The Law Of Influence

The third Law of Stratospheric Success for the book The Go-Giver is The Law of Influence.

“Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.”

The Go-Giver

We all know people that regularly put themselves first, who ensure that their interests are met before focusing on others. Generally we do not trust these people. We have a built-in sense of community and what makes a community work. Instinctively we do not trust selfish people. Instinctively we trust those who take care of others first.

We also know when someone is pretending to care about others. Genuine empathy and compassion build strong bonds. So if you put the interests of others first then you will be trusted and your opinion is more respected. Therefore, the more you put others first the more influence you have. A good leader is a servant leader. They serve those that they lead. If you do not have a good leader to follow then be a good leader yourself.

Working In Tandem

I was walking to work yesterday and an elderly couple passed me on a tandem bike and it occurred to me that this is a good metaphor for good leadership.

On a tandem bike the person at the front, the ‘Leader,’ directs the whole ‘team’ in a particular agreed direction and the person at the back, the ‘Worker,’ trusts that the direction they are going is right.

Also, both the Leader and the Worker put in the work to move the whole team forward. Each has their own role, the Leader’s job is to say I am going over there based on their vision and ask the Workers to follow them, but the Workers have to agree to get on the bike and put in the work to move everyone forward. In other words the Workers have to be enrolled in the direct the Leader wants to go.

The Leader has to have the trust of the Workers and, ideally, they should have values that are aligned with each other. We usually follow someone we trust and trust is based on shared values and strong relationships.

So, if you are a leader, make sure you have the back of everyone you lead and take the risk of leading; in other words you own failures and you give away praise to your team for the successes.

Recommended Book: Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t by Simon Sinek

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”
― Simon Sinek

Image source: Amazon UK

Buy this book here

Why Read This Book

If you are in a leadership position, or are aspiring to be. this is an essential book to read. Also, if you want to help improve the culture of your workplace or to understand what it means to be a great leader,this is the book for you.

Contents

Part 1: Our need to feel safe

  • Protection from above
  • Employees are people too
  • Belonging
  • Yeah, but . . .

Part 2: Powerful forces

  • When enough is enough
  • E.D.S.O.
  • The big C
  • Why we have leaders

Part 3: Reality

  • The courage to do the right thing
  • Snowmobile in the desert

Part 4: How we got here

  • The boom before the bust
  • The boomers all grown up

Part 5: The abstract challenge

  • Abstraction kills
  • Modern abstraction
  • Managing the abstraction
  • Imbalance

Part 6: Destructive abundance

  • Leadership lesson 1: So goes the culture, so goes the company
  • Leadership lesson 2: So goes the leader, so goes the culture
  • Leadership lesson 3: Integrity matters
  • Leadership lesson 4: Friends matter
  • Leadership lesson 5: Lead the people, not the numbers

Part 7: A society of addicts

  • At the center of all our problems is us
  • At any expense
  • The abstract generation

Part 8: Becoming a leader

  • Step 12
  • Shared struggle
  • We need more leaders.
  • Appendix: A Practical Guide to Leading Millenials
  • Acknowledgements
  • Notes
  • Bibliography
  • Index

Summary

This book primarily explains why it is the role of leadership in organisations to take care of those in their charge, rather than just being in charge. The concept of the circle of safety within an organisation that means we are protected from outside dangers like the effects of the stock market or new innovations, and pandemics, which in turn creates more trust, cooperation and innovation. When we feel like we do not have to protect ourselves from our bosses, who might sack us if our numbers are not as high as they want them to be, then the organisation collectively works harder to protect the company from outside dangers.

The book also talks about how inhuman our decisions can become the further away we get from the people they effect. We have evolved to keep clear social links with around 150 people, so big organisations can mean the leaders at the top do not personally know those at the bottom, and the book talks about how leaders can resolve this by creating the right culture in their organisation. There are five leadership lessons, backed up by examples of both how it can go wrong and how it can go right. And the book ends with advice on becoming a leader and a new additional chapter on leading Millenials.