, like well chosen books.

It may take time, sometimes it can take years, but the things missing that took away your wholeness can be brought back into your lives and wholeness will be possible again. You are never alone and you are not broken. You are a beautifully unique human being that has a unique that only you can bring to the world. I for one am happy you are sharing this life long adventure we us.

What Principles Do You Live By?

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

To many in the western secular world the idea of living by principles will seem somewhat alien. However, many cultures of the past, and, to a degree, the present, have principles or values that are seen as important to live by.

Many of the most successful people have principles that they use to guide their decision making and how the spend their time. For example, someone who values integrity will likely stick to their word, do what they say they are going to do and make sure they are consistent on their positive habits.

As strange this concept might be for you, I recommend looking at principles in two ways. Firstly, review what you care about, what you value. Secondly, review your goals and what you want out of life. Then see where there is a cross over. For example, you might value good health and you want to achieve more at work. If you build in habits that optimise your health you will likely have more energy to put into your work. Your Principle to live by might be ‘healthy habits are productive habits.’

Try out a few principles and see what fits. You do have to commit to loving by your new principles for a while before disregarding them as a bad fit or unhelpful. Sincerely try each new habit for a month and see what happens.

Progress Is A Journey

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Each year we have four season, Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Life moves in cycles in many ways in our lives and sometimes our progress feels like Summer and sometimes it feels like Winter. However, this is not the end of the story, as Spring follows Winter and on it goes.

When we make progress in anything it will stop and start, it will take sharp left turns and the terrain will changes as you go. Progress is far from a linear step by step process. Life ensures that we have both challenges and rewards.

For a long time I saw progress as a linear process of climbing a metaphorical mountain, but real progress has metaphorical valleys and desserts, forests and oceans. I realise now a wiser way to think about progress is as a journey. It is the destination that should be our focus and we will figure out the route. As Friedrich Nietzsche once said “One who has a ‘why’ to live for can endure almost any ‘how’.”

Don’t Rely On Habits

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

As adults a large percentage of our thoughts and actions each day are automatic. They are habits programmed in and controlled by our subconscious, so we can use our conscious mind for any unique situations that appear in our lives.

These programmed habits are useful for survival, but they often don’t serve us in the modern world, depending on our habits. The habits we develop are often a combination of things to make life easier, influences from advertising and the media and experiences we had as children. If we do not take control of our habits they will run our lives haphazardly and we will rarely feel fulfilled.

We need to live more mindfully, more consciously. To choose what we do in each moment, and when a programmed habits pops up we can analyse it and see if it is serving us. If it is not, then we can replace it with a better habit, thought or intention. Mastering our habits will help us master our minds.

Responsibility Is A Privilege

Happiness, Health, Success

This title could be taken a number of ways. Let me explain my meaning. Often in life we see responsibility as a burden, something that we avoid, either because we don’t want to have to devote our time to it or because we already have a lot of responsibility and we would struggle to fit in more.

In either case, the way we see responsibility can either leave us feeling stressed or excited. If we see responsibility as a privilege then we will see it as something we have earned and are capable of. We will feel more confident and able to fulfill the needs of the responsibility.

Essentially, seeing a responsibility as a privilege naturally brings out excitement and makes us want to work to prove we have earned it. It is a completely different mindset, a mindset that can make the work you do more fulfilling. However, we must be mindful of taking on too much responsibility. There are only 24 hours in a day and we all have a limit to the energy we can spend each day. So be selective with the responsibilities you take on too.

Living In Alignment

Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

When we are born our body and mind understand our nature as human beings, what we need to sustain us and how to live as a human being. Not intellectually, but instinctively. Then we become aware of our culture and our minds shift to operating in alignment with the culture in which we live.

This could be the culture in our family, in our friendship group or in the society in which we live. When our minds are overridden by cultural expectations that do not match what our bodies instinctively know to be correct, our levels of stress go up and our bodies get sick.

This might seem unrealistic but we have all worked in a workplace where the culture does not feel right, it feels outside what we expect to be the norms we want to live by. This friction causes stress. Many of us don’t fully understand or are aware of our beliefs and values, specifically, and we live lives based on the people and environment around us.

If we were to go deep and really understand what our beliefs and values are and we lived in alignment with them, then our energy, enthusiasm and fulfilment would grow exponentially. Living in alignment with who we really are is the first step towards living a fulfilled life.

Overcome Your Limits

Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I have had a tough time recently with my Fibromyalgia kicking my ass and developing Visual Vertigo, which mean I am off balance some of the time. I was on a low ebb yesterday and then I realised that I had limited thinking. All I could see was the continuation of my suffering and, without realising it, I was seeing my current condition as permanent, which made me feel helpless.

I then remembered three things. Firstly, the human body has the amazing ability to heal itself, it is works towards optimum health. This is not to discount serious illnesses, but generally speaking the body heals itself.

Secondly, I was using a pessimistic explanatory style, as described in the book Learned Optimism by Martin E.P. Seligman, which adds to the feeling of helplessness. Thinking of my situation as temporary changes everything.

