“Happiness has to do with your mindset, not with outside circumstance.”
― Steve Marabol
Our Beliefs
One of the key things to figure out when we are aiming to get a deep knowledge and understanding of ourselves is our beliefs. Often our beliefs are subconscious, yet they will dictate our thoughts, speech and actions repeatedly. Our beliefs play a major role in our thinking and how we react to people and situations and how we handle stressful times; do we find the positive or do we crumble? There are beliefs that we have which are very beneficial, but there are also limiting beliefs that get in the way of us progressing and being happy in life.
Strategies To Change Our Beliefs
It is important to figure out what our limiting beliefs are, so we can replace them with beliefs that will help us to thrive. There are techniques employed by Performance Coaches that get deep into our psyche and make constructive changes. For example, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). There is also Byron Katie’s The Work, which is on my list of things to research.
It can also be beneficial to keep a journal, to write about the good and the bad each day, what we plan to do with the day and what we have learned at the end of each day. To write down our thoughts and feelings, so we can become familiar with our thought patterns, to figure out the limiting beliefs from the empowering ones.
For example, I have limiting beliefs around failure, which can lead me to assume I will fail, that in turn can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is unless the thoughts are spotted and corrected when they pop up. If corrected enough these thoughts stop showing up as much, and can even disappear all together. This something I am working on at the moment.
We are capable of the things we believe we can do, with hard work and many hours of practice, if we believe big. It is no different with changing our mental habits, it takes time to remove limiting beliefs at their root. Some are more deeply rooted than others. I would begin by writing a journal to get a sense of your thought processes, and to watch how you react to good and bad situations. It is also important to observe what we consider to be good and bad as well.
Fixed and Growth Mindset
Some see challenge as a prompt to try harder, where as some will think “why does this always happen to me?” The latter is from a fixed mindset, where things are fixed and not flexible; things are the way they are and we can do nothing to change them, or we are the way we are and there is nothing we can do the change ourselves. This is, of course, not true; our brains are very capable of change, they are changing all the time.
Developing a flexible growth mindset that sees adversity as an obstacle that can be navigated is a lot more beneficial. A fixed mindset will be full of limiting beliefs that create barriers where there are opportunities. For example, if our role at work begins to change, like suddenly having to work from home during a global pandemic, you can think about all the issues that you might face, or you can think about the new skills you will learn working remotely, and all the job opportunities this will open up for you in the future in other job roles.
Owning Our Own Thinking
If we are going to work at our best, live at our best and be happier and more successful, it begins with figuring out our limiting beliefs and replacing them with ones which fill our lives with potential, but as the title of Byron Katie’s website suggests, we have to do the work, no one will do it for us. So, take ownership of your own life’s journey and remold your thinking towards happiness and success, and you will start to live better and your level of fulfilment will rise to levels you may never have felt before.
Something To Think About…
What are the goals that you hope to achieve in life and what are the barriers you put in place that prevent you from starting on these goals? What are the beliefs behind the barriers? What beliefs would put you in a better position to achieve your goals, that you could replace the limiting beliefs with?
The Fullfilment Project 