There are many ways to ‘find yourself,’ not least the well worn concepts of going to spend time in an ashram or travelling the world, but often we discover at the end of these spiritual or physical journeys that we find ourselves back where we started. It is not the places we go to that cause us to find ourselves, but the experiences we have, the searching we undergo and the inward reflections that we have.
In truth, we can find ourselves right where we are. We do, however, need guidance, ironically the kind that you might in fact find in an ashram. If we do not have our own Guru, we can find wisdom in the writings of others, and processes like Ikigai, a Japanese method to find balance and purpose in life. As I have discussed in my last blog post, recommending a book on the subject of Ikigai, there are four areas to focus on in your life that interact in a Venn diagram layout that creates a centre, which is your Ikigai.
The top area of focus is What You Love, which is an enticing prospect, as doing what you love sounds like great advice, except, those who have rushed out and just done what they loved have often ended up as struggling artists or writers, with no financial plan, or steady income, but are prolific in their work, in the thing they love.
It is not that you should not do what you love, but it should be tempered with the other three areas of the Ikigai Venn diagram; What You Are Good At, What The World Needs and What You Can Get Paid For. Life is a complex meandering journey through strife and happiness, and just doing what you love will not always mean you will automatically live a fulfilling life. It needs to be balanced. Figuring out what you love is important, but the other aspects of Ikigai matter too.
For example, looking at what you can get paid for is important, because money allows you to do things and have things in life, money can be viewed as units of freedom, the more money you have the more freedom you have to do and have things. However, if you only think of yourself, in terms of what you love and what you can get paid for, this can mean others suffer so you can achieve personal goals. The amount of money we have does not equate to how happy we are, because we also need to have good, healthy relationships with other people too in order to be happy in life.
Figuring out what you love is a starting point, as is figuring out what the world needs, or what you are good at, or what you can get paid for. Trying to figure out what you were put on Earth to do is not straight forward, I recommend picking one of the areas of the Ikigai Venn diagram and start figuring out what that means to you and move around all four areas, and when you have a semblance of an answer for each area, then your Ikigai starts to take form and you are on your way to a fulfilling life.
This is, however, a life long pursuit; figuring out our life’s purpose can take a lifetime, and it will be different at different point in our life. So, don’t worry so much about having it all figured out. Start figuring it out and be open to the many, many possibilities that life has for us to explore and start exploring.
The Fullfilment Project 