Turn Towards The Light

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

A shadow is an absence of light. When we focus on what is not working in our lives and all of the negative things it is like we are looking at a shadow. If we change our perspective and turn towards the light our lives look very different.

We can choose what we focus on, if we try. It may require building new habits and letting old habits whither, but it is worth it. We are what we repeatedly do, so change what you do and you will feel the benefit. However, in order for the new habits to stick we have to believe that we are the kind of person who does those things.

For example, you are not quitting smoking you are someone who does not smoke. Turn your attention towards what you want, towards the light, and your life will get better.

Just Do It

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

The ‘Just’ in the Nike tagline Just Do It recognises that we have a moment of hesitation before doing something new or scary and we need to push ourselves by Just doing it. The word ‘just’ is very powerful in this context. It cuts through the crap and the overthinking and compels us to take action and move forward.

The word reduces the pressure that we or the world is putting on the intended activity and encourages us to switch off our overthinking mind and to take the leap. Without this many of us would not start. Great ideas and opportunities would go undone without it. So the next time you hesitate to do something that would be good for you Just Do It.

Unlearning Our Divisions

Happiness, Leadership, Relationships, Success

We are born into this world without prejudice, without judgement, without hate. We are born one with the human race. We learn to name things and catogerise things and to say what is good and what is bad and who are good and who are bad. We sort the world into this and that, us and them. These are divisions, whether they are small or big, and at the heart of every division is a conflict. Two opposing things set apart by the way we think about them. To understand our place in the world we go through this process of organising everything into divisions, this is natural and necessary.

However, the challenge is to discern one thing from another without having prejudice and judgement of others to cloud our view of the world. To pre-judge or to have prejudice is to assume things about a certain thing or person based on how we have categorised them. It has little to do with them. We think they are this and they are that. Often this way of thinking is passed down from generation to generation and we have whole communities that are in conflict with each other because of what they are told about each other.

To break out of such thinking, when all around us our loved ones think in this way, is very difficult. However, the task of unlearning these divisions is essential in order to live a peaceful and happy life, which is the purpose of a spiritual practice. It is the deliberate practice of dissolving divisions, the end result of which is wisdom.

The Law Of Receptivity

Happiness, Relationships, Success

The fifth Law of Stratospheric Success for the book The Go-Giver is The Law of Receptivity.

“The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.”

The Go-Giver

When we give something to someone at least part of us wants that person to be grateful that we took the time, the effort or the money to give them whatever it is. However, sometimes we can be ungrateful when others give us things, because it is not what we wanted or we don’t want help from others or some other reason.

When we are not open to receiving gifts from others we disrespect the act of giving. In fact, being open to receiving honours the gift and the giver. It is a gift to wholeheartedly receive a gift from others. Who are you to refuse a gift from someone else. In order for giving to work at all there has to be a receiver.

It is a kind of partnership that goes around and around. You give and then you receive and then you give again. It is the exchange of effort and time that keeps relationships going. To be an effective giver you have to be an effective receiver too.

The Law Of Authenticity

The Pathway To Fulfilment

The fourth Law of Stratospheric Success for the book The Go-Giver is The Law of Authenticity.

“The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.”

The Go-Giver

Often in the world we see other people that we would like to be, people we envy or look up to. Often people use social media to present a better version of themselves, a more collated life. This has a lot to do with self esteem and comparing our lives with the lives that others present on social media that seem so much better than our lives because people only share the best bits.

The irony is that when we are more authentically ourselves we are the more likely to be successful. This is because when we live and act authentically we focus on what brings us joy and what we are naturally good at. When we are joyful and doing what we are naturally good at we thrive and achieve great things. People will also trust us more because we are being ourselves all the time. Trust is a big element of success, because we cannot be successful alone. And your authentic You is a gift to the world that you should not hide your awesomeness.

The Law Of Influence

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Relationships, Success

The third Law of Stratospheric Success for the book The Go-Giver is The Law of Influence.

“Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.”

The Go-Giver

We all know people that regularly put themselves first, who ensure that their interests are met before focusing on others. Generally we do not trust these people. We have a built-in sense of community and what makes a community work. Instinctively we do not trust selfish people. Instinctively we trust those who take care of others first.

We also know when someone is pretending to care about others. Genuine empathy and compassion build strong bonds. So if you put the interests of others first then you will be trusted and your opinion is more respected. Therefore, the more you put others first the more influence you have. A good leader is a servant leader. They serve those that they lead. If you do not have a good leader to follow then be a good leader yourself.

The Law Of Compensation

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Success

The second Law of Stratospheric Success for the book The Go-Giver is The Law of Compensation.

“Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.”

The Go-Giver

When you have a customer facing job you get paid a certain amount of money, as you help one customer at a time. The higher up the chain you go the more money you get paid. With this comes more responsibility for serving more people, as your decisions affect more people. However, it also matters how well you serve people.

Service is not doing the bidding of others, it is giving people what they need. Great service is this and improving other people’s lives. Service with a smile brightens someone’s day. Having a conversation while serving someone makes them feel seen and heard.

When not customer facing, making big decisions through compassion and a moral compass means that people’s lives are improved and not negatively impacted. A CEO can take care of their employees. In fact I would say that this is the CEO’s primary role. If a CEO takes care of their employees then the employees will take care of the customers and the customers will be loyal and in turn take care of the business.

The Law Of Value

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Success

The first Law of Stratospheric Success for the book The Go-Giver is The Law of Value

“Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.”

The Go-Giver

When we go to work we often think in terms of being paid for our time and effort. We go to work and do what we are asked to do and do so for a set period of time and then come home again. Then we get paid. If we only work for the money and long for the weekend then it can be hard to create any value or get any fulfilment.

When we focus on adding value through human connections rather than transactions we find our work more fulfilling. Also, the more value we give the more work we get. People like being treated like people, rather than a way for us to make money. Go above and beyond and you will feel good and good things will come your way.

The Five Laws Of Stratospheric Success

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

These laws come from a great little book called The Go-Giver. The book weaves a narrative of a man trying to end the third quarter of the business year with improved sales. In desperation he reaches out to someone to help him and they teach him these five laws. They are laws that can have a profound impact on your life if you were to take them to heart and live them out.

In the coming days I will be exploring each of these laws as I start the year releasing a new blog post each day. These are the laws.

  • THE LAW OF VALUE
  • THE LAW OF COMPENSATION
  • THE LAW OF INFLUENCE
  • THE LAW OF AUTHENTICITY
  • THE LAW OF RECEPTIVITY

Many of us set new goals when a new year begins. We set new year resolutions that we often break by the end of January. It almost seems to be expected that we will fail. That is usually because we set a goal but do not change our habits very much. These laws, if taken to heart and followed, will bring about new and different habits. They will unlock a new way of seeing yourself that could bring about ‘stratospheric success’. Let’s own 2024 and make it a successful year.

We Can Be Peacemakers

Happiness, Health, Relationships, Success

Much of the world is at war with other parts of the world, but also, much conflict is celebrated in the news and social media, when one celebrity is fighting with another or some situation is pitting one group of people against another. It makes good viewing, because people watch. Some conflicts are real and others are not. However, all forms of conflict seep into our lives through our exposure to them.

We can be mindful of what we let into our minds, what things we agree with because those around us do, what we watch on TV and whether we encourage or engage in divisive speech. We are not in a war zone, but we can be peacemakers. We can seek resolution and not conflict. We can become open hearted and not hard hearted. We can learn to assume good intentions from those we interact with. We can seek out our prejudices and judgemental thinking and remove them. We can meditate and pray and share what we have with those around us. In the end, from the cosmic perspective, we are all in this together.

