Tag: Mindfulness

The Power of Thoughts

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

Yesterday it was sunny and around 20 degrees Celsius, so I needed to put suncream on my 5 year old. As I was about to put it around her neck she said don’t tickle me and preceeded to wriggle around on the floor giggling as I tried to put on the suncream. I then had her sit up and take some slow breathes to allow me to try again. She let me put on the suncream and she didn’t feel like I was tickling her.

When she prepositioned in her head that it would tickle, that was her experience.  When she prepositioned in her head that it wouldn’t tickle it didn’t, as much.

A more extreme example can be found in Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search For Meaning. In the book, the author recounts his experiences in a Nazi concentration camp. He describes how some inmates would give up and others would move around helping others where they could, giving away their last piece of bread. The point being, one’s attitude or thoughts in any given situation can bring about very different states of mind.

Our thoughts become our emotions, and our emotions become our experiences, and our experiences, if repeated enough, become our reality; the world as we see it. Our thoughts are very powerful, and we have the power to choose them. So, we have a choice on how we see the world. Empower yourself by selecting your thoughts.

Chances To Practice Good Habits

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

In mindfulness meditation the aim is to focus on the breath and when your mind wanders to gently bring it back to the breath over and over to better control your mind and be more present. However, in order to come back to the breath we need something to come back from. The same can be said of all the things in life that we do not like. They are a chance to practice good habits.

Wishing someone would hurry up is a chance to practice patience. Being faced with an angry person is a chance to practice empathy, as to being angry causes the other person to suffer. Feeling angry ourselves is a chance to practice self control. And on it goes.

Everything in life can be seen as a way to become happier and more fulfilled by practicing good habits. We are what we repeatedly do, so practicing the things that will make us the kind of person that we want to be is a good way to live your life. If practiced well then we become the person that we are trying to be.

Purpose Vs Mindfulness

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

To have a purpose is to have a goal to work towards. It is essentially something we ‘do’. To be mindful it is less about ‘doing’ and more about ‘being’. In a sense ‘doing’ is a more Western approach to life and ‘being’ is a more Eastern approach to life. Depending on where your cultural reference points are you might feel that these are polar opposites.

In fact they are intertwined. You cannot ‘do’ well unless you are present in the moment and you cannot ‘be’ in the moment without a purpose for doing so. They feed each other like Yin and Yang. To separate them would end up causing confusion and frustration and you would not be able to ‘do’ or ‘be’ particularly well.

To be purposeful mindfully or be mindful on purpose are not easy things to do, but once we recognise the interconnected nature of the two elements we can work towards it.

The Power Of Now

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

The future is a fantasy and the past a memory, both of which only exist in the present mind. This is what many Eastern philosophies proclaim. This may jar against your religious or non-religious views, but there is something powerful about being present.

It is where we can be in the state of Flow, where we are more productive and more available for those we have relationships with. The power of the now, as it is often called, seems to me to be a truism; being present is powerful and transformational. It is also difficult to consistently be mindful of the present moment.

The tried and tested method to become more present is meditation, a habit I’ve been trying to bring into my morning routine and something I recommend, as do many others.

When you have chronic pain you have an interesting relationship with the present moment. Knowing that being present is beneficial and wanting to escape the pain creates a conflict that is only overcome, ironically, by being present and working through the difficult thoughts and feelings. Whether you suffer from chronic pain, as I do, or not, this process of trying to stay in the moment is part of the work of self mastery.

To tame and control your thoughts and to remain present is the mastery we can all strive for through practice. So sit your bum down and meditate, even if it is only for 5 minutes a day. Practice mindfulness and your life will be transformed. This is the power of the now.

Try To Be Grateful

Happiness, Health, Relationships

There are millions of people in the world who do not have access to clean water. Many have no access to electricity. Many are homeless. There are so many things that we take for granted that others just don’t have.

Being grateful does two things. It puts your life into perspective in relation to others who do not have what we have and it makes us so much happier. Start off the day by listing at least five things that you are grateful for, starting with the fact that you woke up alive this morning and you will be in a really good place to start your day.

To Be Is To Do

Happiness, Success

This is a cryptic sounding phrase, ‘to be is to do.’ I read it recently and have been pondering its meaning. What it is referring to is being in the moment, to be in ‘flow.’

We spend a lot of our time in our heads, thinking about the past or the future. We rarely spend time in the present. We rarely just do the thing we are doing. When we just be we just do.

When you are sitting just sit, when you are standing just stand, when you are walking just walk. To be is to do.

Live Your Life Fully

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

When we spend our time thinking about the future and what might happen or the past and what has happened, we fail to be present in the moment. When we live this way we miss a lot of beautiful moments through focusing on our own anxieties and dreams.

It is good to have concern over certain things in life and to have aspirations, but much of our concerns will never come true and we will not reach our aspirations if we do nothing in the present to achieve them.

We also miss an opportunity to fully experience and understand the things that happen in our lives. In order to do this we need to be more present, to be mindful of what is happening moment to moment. As a great Buddhist once said, when you sit, sit, when you stand, stand, when you walk, walk. In other words, fully do the thing you are doing. Get out of your head and into the moment.

