Tag: Happiness

An ever winding road

Happiness

You have probably heard people talk about the paths we take through life, the journey of life, and the choices we make as we walk along our own paths. These kinds of metaphors help us deal with the many complexities and difficulties we each face on a daily basis. They help us visualise what our life might be and they help us put things into perspective. If we think about our past days and years as the ups and downs of the path that we have already walked, this will help us see more clearly where we are now. And when we begin to visualise where we are now, there will be a real mixture of stressful and joyful things that come to mind.

Right now you may feel as if you are carrying heavy burdens. You may have big responsibilities and pressures weighing you down. And just to add in another metaphor, these responsibilities and pressures could be seen as dark clouds that hang above you, but if you look carefully you will see gaps in these clouds where the blue sky beyond can be seen. We need to remember that the blue sky and the sun are always there (during the day) and the dark clouds that obscure them are just passing by.

Whatever troubles and burdens we have in our lives there is always one constant, we can choose how we see each of these clouds. A dark cloud can seem menacing because it blocks out the sun, but it is also full of water that nourishing all living things when it rains down on the world. When hard times come try to find ways to make yourself stronger through the struggle. Personal growth only happens through struggle and strife. Be like water and move with the challenges of life rather than resisting them and use them to find happiness so you can then find success in your life.

Gossip kills trust

Happiness, Leadership, Success

When we hear someone gossiping, whether we laugh along or even join in with the gossip, the trust we have for the person gossiping begins to erode. This is because we fear that they do the same about us behind our back.

Gossip kills trust and without trust it is less likely that others will cooperate with us. Both success and happiness are built on cooperation. Happiness is largely a result of the relationships we have with other people and relationships are built on trust too. Success is not something we can achieve completely alone, long term success certainly can’t be achieved this way. Let us create and maintain positive relationships and therefore a good life.

I’m not saying that you have to get on your high horse and tell others not to gossip, but not participating in gossip yourself will undoubtedly improve your relationships and therefore your happiness and success. Other people will start to notice that you don’t engage in gossip and they will trust you more. The greater the trust the greater the cooperation and the greater your happiness and success will be.

Read something amazing every day

Happiness, Success

I believe that success is closely linked to absorbing knowledge from the world around us. This often takes the form of unconsciously assimilating messages and information from the culture in which we live. This is a passive way of absorbing knowledge.

It is important to be aware of what is going on around us, but I think that if we are to become successful, or even happy, in our lives then we need to be more active about learning new things that are relevant to success in general and in the specific area that we want to succeed in. Knowledge and understanding is power.

I have a recommended reading list on my blog site of books I think would help you find both happiness and success. It is not an exhaustive list, but these are books that I have read and have benefited from the wisdom in their pages.

Exploring happiness and success 

Happiness, Success

Meaning in life invariably stems from the values we have accumulated from our past experience. And finding meaning is a key component in finding happiness, because without meaning it would be difficult to see the point of doing anything. Yet in our current society success and usefulness are prized over value and if we are to find our own happiness we need to start moving away from the tide of expectations imposed by society and walk our own path.

You may be wondering why I am saying such things given that this blog is in part about finding success, but the success that society preaches is not what I am talking about in this blog. I am not talking about success based on society’s narrow definition of it, I am talking about personal success based on the foundation of personal values and the cultivation of personal happiness. It seems to me that you cannot find personal success without finding this foundation first.

Finding happiness 

Happiness

Whatever your skills are, whether it is good listening, organising people, building things, making people laugh or being a good friend, whatever your skills are let them shine in the service of your fellow human beings, for it is through kindness and gratitude, collaboration and forgiveness that we can all find happiness and success. The happiness you bring to others will be multiplied in your own life. As many sages have said, the route to happiness is in trying to make others happy. Happiness is found in what you do and how you do it, it is not a destination; it is a way of life.

Context is everything 

Happiness

It is true that context is everything. When someone puts up their hand in a class room they are either asking permission to go to the toilet or asking a question. If the same person was in a church they might be raising their hand the show that they agree with what the preacher is saying or that it resonates with them. The physical action of raising the hand is the same, but they mean very different things, because of the situation the person is in and the meaning of raising their hand in that place.

Sometimes raising ones hand is an act of standing up for what you believe in, by showing that you agree with something or you are voting for something. The point I am making is that as we go about our lives we often judge others based on the context in our own heads, and we often don’t try to see things from someone else’s perspective or how this would apply to the situation.

This is the route of the saying ‘walking in someone else’s shoes.’ You could say that there are as many points of view as there are people in the world, and they all mean something to those who hold each view. We should respect this, but that doesn’t mean we have to agree with them. We should, however, begin with respect and make the effort to try and understand someone else’s view on things before wading in with our own self righteous point of view.

Walk Your Own Path

Happiness, Success

When I was twenty I received a shaving razor from a well known company free in the post, which was a savvy move on their part, as I’m still buying razor blades for it fifteen years later. This razor worked very well and has never given me any cause to think about buying one from another company. However, a few years ago I was doing my usual big shop in a local supermarket when I saw a fancy looking razor that had been reduced to half price. It was made by a rival company, it was white and it vibrated the blade of the razor to give a closer shave. Intrigued and encouraged by the low price, I bought it and gave it a try. It was no way near as good as the razor I had been using for years. The lesson here is not to be drawn in by low prices and the promises of better features that don’t actually improve your life, because they only superficially appear to do so.

It is very easy in our current society to be convinced to buy consumerist products simply by being told they are better than the last thing we were told to buy or to behave in a certain way that is deemed cool or popular because so many others are doing the same. If we are not careful we can start to sleepwalk through life, living based on borrowed thoughts and feelings, on assimilated beliefs, and we end up not following our own path. In this situation I believe rebelling and walking our own path will lead to a happier and more fulfilling life. This, however, is not easy to do. Firstly it takes courage to swim against the stream, and secondly you have to find your own path before you can walk down it. This means lots of mistakes and walks down unfamiliar paths. Walking your own path takes courage but also persistence and self compassion. Mistakes will be made, so go easy on yourself.

A Reflection on Resilience

Happiness, Success

Resilience is an essential character trait when it comes to happiness and success. It is the ability to treat knock-backs and disappointments as feedback, as opportunities to learn, which will result in both happiness and success. However, this can be a difficult mindset to engage in, because it feels more natural to react to knock-backs and disappointments with negativity, to treat them as negative feedback. This is due to the mental habits we have developed, the examples we have witnessed and the general assimilation of the narratives from the culture we have grown up in.

What we need to do is detach the negative from the feedback and disappointments, to try to look at it with a neutral mindset and try to tease out what can be constructive, so that we can move forward more positively. This, as with many things, requires practice. To a large degree we are working against all of the mental habits we have thus far embedded into the pathways of our brains. The good news is that if we repeatedly look for the feedback that we can use to make ourselves better, and as a result our careers and our relationships better, we will build resilience to cope with the disasters that life can sometimes drop on us. When we train our minds in this way we become ready for the tough times in life, but it has to be a daily practice otherwise when the disaster hits we will crumble.