We are on a planet hurtling through space around a star, one of billions in our galaxy in a universe that has billions of galaxies. We share our DNA with all other life on this planet. We share DNA with a banana, and a fruit fly, believe it or not, because we have the same origin as all other life on this planet. If you choose to, you can see all living things as our brothers and sisters, as many native peoples do. Otherwise we risk conflict and divisiveness, even if unintentional.

We are all brothers and sisters. One human family. The chasm between us and our enemies is but a step towards love and compassion. The space between enemies is decided by how we see them and how they see us. In reality there is no space.

The Power of Momentum

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Success

When a large ship wants to change direction it’s turning circle is quite big because it has inertia, or momentum, to keep going in the direction it has been traveling in. Our lives are no different. Our habits keep us moving in a particular direction and we have to work against that momentum if we want to change direction.

On the flip side, if you want to achieve something in life starting from a standstill is difficult and small barriers will prevent us from forward movement. For example, if a train is standing still you can put a one inch block in front of the wheel and it will struggle to move at all. If a train is going at full speed it can smash through a concrete wall.

Momentum matters. Building the right habits gives you that momentum. Doing the right things everyday will give your life an intention and a direction. We are what we repeatedly do.

Reducing The Suffering Of Others

Happiness, Health, Relationships

Naturally in life we don’t want to see other people suffer. However, we often go about the world interacting with others from our own point of view. We think about things in terms of how they impact us. This can cause us to be reactive to life’s events, asking ‘Why have they done this to me?’, for example. A better question to ask is ‘Why did they do that?’ This moves the thinking from us to them and allows us to consider the reason the other person is behaving the way they are.

Hurt people hurt people. So if someone hurts you with their words or their actions it is an indication that they are suffering, and rather than becoming reactive and trying to hurt them back, we could be compassionate and empathetic. This diffuses the situation and creates a space to helps the other person to heal. We will heal a little too.

If we reframe how we see our interactions with others and move from ‘How can I make things better for me?’ to ‘How can I reduce their suffering?’, then your relationships will improve and life will become more fulfilling.

The Problem With Complaining

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

There is often a sense in today’s culture that suggests that we should complain because we might get something out of it. The goal being to get something not to have an issue fixed. There are also times when we have a legitimate complaint, where something has gone wrong. I’m not talking about either of these types of complaints in this post.

What I am talking about is moaning about day to day things that we are unhappy about. In conversation with a colleague I complained about the time I would have to get up in order to catch the train to a training event in another city. Rather than the socially accepted response of validating my moaning, they said, “Well you did volunteer for the training.”

The point is that most things that we complain/moan about are things we have signed up for but we still want sympathy for the effort we have to put in. If you want to be productive, effective or in demand you have to change your mindset and quit the moaning. If you just get on with it life will be better for you. You will be happier and you will become someone others go to in order to get things done. A simple change in habit will have a big impact.

The Gift Is In The Giving

Happiness, Relationships

I was given a medallion with an embossed image of St Christopher carrying a child across a river by my father recently. He has carried it around with him for many years and the shiny outer brassy layer of metal has worn away in places revealing the shinier silvery metal underneath. It is well worn and well used.

I don’t believe that it will give me luck or protection, but it feels like a legacy, a gift that I should carry around with me throughout my life, which I will. The importance is in the giving and the belief of my father that it will help me. The gift is in the giving and its intention, and that is why I will honour the gift and keep it with me.

We Are All Connected

Happiness, Relationships, Success

“The energy you use to get a drink of water comes from sunshine working its way up to you through the food chain – in a real sense, light lifts the cup to your lips. The apparent wall between your body and the world is more like a picket fence.” (Page 27, Buddha’s Brain, The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom by Rick Hanson, PH.D. and Richard Mendius, MD)

I have long pondered the connectivity of us and our world/universe. From the energy we need to live coming from our Sun to the elements that make up us and our planet being forged in a long dead sun to the interwoven weather systems and ecosystems across our planet to the interwoven cultures that mingle through the immigration of people and ideas; we are very much connected. That being said we often get in our own way by demanding independence from others and seeing other people as different and strange.

