Tag: Bad Habits

The Decisions We Make

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Relationships, Success

The other evening, I was getting ready for bed and was about to wash my face and brush my teeth when in the bathroom I saw a bee sat on the windowsil. My first reaction was fear, and my mind started racing with imaginings of the bee stinging me. At this point, I was presented with a choice: be scared or be curious.

I chose the latter and moved in closer to have a look at the bee. It was alive, and it seemed to be sleeping. I noticed it was a honeybee, and my mind became filled with compassion. The bee must have been flying around all day looking for pollen to make honey and was exhausted. I left the bee there to rest, and in the morning, I opened the window, and after a while, it woke up and flew out to head home.

The point is that when we are faced with making a decision we can decide what to do based on fear, anger and other negative states, or we can make it based on curiosity, empathy and other positive states. The choice before we make the decision is whether we react or respond to circumstances. Do we step back or attack, or do we lean forward or empathise? Whichever we choose can become a habit, so choose carefully.

Choose a Better Response

Happiness, Health, Relationships, Success

I often see people swiping their arms at flies buzzing around them, which is usually accompanied by comments such as “damn fly” or “irritating fly.” I have increasingly been of the opinion that being annoyed by a fly is a choice.

This comes from the perspective that life and the world are not as they are but how we are. We interpret the events that go on around us based on the meaning we put on them. This is not to negate verifiable facts that exist independent of interpretation. What I mean is whether we see something as good or bad, intimidating or joyous.

If it is true that we put such meaning on the events that we experience, then we choose to see a fly as irritating. We can, if we choose to, say hi to the fly and thank them for their visit, for example. They can not harm us and will usually fly away shortly after they fly near to us. If we apply this idea to the rest of our lives, there are many situations where we can choose a better response rather than reacting with negative emotions.

Turn Towards The Light

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

A shadow is an absence of light. When we focus on what is not working in our lives and all of the negative things it is like we are looking at a shadow. If we change our perspective and turn towards the light our lives look very different.

We can choose what we focus on, if we try. It may require building new habits and letting old habits whither, but it is worth it. We are what we repeatedly do, so change what you do and you will feel the benefit. However, in order for the new habits to stick we have to believe that we are the kind of person who does those things.

For example, you are not quitting smoking you are someone who does not smoke. Turn your attention towards what you want, towards the light, and your life will get better.

Changing Your Habits

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

We often feel that making a change in our lives, whether it be a change in diet, to exercise more or working on our craft, the change often seems too big so we don’t do it, or we start and don’t continue. I have procrastinated so many times when it comes to making beneficial changes but I’m trying a new strategy, to make micro changes in my habits.

When a plane sets off to fly long distance a small change in direction can become a big change in where the plane ends up. Micro changes in habits work the same way. The trick is to make a small change, so it doesn’t seem so scary, and be consistent with it, so it becomes the new normal.

I’ve had a lot to deal with personally over the past few months and I have not been posting on this blog. I’ve also been procrastinating and prioritising other things. I’ve decided to make a small change and commit to posting once a week on a Monday morning. A small change with a big difference, as blogging helps me as much as it helps my readers.

I’m also cutting down on the amount of caffeine I intake each day. I’m limiting it to one cup of tea a day. I usually have two or three when I am at work. A small change hopefully with a positive outcome, as caffeine makes the pain from my fibromyalgia worse. You can make small changes too, the result of which can be very beneficial, even life changing, depending on the change you make.

Look for a small change that you can make and give it a try, consistently. You might surprise yourself at how successful you are.

Don’t Rely On Habits

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

As adults a large percentage of our thoughts and actions each day are automatic. They are habits programmed in and controlled by our subconscious, so we can use our conscious mind for any unique situations that appear in our lives.

These programmed habits are useful for survival, but they often don’t serve us in the modern world, depending on our habits. The habits we develop are often a combination of things to make life easier, influences from advertising and the media and experiences we had as children. If we do not take control of our habits they will run our lives haphazardly and we will rarely feel fulfilled.

We need to live more mindfully, more consciously. To choose what we do in each moment, and when a programmed habits pops up we can analyse it and see if it is serving us. If it is not, then we can replace it with a better habit, thought or intention. Mastering our habits will help us master our minds.

Looking The Wrong Way

Happiness, Health

Water is evaporated from the oceans of the world and the water vapour becomes clouds. The clouds rain on the hills. The rain become rivers and the river make their way to the ocean. This, as we learned in school, is the water cycle.

When we look at a cloud we rarely think of the ocean. We think of the rain that is about to fall on us that will either ruin our day or water our garden, depending on how you look at it. Likewise, we don’t often think about the causes of the things that happen in our lives. We focus on the effects of what happens.

A lot of what happens in life are a result of our habits, our diet, whether we exercise, the way we think about things and how we react to things. All based on our habits. We have patterns of behaviour that mean we have similar experiences again and again in life, due to our habits.

The point is that we are looking at the rain and we should be looking at the ocean.