Tag: Being Human

The Benefits of Generosity

Happiness, Health, Leadership, Relationships, The Pathway To Fulfilment

The other day I saw six or seven pigeons surrounding a slice of white bread that someone had left on the floor. They were all eating as much as they could as quickly as they could. Then one of them took a dislike to the pigeon next to it and started chasing it around. Perhaps it felt the other pigeon was eating its bit of bread, who knows, but for a good 30 seconds this pigeon chased the other around. Meanwhile, all of the other pigeons kept on eating. This reminded me of how our lizard brains can do us a disservice in contemporary life.

The lizard brain is in charge of fear, anger, revenge and reproduction. It is the early part of our brains that evolved which kept us safe from saber tooth tigers and from being kicked out of the tribe. It is why we survived as a species in our evolutionary early days. This served us well back then but it can ruin our lives today. It is largely the cause of stress, ill health and broken relationships. Even when we have a good life, objectively speaking, the lizard brain can take us away from the good things we have.

The whole time the pigeon was chasing the other pigeon it was missing out on the food that was lying on the floor ready to be eaten. There was more than enough food to go around, but fear that the other pigeon might eat their food turned to anger, which turned to revenge causing a pigeon chase around a car park.

If the pigeons were able to talk to each other and they had the capacity to have empathy, compassion or generosity, then they could have all happily shared the meal. The stress level would have been lower, and their relationships, pigeon to pigeon, would have been supportive, loving and generous. This is how we live good lives. We have good relationships, we are generous and we share what we have with those who need what we have.

The next time you see a homeless person on the street begging for money don’t automatically think, ‘why should I give them my money, they will only spend it on alcohol.’ Perhaps they haven’t eaten for two days and they need money for food, perhaps they need an extra £1 to pay for a hostel to have a comfy bed and shelter for the night.

They may have slept outside in the cold and rain for a week and are on death’s door and some change from us will save their life. And when you give them some change look them in the eye, smile at them and wish them well, because 95% of people that walked past them that day did not even acknowledge their existence. Be the 5% that cares and see their humanity.

You Are Not Broken

Happiness, Health, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Often when we have experienced trauma we feel broken, we call ourselves broken and sometimes other use this word to describe us. I would like to respectfully disagree. No one is broken.

Trauma damages our sense of well-being and we can feel as if we will never feel well again, but this is not true. There is always a path back to the light of wholeness. We may need support from the people around us and the resources we have access to, like well chosen books.

It may take time, sometimes it can take years, but the things missing that took away your wholeness can be brought back into your lives and wholeness will be possible again. You are never alone and you are not broken. You are a beautifully unique human being that has a unique that only you can bring to the world. I for one am happy you are sharing this life long adventure we us.

Seeing Others Clearly

Happiness, Relationships, The Pathway To Fulfilment

When we go to the shop and we go to the till we often think of the person behind the till as just a Shop Assistant and our label of them stops there. When we see an irritating person we often think of them only in this way. The labels we use for people can often become all that we see of them.

When we stop at the label we put onto the person we are depriving them of their full humanity in our eyes and we do the same to ourselves. If you were to see a Shop Assistant as a full human being with a life outside of work, a family, hobbies and a social life then you end up treating them differently.

Of course we know that each person has these things, but we can become lazy in our labelling of the people we interact with. Labels can become prejudices that mean we see someone as a ‘type’ of person, and we put people into boxes, as if the complexity of a human life can be simplified so neatly.

When we acknowledge a person’s full humanity we remove boundaries and conflicts between us and them. We see ourselves in them and we naturally feel compassion and empathy for them. This is a powerful practice that will bring blessings into your life.

Your Lifelong Journey

The Pathway To Fulfilment

The day before yesterday it snowed where I live and for a few hours everything was white. Then the snow turned to rain and washed away the snowy scene. The snow flakes were big and fluffy and fell through the air with a kind of grace.

Each snowflake was made from a drop of water that passed through streams of air, some of which began to freeze the water into crystals. As the drop of water passed through the atmosphere it began to freeze more and more and the water formed larger and larger crystals, its path through the ever changing atmosphere was unique, caused a unique crystal pattern to form. It is the path that the snowflake takes that determines its shape and size.

We are much like snow flakes. We all pass through the atmosphere of life, but we each have our own journey to take, growing as we travel. The experiences we have shape who we are and how we behave in the world. They say that every snowflake is unique and the same can be said of each human life. We each have experiences and memories, knowledge and wisdom, intentions and goals.

Your life is an unchartered journey through wonder and danger alike. You may wish to follow in the footsteps of those greater than you feel you are, but what you will learn and what you will do along the way is uniquely yours.

The Power Of Being Courteous

Happiness, Success

People usually respond to you in the manner in which you address them. Courtesy can diffuse arguments and can uplift someone who is having a bad day. It has been said that courtesy is the lubrication that makes a business successful. I would say that it is the lubrication that makes society function, along with a number of other things.

So, open doors for people, smile and say good morning. If you’re getting a coffee get one for your colleague, friend or partner. There are thousands of opportunities every day to be courteous and considerate.

There are also people in our work places that often go unnoticed; the cleaners, the security guards, etc. Often we say good morning, but rarely stay for a chat. It means a lot to people if you see them and treat them as a human being.

A two minute chat will not disrupt your day and it could improve someone else’s day, and your own. Have time for people and talk about their lives, their problems and their aspirations. Put you mobile phone away and talk to people and you will be happier as a result.

Be Your Better Self

Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

In Mahayana Buddhism, the focus is on becoming a Bodhisattva, someone who delays attaining Nirvana, or enlightenment, in order to help others to attain it first. Mahayana means ‘The Great Vehicle.” In other words no one is left behind, the vehicle that gets us to enlightenment is big enough for everyone.

This way of thinking about life opens lots of possibilities to help other people less fortunate than ourselves. It allows us to see others as equal to ourselves, and it reduces the Ego, which can tell us that we deserve expensive things when there are those who don’t even have a home.

To be a Bodhisattva is to devote one’s life to serving others and helping them attain enlightenment. I am not saying that you should drop everything, convert to Buddhism and take the Bodhisattva vows. What I am saying is that when we serve others, when we aim to lift them up and help them shine, we consequently live happier lives.

What it means to be human is live in community where everyone has a place and everyone has the chance to thrive. If we try to live this way in the various communities that we are a part of, then we will slowly change the people we are connected to for the better. We will help to change the world for the better. Small steps make big change over time.