You could say that all divisions are created by ourselves through a process of trying to understand the world in which we move and education systems that classify and categorise things. Much needs to be unlearned in order to reduce division in the world. Unlearning our learned divisions is the work of the wise; the work coming first and the wisdom follows. It is up to each of us to choose how we see ourselves and how we see others, the future of our collective world depends on this choice that we each must make.

Awaken The Greatness In You

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Once or twice in a generation there are born people of greatness. People like Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King come into the world and make it a better place for us all. The difference between us and them is that we often are waiting for people like them to turn up and save us. This is not likely to happen. Therefore, we need to save ourselves.

Not an easy task. The problem is in thinking that such greatness is something people are born with, but history shows us that people of greatness are molded by the circumstances they are in and the decisions they make every day to respond to those circumstances.

Even though Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years he demanded respect from the Prison Officers every day. That was a decision made once and kept for 27 years. Seth Godin has written a blog post every day for many years and has now posted over 7000 blog posts because he made the decision decades ago that he will write a new blog post tomorrow. Once decided no more thought needs to go into it, because he knows what he will be sharing with the world tomorrow. This takes discipline no doubt, but it can be done, we just need to decide.

There are many in the world who go through difficult times, and I am not dismissing these difficulties, I am saying that you choose to see yourself as a victim or as someone who will take ownership of your difficulties and make them better, in whatever way you can. If we think of ourselves as victims and wait for someone else to come along and save us, this does us a disservice to our own abilities.

The future you is capable of extraordinary things, if you decide that you can and work on fulfilling that belief every single day. You are your own saviour. Your circumstances, though challenging, can mould and awaken the greatness in you, if you believe it is possible and live up to that belief every day.

What Change Do You Seek To Make?

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Often in a capitalist culture we focus on one metric, the output. Any other effects of the work done are therefore treated as side effects. But really the impact of what we do, make or produce are all effects, there are no side effects. Creating mobile phones, for example. The company will focus on how many can be made in any given timeframe. The impact on the environment, the impact on the quality of life for those making the parts for the mobile phones and the impact on those who are using mobile phones are all effects. When we focus solely on the output we miss, or ignore, the other effects of what we do.

It is better, I think, to focus on creating value. This then brings quality into the equation. The quality of the impact on the environment, the quality of life for those making the product, the quality of life for those using the product, etc. The quality and the quantity must be balanced in order to create value. And quality can be quantified as can quantity, it is just easier to see the impact of quality in the long term and less so in the short term.

This then begs the question, what value do you seek to give? If you want people to collaborate you would focus on applications and tools to connect people effectively. If you want to focus on accessibility you would ensure those with disabilities could access the thing you are making. And on it goes. Being clear on what you intend to do, who it is for and why you are doing it allows for quality to matter, and once the quality is in place, the quantity will take care of itself.

But first ask yourself, what change do you seek to make?

Working With Your Values

Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

When I was around 19 years old I got a free razor through the post from a well known company. It was the kind with interchangeable heads with three blades. I appreciated it and have been using similar razors from this company since. I got stuck into using what I had always used and buying replacement heads as needed.

More recently the cost of the replacement heads and the amount of plastic waste from them started to bother me. So, I took the plunge and bought an old style razor with metal razor blades that last a long time and require no plastic. This felt closer to my values of not spending money I didn’t have to spend and thinking in a more environmentally friendly manner.

As I got used to the new razor I cut myself a fair bit, as it takes skill to use this type of razor, but it felt worth it. Living my values is important to me. I now use the razor without cutting myself as I spent the time learning the skill of using this type of razor well. Sometimes you have to stop doing what you have always done and follow your values, even though it will take you out of your comfort zone and give you challenges to overcome. This applies to work as well as life in general. Work with your values and live by then too.

