How Do You Use Your Values?

You may have heard it said that love and fear are opposites and dismissed it as mumbo jumbo. However, there is brain science around the way that we operate depending on whether we live life where we have more fear or we have more love in it.

We usually live by the values that we hold, but if we are fearful debates become arguments and persuasion becomes threats being made. Just like alkaline and acid the PH of your life will be somewhere on a spectrum between fear and love.

In life, if you have problems with love you should reflect on how fear is impacting your life and if you have problems with fear you should reflect on the love you have in your life.

In order to live your values well you need to have a world view that comes more from love than fear. You should not try to get rid of fear completely, however, as a fearless life will be a short life. Reflect on how you are living your values and where you feel you are on the fear love spectrum and work on making positive adjustments.

Spread Some Love

Today is Valentine’s Day, a day when expectations are high and romantic gestures are a plenty. It is also an opportunity to be kind to each other. My 2 year old brought home a Valentine’s card for us from nursery and it said on the front ‘Thumb Body Love’s You.’

She had dipped her thumb in red paint and made lots of red thumb prints on the front, which the nursery staff had turned into ladybirds. It was an opportunity for our 2 year old to learn the importance of kindness.

Valentine’s Day is certainly a day for couples, but many people are single and find this annual date difficult. Many people find every day difficult. So, single or attached, use this day to be kinder to one another, everyone deserves kindness in their lives.

Responsible Social Media

“The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.”
– Coretta Scott King

Terror Shakes The World

The recent terrorist attack of the White Supremacist who killed 50 Muslim worshipers, including a 3 year old child, and injured many more in New Zealand, has brought into sharp focus the realities of extremist ideologies in the world today, and how easy they can be spread around the world through the use of social media. The Terrorist streamed the attack live on Facebook, which was then played by several news outlets, after which they apologised.

The impetus with social media is always to share content that we have had an emotional reaction to, whether we find it funny, inspirational or horrifying. The outpouring of love and unity that has galvanised the New Zealand public in support of the Muslim community in their country has created collective inspiration to respond to hate with love. This is a message that should always be shared and encouraged, especially on social media.

The Wrong Message

The Prophet Mohammad and every other prophet across the multitude of world religions said that we should love our neighbour as ourselves and respond to hate with love. This message should be shared on social media to encourage such behaviour in others and to drown out the opposing views of hate and violence that are also spread through social media, including some heads of state like Donald Trump, who spreads divisive ideas through his daily barrage of tweets.

However, New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern put on a Hijab and held the mourning survivors in a loving embrace. She also made a statement to their Parliament stating that the Terrorist was looking for attention and fame for his actions and extremist ideology, so she will never say his name. This is a powerful reminder to me that just as Politicians and news outlets have the responsibility to make wise decisions on whether they put a spotlight on the actions, motives and ideas of extremists, we too have a responsibility to do the same with the content that we share on social media.

Our Social Responsibility

Every time we share a negative comment, image or video on other people because of their race or religion we not only spread racist ideas we also create a space for this type of content to be acceptable. After the rise of extremist groups that call themselves Muslim who cite the oppression of the West on Muslims as justification for acts of Terror, it has become more acceptable to disrespect and insult Muslims, as if they were part of the problem. There is also a rise in Nationalism across the world, which has consequently encouraged racist comments and actions towards immigrants, who are largely fleeing the violence of wars that the West has a stake in creating in the first place. The Terrorist who attacked Muslims in New Zealand attacked them for being immigrants, but he was himself an immigrant from Australia. There seems to be a double standard depending on the colour of the immigrants skins.

Many White Supremacists, who are classed as Terrorists, are Christian, but we do not associate Christianity with Terrorism. This is because Great Britain and America are seen as Christian nations and it is part of ‘OUR’ identity. Muslims are seen as the ‘OTHER’, which in many people’s minds makes them fair game for criticism and attacks. Remember that the vast majority of world religions talks about loving our neighbour as ourselves. The American Declaration of Independence states “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

We Need Not Stand Divided

It is high time we started treating ‘ALL PEOPLE’ as our neighbours and to love them as ourselves, just like New Zealand did in the wake of this Terrorist attack. There will be exceptions where we come across individuals who act or speak in a way that is in direct opposition to our values and beliefs, but we can always disagree respectfully. If we disagree with the theology of other religions then by all means criticise the theology in the form of theological debate, with arguments for an alternative set of beliefs, but this should never extend to criticising someone because they are Muslim or Christian, Buddhist or Atheist. We all have the right to explore and follow our own beliefs.

It is our actions that we need to monitor and challenge when they infringe on the rights and dignity of others. We have to be responsible when we are deciding to share content on social media. There is an old Sufi maxim about our words passing through three gates before we say them, and I believe that we should consider them when we share content online. Each gate has a question, each of which is very important. These are the three questions.

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it necessary?
  3. Is it kind?

If we can all be responsible on social media and we share only content that encourages love, compassion, community, inspiration and respect then we can drown out the hate. When Terrorists attack any of us they attack all of us. We are one humanity and, like New Zealand has, we can respond to hate with resounding unity. We can look into the face of those who hate and say not here, not in my community. We are shaped largely by our community because what is permitted becomes normal. We must never late hate become normal. Then we will all lose.

Something to reflect on:

I challenge you to find people in your lives that need a hug, a kind word, a good laugh or a listening ear and be the person who provides it. Lead by example and change your community, whether it be your family, your friends, your neighbourhood or your workplace, by being there for others. They will then do the same for someone else, it is in our nature to do so.