Tag: 2023 Goals

Give Yourself Permission

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

For a long time I have struggled with achieving the same levels of success as my peers. I have questioned whether there is something wrong with me or if everyone else is just better than me and then I had a revelation. I had this revelation a few weeks ago, but it felt like just a theory and, consequently, I did not apply it to my life straight away. The revelation was that I can give myself permission to thrive.

This might sound silly or somewhat obvious, but I have grown up with others doing things for me a lot of the time. My parents took such good care of me I barely had to struggle or strive for anything. I benefited from the privilege of being white and middle class too. All this meant that when I hit the real world I subconsciously expected things to carry on as easily as they have always done, but they didn’t. Consequently, I felt average and mediocre.

What I needed to do was give myself permission to take ownership of my life, my health and my work. When I have been in leadership positions I have worked well in these roles and been a decent servant leader, but when I thought about describing myself in this way it felt disingenuous. The core of my realisation is that when others asked me to step into these roles I thrived and rather than waiting for others to give me permission, I can simply give myself permission.

This became empowering, where before I felt rather disempowered. Weirdly, for the first time I felt like I could take ownership of my life, fully and wholeheartedly, and you can too. Give yourself permission; own your life and you can thrive.

Overcoming Inner Battles

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I’ve been listening to the audiobook of The War of Art by Steven Pressfield on YouTube this week and it cuts deep into all the excuses and rationalisations that we come up with to avoid doing the new ventures or starting anything that will likely be good for us, but would also require change. It brings you face to face with what he calls the Resistance. This is the force that talks you out of beginning anything new. It is the writer’s block and the procrastination monster.

To do battle with the Resistance and do that which our brains try to talk us out of is a courageous act. To fight back and do the thing you are scared to do is to live a life of bravery. It reminds me of a quote from Teddy Roosevelt often quoted by Brene Brown and this is how I want to try and live my life.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

Changing Your Habits

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

We often feel that making a change in our lives, whether it be a change in diet, to exercise more or working on our craft, the change often seems too big so we don’t do it, or we start and don’t continue. I have procrastinated so many times when it comes to making beneficial changes but I’m trying a new strategy, to make micro changes in my habits.

When a plane sets off to fly long distance a small change in direction can become a big change in where the plane ends up. Micro changes in habits work the same way. The trick is to make a small change, so it doesn’t seem so scary, and be consistent with it, so it becomes the new normal.

I’ve had a lot to deal with personally over the past few months and I have not been posting on this blog. I’ve also been procrastinating and prioritising other things. I’ve decided to make a small change and commit to posting once a week on a Monday morning. A small change with a big difference, as blogging helps me as much as it helps my readers.

I’m also cutting down on the amount of caffeine I intake each day. I’m limiting it to one cup of tea a day. I usually have two or three when I am at work. A small change hopefully with a positive outcome, as caffeine makes the pain from my fibromyalgia worse. You can make small changes too, the result of which can be very beneficial, even life changing, depending on the change you make.

Look for a small change that you can make and give it a try, consistently. You might surprise yourself at how successful you are.

Setting Goals For 2023

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

It is that time of year again when we make New Year Resolutions with an underlying suspicion that we may not keep them going beyond January, but we convince ourselves that this year it will be different. This may be a conical view, but it is often our experience.

Part of the problem is that we set general goals like losing weight, which we are not necessarily invested in and there is no specific purpose behind them. Another part of the problem is that we want a quick fix to fix our lives, something easy and quick to do that will solve all of our problems. This will never work, because there are no quick fixes. The issue is that we do not want to commit our time to improve our lives. We want something we can do for 5 minutes a day or something quick at the weekend.

In order to improve your life you must fix your life. This must be a long term commitment. For example, I have lower back pain for which I have been to see a physio. Their advice was to complete daily exercises to strengthen my core muscles, which would alleviate my back pain. I did it for a week every morning and my back pain began to improve. I then missed a couple of days and my back got bad again. So, if I want a pain free back I need to complete these core strengthening exercises every day for the long term, with no missed days. It is the same for all areas of our lives that we want to improve.

This is how life works. We need to stop making New Year Resolutions and start making life commitments. These commitments should be decided and reviewed after a long period, say every 3 to 6 months. Then adjust or pivot where needed. This is so we consciously understand that this is a life change and that we are committed to it.

In order to have a life we are happy in we need to invest in a life that creates wellbeing and joy. This takes daily commitment. We also need a purpose for the life changes we make otherwise the changes will be as effective as trying to lose weight for no serious reason. With purpose and commitment your life will change for the better.