Be Happier At Work

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Often we wish we were doing something else for a job. Often we settle for something we are good at or something that was available as a way to earn money and pay our bills. We give our time and we get money. This rarely makes us feel fulfilled. Therefore we day dream of a better job but do nothing to get said job.

If we do end up getting said job, then it may not be what we thought it was. The grass is not always greener as they say. There is another way to think about it. You could think of the work you currently do as a craft. If you were to try to make your current job your craft, to take care and pay attention to align how you do your job with your values and what is important to you. Then your passion for your job will increase over time. Opportunities that you hadn’t seen will appear and you will spend time making a difference not exchanging your time for money.

Opportunities are always there, but we have to adjust our minds to see them and we have to do the work to create the conditions for the opportunities to appear. Remember, we see the world not as it is but as we are.

Give Yourself Permission

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

For a long time I have struggled with achieving the same levels of success as my peers. I have questioned whether there is something wrong with me or if everyone else is just better than me and then I had a revelation. I had this revelation a few weeks ago, but it felt like just a theory and, consequently, I did not apply it to my life straight away. The revelation was that I can give myself permission to thrive.

This might sound silly or somewhat obvious, but I have grown up with others doing things for me a lot of the time. My parents took such good care of me I barely had to struggle or strive for anything. I benefited from the privilege of being white and middle class too. All this meant that when I hit the real world I subconsciously expected things to carry on as easily as they have always done, but they didn’t. Consequently, I felt average and mediocre.

What I needed to do was give myself permission to take ownership of my life, my health and my work. When I have been in leadership positions I have worked well in these roles and been a decent servant leader, but when I thought about describing myself in this way it felt disingenuous. The core of my realisation is that when others asked me to step into these roles I thrived and rather than waiting for others to give me permission, I can simply give myself permission.

This became empowering, where before I felt rather disempowered. Weirdly, for the first time I felt like I could take ownership of my life, fully and wholeheartedly, and you can too. Give yourself permission; own your life and you can thrive.

Purpose Vs Mindfulness

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

To have a purpose is to have a goal to work towards. It is essentially something we ‘do’. To be mindful it is less about ‘doing’ and more about ‘being’. In a sense ‘doing’ is a more Western approach to life and ‘being’ is a more Eastern approach to life. Depending on where your cultural reference points are you might feel that these are polar opposites.

In fact they are intertwined. You cannot ‘do’ well unless you are present in the moment and you cannot ‘be’ in the moment without a purpose for doing so. They feed each other like Yin and Yang. To separate them would end up causing confusion and frustration and you would not be able to ‘do’ or ‘be’ particularly well.

To be purposeful mindfully or be mindful on purpose are not easy things to do, but once we recognise the interconnected nature of the two elements we can work towards it.

The Benefits of Generosity

Happiness, Health, Leadership, Relationships, The Pathway To Fulfilment

The other day I saw six or seven pigeons surrounding a slice of white bread that someone had left on the floor. They were all eating as much as they could as quickly as they could. Then one of them took a dislike to the pigeon next to it and started chasing it around. Perhaps it felt the other pigeon was eating its bit of bread, who knows, but for a good 30 seconds this pigeon chased the other around. Meanwhile, all of the other pigeons kept on eating. This reminded me of how our lizard brains can do us a disservice in contemporary life.

The lizard brain is in charge of fear, anger, revenge and reproduction. It is the early part of our brains that evolved which kept us safe from saber tooth tigers and from being kicked out of the tribe. It is why we survived as a species in our evolutionary early days. This served us well back then but it can ruin our lives today. It is largely the cause of stress, ill health and broken relationships. Even when we have a good life, objectively speaking, the lizard brain can take us away from the good things we have.

The whole time the pigeon was chasing the other pigeon it was missing out on the food that was lying on the floor ready to be eaten. There was more than enough food to go around, but fear that the other pigeon might eat their food turned to anger, which turned to revenge causing a pigeon chase around a car park.