Being Mindful

Happiness, Success

In Chi Kung (Qigong) there is a saying, ‘where the mind goes the Chi flows.’ In other words, with practice, you can move your own Chi around your body to improve your health. This may sounds far fetched, but I can say that I do this in my daily Chi Kung practice.

The reason I am mentioning this is because it got me thinking about what we focus on in life. When we assume we are going to have a bad day we often do. Not because it was going to happen, but because we focused on all the negative things and ignore the positive. Sometimes our actions create the bad day, because we assume it will happen. We create self fulfilling prophesies, so to speak.

What if we woke up grateful to be alive for another day. What if we were more mindful of everything we did during the day. The smell of morning coffee, a colourful sunrise, the bus being on time, having a conversation with a stranger, and so on.

What if we looked at the challenges of the day as opportunities to make a difference. If we were to be focused on finding opportunities to learn and grow and serve, then we would find opportunities. The brain looks for what we tell it to look for. Where your mind goes your life flows.

Are We Addicted To Our Mobile Phones?

Happiness, The Fullfilment Framework

“Gadgets helps the solo, not the soul.” 
― Amit Kalantri,Wealth of Words

Witnessing Addiction to Mobile Phones

Recently, standing on the platform of a tram stop waiting for my tram, I saw a lady walking along, headphones in her ears, watching a video on her mobile phone and hardly even looking ahead of her as she walked. My mind was filled with thoughts around how human beings have become slaves to our mobile devices, how we have become a society who craves instant gratification and how addicted we all are. Then, another lady walked passed a moment later holding up a book she was engrossed in as she too walked along the platform.

This stark contrast is only really a contrast in the source of their attention, rather than the activity they were engaged in.  It begs the question, are we missing life by becoming regularly absorbed by activities that do not promote good mental and physical well-being. In our western society, to get drunk and the morning after not remember what we did the night before is lorded as almost a badge of honour. To binge watch whole series of a program on our preferred online streaming platform is a common occurrence too.

Are We Zombies?

It seems we are losing the ability to just be, to be aware of what we are doing when we are doing it. Our search for activities that give us quick wins, and as a result, hits of addictive Dopamine, is turning us into zombies, of sorts. I say this as a fellow zombie, but seeing a lady walking along a tram platform watching something on her mobile, and not able to wait until she was at home or somewhere else more appropriate, and safer, woke me up to the realities of our current quick fix culture.

These observations also beg the age old question of how we should live. Should we follow the crowd and become absent from the world while we stare into our mobile devices, or is there a better way to live. There is some merit for living without the constant availability of entertainment. I am not sure I could do it, but will try to cut back on how much I watch things on my mobile phone.

There is also the question of what we watch. If we watch lectures on the merits of theological or philosophical positions, or we watch instruction videos to help us do yoga or learn a new skill or something else that improves our lives, is this not a good thing? I suppose mobile devices, and by extension social media, are tools that can be used to make our lives, and the world better, or they can be used to simply waste time, which we cannot get back. Time is a currency that can never be bought back. I use Facebook to try and create a community as an extension of this blog, to try and get people to help each other live well. Even social media can be a beneficial in our lives.

The answer to the question of how we should live, I would suggest, trying the improve the lives of others, to help others find meaning and to be happy, and if this means we use mobile devices and social media to achieve this, then I am all for it.

Something to reflect on:

If we let the things we watch, mobile devices and social media dictate our thoughts and actions, then we must ask are they in charge of our lives?

What are we looking for?

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

“Don’t Look For Anything,

Just Learn to Look”

– Sadhguru

 

In his blog post on 30/04/18 Sadhguru reflects on the difference between looking to find a conclusion in life and the art of just looking. It is true that in our culture we are very focused on outcomes, achieving goals and reaching success, but in our path of life the important things like happiness and love, and even success, should not be end goals, not really. Real happiness, love or success are experiences felt in the moment, within ourselves, and they are very personal.

 

Looking in the wrong place

If you take any of these three things you can say that they are different for each individual person, because they are manifestations from our individual interactions with the people and the world around us, and when our circumstances and our relationships with other people and the world are in alignment with our values and beliefs then happiness, love and success manifest in our lives. The point here is that we spend too much time in search of attaining these things, as if they are out there in the world, as if we could possess them, if only we can live the right life, buy the right things and do the right actions. Happiness, joy, love, pleasure, satisfaction, success and many other human goals are all things that we experience within ourselves, we can never find them by looking for them out there in the world.

 

“The ability to look without motive

is missing in the world today.

Everyone is a psychological creature,

wanting to assign meaning to everything.”

– Sadhguru

 

Just looking

Many sages talk about being mindful, of being fully conscious of the moment we are in and not being distracted by our regrets of the past or worries about the future. The point that Sadhguru is making in his blog post referenced above is that our capacity to experience life in it’s fullest form is dependent on whether or not we focus on just looking so that we understand what we are looking at more deeply, it is curiosity for curiosity’s sake. He says “Spirituality is not about looking for God, truth or the ultimate. It is about enhancing your perception, your very faculty of seeing.” In this way you could say that the path to enlightenment, or just happiness or success, is in fact the path itself. All of these positive experiences that I have been talking about can be experienced instantly if we have the right mindset and if we look at the world and ourselves without expectation of a goal.

 

Something to reflect on:

How do you try to manifest happiness, love and success in your life? Are you seeing them as goals or as experiences in the moment?