Tag: Know Yourself

Focus On The How Not The Why

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

Life runs away from us backwards into our pasts, giving us the sense that we are being propelled forwards in time, when we think about it. But our speed is constant, which is why we don’t really feel it day to day. The thing to do is to pay attention, be mindful and enjoy the scenary. Time gives us no choice but to age, if we are lucky.

The grey and the wrinkles are gifts. They remind us how far we have come and that we are still here. That we still have choices of how we can live. The how is the most imprtant thing, more so than the why.

Figure out the how and the why will take care of itself.

Rhyming With Who You Are

Quick Thoughts

When we put ideas or thoughts out there into the world inevitably we get feedback from other people. Some think your ideas or thoughts are great, others will think they are not. Often we pin our self worth to what other people think of our ideas and thoughts. This is a mistake, it is giving away our power to others in the hope that they will validate our existence.

Social media is an extreme version of this. Every day people share their lives with followers and ‘friends’ hoping to get a like or a share as validation. What comes back is essentially feedback. If we listen to all of it, then we can become lost in the variety of ways in which other people think we should live. It becomes just noise, like the feedback when a microphone gets too close to the speaker it is linked to.

What we need to do is to provide our own feedback, and follow what is in our hearts. Our ideas and thoughts should rhyme with who we are. Then we will live a life that rhymes with who we are, and this will be a life well lived.

Knowing Yourself

Happiness, The Fullfilment Framework

Often it can be easy to become the things that those around us want us to be. With peer pressure, the pressure from modern culture to dress a certain way or act a certain way and the expectations of our parents all add to who we think we should be. However, this is not always who we actually are. If the version of ourselves that we present to the world is different from how we are in our own head, or in private, then something is wrong.


The problem is that if we live to other people’s expectations then we are never going to feel fulfilled, because all that we do will be for the benefit of others. To live life as your authentic self takes courage, because you will be judged by someone, maybe many, in your life. But if you do it, if you live as you with conviction then my friends you can become your best selves. Your achievements will then feel worth it.


When the way you live your life is aligned with your values and beliefs then your heart will feel full, contentment will permeate your thoughts and your levels of stress will be reduced. The thing to do is to get to know yourself, deeply.


Your Values


Your values are simply the things in life that you value. I know obvious right? What I mean is the things that you have strong feelings about. The things that stand out as important to you. Is it your family, your friends, is it justice or charity? Is it creativity or making money? None of these are good or bad, but they get to the essence of who you are.

I value creativity, stewardship, kindness and leadership very highly. I value my family highly too. I also value equality and respect for others. Figuring out what values are important to you will fill in part of the picture of who you authentically are.


Your Beliefs 


Beliefs are about how you think the world works and how you think people should behave. Beliefs include religious ideas as well as human ideas. It might be that God’s grace is real. It might be that karma is real. It might be that we should try to lift other up and not put them down. It might be that the winner takes it all and the loser dismissed.


There is a morality to figuring out our beliefs. They define what is right and wrong in your eyes. Figuring out what you believe about all sorts of things is really important. To question the beliefs that are given to you by others and decide if you too believe them, deep down in your heart, is very important too. We are all individuals and living life by someone else’s beliefs can be detrimental to us.

What Is Your Vocation

We all have jobs, generally speaking, but they are often not things that we have chosen because we deeply believe in the work we are doing. Often the job we have is simply a way of exchanging our time and energy for money to live on. If the work is in contrast to our values or beliefs then this can be a stressful situation. Some places of work are also focused on how much productivity they can squeeze out of us rather than helping us to reach our full potential.

Some of you will have things that you do outside of work, things that you have chosen to do. Things that you are passionate about. Things you are literally doing for free, because you love it. One thing I do is preaching in a Unitarian church. You might be a Scout leader, a volunteer in a charity shop, a volunteer in a food bank, a writer or a blogger. These are signs of the things that you could flourish at if you were doing it as you actual job. Your vocation can become your job if you have the courage to take a chance and go for it.

All of this is about figuring out who you are, how you work, what you deeply care about and living your best life, because you know your self. This is life’s mission, a personal journey such as this avoids a life that will feel wasted at it’s end, because you will be living on your terms, in your way, and not living your life through the expectations and peer pressure of others.

Go forth and discover your wonderful self and live according to your values and beliefs. Be courageous and live true to who you are.