If the pigeons were able to talk to each other and they had the capacity to have empathy, compassion or generosity, then they could have all happily shared the meal. The stress level would have been lower, and their relationships, pigeon to pigeon, would have been supportive, loving and generous. This is how we live good lives. We have good relationships, we are generous and we share what we have with those who need what we have.

The next time you see a homeless person on the street begging for money don’t automatically think, ‘why should I give them my money, they will only spend it on alcohol.’ Perhaps they haven’t eaten for two days and they need money for food, perhaps they need an extra £1 to pay for a hostel to have a comfy bed and shelter for the night.

They may have slept outside in the cold and rain for a week and are on death’s door and some change from us will save their life. And when you give them some change look them in the eye, smile at them and wish them well, because 95% of people that walked past them that day did not even acknowledge their existence. Be the 5% that cares and see their humanity.

Program Yourself To Thrive

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I was in a taxi on the way to work the other day and while we were stopped at the traffic lights I saw a little blue flower growing out of a crack in the tarmac path. It had no business being there but there it was anyway doing its best to survive and thrive. It got me thinking about the way nature strives to live and grow all of the time, as if it is programmed to thrive anywhere it finds itself.

Often we talk about needing the right resources or the right conditions before trying something new. We overthink new ventures and often talk ourselves out of them. If we were to take examples from nature and aim to thrive no matter the conditions, then we would do well in life. We would take every opportunity with both hands and just get on with it.

Thriving is not about the conditions we have but the mindset that we have. To be excited about a new challenge and to have the courage to give it a go and see what happens, while also applying our skills and common sense to bend our path towards success. We can program ourselves to thrive by the thoughts we have and how we explain both and bad situations to ourselves.

Be like the little blue flower.

Finding Meaning Through Spirituality

Happiness, Success

What we often lack is meaning and purpose in life. With so many choices that we can make and so many interests and the interests of others pulling us in different directions we can make bad choices with big consequences. The benefit of spirituality is that it gives us structure, boundaries and of course both purpose and meaning, without formalised rules to follow. Without a guide that comes from a spiritual tradition we look for structure, purpose and meaning wherever we can find it.

This is why people join groups, whether it be a gang, supporting a football team or a religion. In any group that we join in order to feel like we belong, the rules and ethics are subscribed, they are the things we adopt in order to be accepted into the group. By and large there is no problem with this, as this is the way social beings live. We accept the laws in the country we live in because we want to live there. Others will accept the teachings of a religion in order to worship in a particular religious building. I advocate for joining a church or mosque, synagogue or temple because the usual end result is that good morals and ethics become central to life. 

However, formalised religion is not for everyone. Some wish to choose the rules and practices that they live by, which is a good way to live, as long as you have the ability to decipher what is wisdom and what is propaganda. There are many self proclaimed teachers of truth out there in the wonderful world of the internet.

Anyone can start a YouTube channel and start sharing their thoughts. Some reach a level of popularity and fame that suggests that they may know what they are talking about, people like Russel Brand and Jordan Peterson, who incidentally divide opinion due to their strong views. The rule of thumb when it comes to taking on the teachings of others is to ask yourself if following their advice is making you happier and more fulfilled. If it works then keep listening. if it doesn’t move on.

Walking A Spiritual Path

Happiness, Health, Success

When you are on a spiritual path you are kind of on two journeys at the same time. In one we look to improve ourselves and become better people and in the other we look to improve the world around us and try to make it a better world. In his book Soul Boom, Rainn Wilson describes these like Kung Fu and Star Trek. The TV series Kung Fu represents an individual spiritual journey of self discovery, self discipline and finding meaning within. The original TV series Star Trek represents a better society where there is equality and equity, where an interracial kiss is normal and where meaning is found in serving the greater good.