Thirdly, I remembered that my purpose is to help others to thrive and in order to do this I need to figure out how I can thrive. I am the test subject for all my future successes helping others to overcome their challenges. I will not let them down.

So, I began to see my current challenges as opportunities to build resilience and to learn how to help others overcome and thrive. I woke up with a positive mindset this morning and ready to try again.

The Key To Being Happy

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

We often get frustrated that things don’t go as we want them to. Sometimes it feels like the world is against us and nothing goes our way. Thinking about life in these terms is destructive towards our happiness.

If the world was always as you want it to be, then it would not be the way someone else wants it to be. There are billions of people in the world and each person has ups and downs in life. I am glad everything not how you want it to be, because your way is different to the way of so many others.

The key to happiness is not to try and control what happens in the world, or even to expect things to be how you want them to be. The key is to control how you respond to the events of life. Your mindset is the thing that impacts your level of happiness the most. How you explain the events in life to yourself matters.

Saying something bad always happens to you takes away any influence you have on the situation and you end up feeling helpless. It is better to say the bad things happened at a specific time, to limit its power and then decide what positive actions you are going to do next.

The Art Of Non-Action

Achieving Goals, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Often in Western culture to be strong is to be tough, rigid and immovable. In Chinese culture, there is a concept called Wu Wei. It means ‘The art of non-action,’ it is embracing flow instead of effort to achieve a result. Essentially, it means being flexible, like water and being present in the moment, in a state of flow.

In Wu Wei if you strive for something you miss the point. A goal can be achieved through effortless action, through being so engaged with the task at hand that time passes and the work is done. It is to do and not to try.

When you are doing something you enjoy time passes by almost unnoticed and you go where the activity takes you. You do the thing you are doing without concentrated effort. Applying this to the rest of tour life is Wu Wei.

Making Up Stories

Happiness, Health, The Pathway To Fulfilment

In the absence of data we make up stories. Deciding on which stories we tell ourselves is powerful. If we tell ourselves that we need approval or support from someone else before we can do something, then we give away our power.

This is true of our health too. If we feel that we need medicine or a doctor in order to get better we are selling ourselves short. Our bodies naturally heal themselves, with most ailments. Some illnesses definitely require medical support, so if you are unsure go and see your doctor.

The mind, however, is powerful and there is a direct link between your mind and your body. So if you say things like ‘I always get sick,’ then you are more likely to be so, because your immune system will act accordingly. If you tell yourself that you usually get over illnesses quickly, then you are more likely to.

Your brain will believe what you tell it and your brain is responsible for sending out hormones and nerve messages, amongst other things, to the rest of the body, which will have an impact on how your body functions. Too much stress hormones means an immune that will struggle. The opposite is true also. Is it time to change the story you tell yourself?

Having A Mindset For Wellness

Happiness, Health, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Your well-being is very much in your control. It is about habits, behaviours and making the right decisions. Sometimes life can cause us to pick up bad habits, bad behaviours and cause to make bad decisions. Indulging in what feels or tastes good does not always mean we live a good life.

However, we can learn new habits and behaviours and we can make better decisions. What we need is guidance, guidance on thinking well and on living well. Whether this comes from a religious source or a mentor, there is support out there, we just need to look for it. It begins with how we think. If we think well we can be well.

You Are What You Think

Happiness, Health

What you focus on you feel. If the same thing is repeated it can become who you think you are. We can become who we fear we might be or become who we hope we will be.

If we think the worst will likely happen then our brains will look for evidence of this being true. If we think the best will happen then our brains will do the same. Thinking positive is clearly the better option.

There are a lot of positive things we can be grateful for. The Sun came up today, as it has every day of your life so far and for many many years before you arrived here in your life. If the Sun disappeared I have heard it said that in 18 hours all life on Earth would be gone.

The Sun is essential for life to exist on this planet, yet we rarely spare a thought for how fortunate we are that all life on Earth gets another day, and another day, and so on.

If you begin the day just being grateful for the Sun rising, you might find other things to be grateful for and you will likely have a good day, because your mind will look for evidence for it.

How To Generate Wellness

Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Life comes down to accumulation and balance. What we eat, drink and breathe over time becomes our bodies. The good and the bad is taken in and assimilated. The accumulation of what our body takes in every day bends towards good health or illness. The thoughts we have and the things we allow our minds to be exposed to every day will bend towards good mental and emotional health or mental illness.

Our daily habits also have an a cumulative affect. If we practice Chi Kung (Qigong), Tai Chi or Yoga every day our energy levels and energy quality will be good. If we meditate every day our mind will be calmer and more focused. If we focus on our professional success and make small improvements on a daily basis, we will succeed exponentially. It has been said that if we study a subject for one hour a day we can become a world expert in five years.

All of these things need to be balanced too. If we focus too much on our mind we will neglect our body, and vice versa. We need a synergy between mind and body where each influences the other positively. Accumulation and balance, when well managed, will generate wellness.