In his book, Rainn Wilson writes, “What good is a spiritual path that only enriches our own inner peace while hundreds of millions go hungry and conversely how do we sustainably serve those millions if our hearts are hard, cold and filled with selfish ego or materialistic motives. How can there be peace without justice? There is an ongoing dance, a conversation between two moral paths that lie ahead of us. We seek personal enlightenment so that we can serve more, have an outward orientation and help create a better world. And when we undertake this service we are in turn internally awakened and fulfilled to an even greater degree.” [Rainn Wilson, Soul Boom – Scribed from a YouTube interview with Rich Roll where the passage was read out]


Rainn Wilson sees this as a kind of Yin Yang relationship, that each feeds into the other and requires the other. There is no better world without better people and no better people without a better world. As spiritual seekers we can take the best of the worlds religious faiths that speak to our individual morals, ethics and sense of how the universe works and make them our own, but we have to be prepared to walk the spiritual path of self awareness, self betterment and self wisdom, while we also help others around us who are walking their own paths, with their own challenges.

I wrote a poem some time ago called Spiritual Warrior and I feel that this is what walking a spiritual path is like. It takes courage to look at the inner depths of yourself and to try and mould yourself into a more enlightened person. The image of Siddhartha Gautama sitting under the Bodhi tree meditating, having decided not to move from that spot until he became enlightened, comes to mind. As the story goes, as Siddhartha Gautama began his seated quest, the demon Mara sent all of his monsters to tempt and torment him, but they had no effect and when he opened his eyes he was enlightened and became the Buddha. We do not have real demons tormenting us, but we have thoughts, memories and mental conditions that can make it difficult to walk the spiritual path, but, when we walk together, we are the Yin to each other’s Yang.

How To Be Productive

Achieving Goals, Success

Productivity is something I have struggled with in my professional life. Having Fibromyalgia means that you have less energy resources to hustle throughout the day. So I’ve tried to work smarter not harder and have started to find some traction. There are two key lessons that I have learned which I would like to share with you today.

Lesson 1: Just do it

I am a great planner and not a great doer. I spend time planning to do the work later and end up with too much to do and not enough time. I am learning to do tasks as they arrive without planning when to do them in the future. This gives me room to plan other tasks that have deadlines and defined start times, like calling a customer when they are available. Plan what needs to be planned and get the other things done as soon as they arrive.

Lesson 2: Ship it!

This lesson comes from the great Seth Godin. His advice is to not spend time wondering if the work is good enough or if it should be sent off, or ‘shipped’, but instead to ‘ship it’ as soon as it is completed and move onto the next thing. The thing to do is not to be too attached to the outcome. You do the work to the best of your ability and send it off, submit it or share it. This frees up head space and time to do more of your work.

The Emptiness Of Compassion

Happiness, Health, Relationships

When we think of compassion we think of sympathising with those who are suffering in some way. This relationship with the person who is suffering is one with a them and a me, which has an innate division. In Buddhism compassion is very important, as is the concept of emptiness, which is essentially that all things are empty of labels, characteristics and preferences, to put it simply.

Compassion, in its best form, is one where there is no division between yourself and others; there is an innate unity. This would mean that the compassion you feel is for the suffering of another living being and the wish to end this suffering, because you see no difference between them and you. This is the kind of compassion I would advocate for, the kind that has no divisions, only an understanding of the suffering of others and the wish to end it.

The Wisdom of Humility

Happiness, Success

In Buddhism there are levels of wisdom like glasses that help you see clearer and clearer until you are enlightened. It got me thinking about the way we sometimes cling onto our current level of understanding of something and avoid learning more because it might undermine our current thoughts on whatever it is.

This is the Ego getting in the way of wisdom. The Ego does not want to be proven wrong, as this would undermine it’s sense of self importance. As strong as the Ego may appear to be it is fragile. When another person or the world undeniably proves the Ego wrong it hurts and it can feel a little broken. The antidote to this is humility, the act of asking what the correct thing is in order to learn and grow. It is being open to being wrong.

The core belief, therefore, has to be that learning is life long and we don’t know all the answers all the time. We become students of life for life. Humility is not weakness, it is a strength, which seems contradictory to what our culture tells us. The problem with culture here is that it promises to reward the Ego with money, success and material things. We may even receive these things, but they only feed an unquenchable thirst for more of the same, and when we don’t receive them our Ego hurts.

It is better to be humble, as this develops resilience to the wins and losses of life and on balance leaves us happier.

Overcoming Inner Battles

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I’ve been listening to the audiobook of The War of Art by Steven Pressfield on YouTube this week and it cuts deep into all the excuses and rationalisations that we come up with to avoid doing the new ventures or starting anything that will likely be good for us, but would also require change. It brings you face to face with what he calls the Resistance. This is the force that talks you out of beginning anything new. It is the writer’s block and the procrastination monster.

To do battle with the Resistance and do that which our brains try to talk us out of is a courageous act. To fight back and do the thing you are scared to do is to live a life of bravery. It reminds me of a quote from Teddy Roosevelt often quoted by Brene Brown and this is how I want to try and live my life.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

My New Life Manifesto

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

For a while now I’ve been dancing around ideas on self improvement and how to live well and not being fully committed or being the best version of myself. I think this is partly because fully owning my life feels like a big responsibility and can seem scary at times. It’s easier to stick with habits and go on autopilot through life. The trouble with that is that you can end up unhealthy, unhappy and underwhelmed by life. At 41 I felt it was time I really tried to cut the bullshit and take ownership of my life and my health.

I have Fibromyalgia, which can be a debilitating condition leaving me exhausted and in pain in my muscles and joints most of the time. Having the will and the energy to do anything can be a challenge. But knowing how to improve my fibro symptoms and not doing it is something I’m not prepared to do anymore. So, I have written a kind of life manifesto. I’ve tried writing this kind of thing before, but they have either been unhelpful or I just haven’t committed to them. As they say, I hope this time it will be different.

So, here it is. I am a very visual person so I have gone all graphic designy to make it appealing and accessible for me. I’ve used the word ‘better’ to express doing each thing in a wiser, more effective way than I have in the past. I’ve started at the top with my Why, my Purpose; to THRIVE SO THAT OTHERS MAY THRIVE.

MIND

I know that one’s attitude in any given situation is a choice, as expressed by Viktor E. Frankl in his great book Man’s Search For Meaning, and one’s attitude shapes everything we experience. Mindset has a similar impact and a growth mindset is better than a fixed mindset, the choice of mindset is for each of us to make. However, we also need actions, not just intentions. It is important to have good habits, things we do daily to improve our lives and the lives of others.

BODY

One of the things I have learned about physical illness is that diet plays a big role in causing and worsening any illness. This is a change that I have struggled to make, as I keep bouncing back to what I habitually eat. If I am going to be able to live my life and serve people, I need to make this change. Physical strength is something that many of us wish for, to be strong and look good. Having Fibromyalgia my muscles often feel weak and I am sometimes not able to do tasks which others may find easy. This is something I aim to change. Some of you may have a good understanding of what Chi is, others may have only heard it in reference to Tai Chi. Chi is the life energy that flows through all living things, in accordance with Traditional Chinese Medicine, and for us to be healthy we need our Chi to flow well, we need to have an abundance of it and for it to be balanced around the body. Better Chi means better flow, quantity and balance. Without this we get sick.

SPIRIT

I am a student of theology, not in the sense of getting a qualification, but in the sense of spending my time reading about and understanding the theology of different religions around the world. Three key themes that stand out to me that will help me fulfil my Purpose and live a good life are Connection, Wisdom and Altruism. The first includes connection to others and to the universe as a whole, and everything in between. If we are wise we will live well, this is a given, and to be altruistic means to lift others up, to help them to thrive.

I hope that this Life Manifesto helps me to thrive in order to help others to thrive too. I also hope that you find this inspirational and you write your own Life Manifesto, or feel free to steal mine. I wish for you a blessed and happy life my friend.