Tag: Motivation

How To Be Successful

The Pathway To Fulfilment

We hear a lot about motivation and striving for success, but often we chase the wrong goals because they look good on someone else. So we either gain success and feel empty or we fail because we can’t get motivated.

We get excited and get more done when we are enjoying something or it aligns with what we care about. It is hard to get motivated about something that we don’t care about, but very easy to get a lot done with very little motivation when we are passionate about the thing we are doing.

Success comes when we figure out what we care about, what we are passionate about, and we put our energy into succeeding in that area. We don’t need better motivation, we need clearer values and beliefs, because these will highlight the things we care about. Then we can be successful and feel fulfilled by the success.

Building A Better World

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Relationships, Success

Today is Dr Suess Day and one of my favourite quotes from Dr Seuss books is “Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person. No matter how small.” ― Dr. Seuss, “Horton Hears a Who!” I love all of his books, but this is one of my favourites.

We all have our highs and lows in life, our advantages and disadvantages. We are all fighting battles that others can’t see, some big and some small. The message that this quote gives me is firstly, believing in ourselves is necessary for progress to happen, it is is also necessary for others to believe in us too. You could be the person that causes someone to believe in themselves, to become their best self. There is power in believing in others.

Secondly, everyone has equal validity and worth. Therefore, kindness and respect should be a given with all interactions. If someone acts in a way that belittles or hurts others they should be held to account for their actions, but we should still respect their humanity. Never fall for thinking of others as less than human. This opens the door to inhuman treatment of fellow human beings.

Believe in others and they will believe in themselves. Treat all with kindness and respect. This is how we build a better world.

Motivation Matters

Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

In Buddhism, the motivation behind actions will often generate more karmic consequences than the action itself. Similarly, in life the outcome of our actions is heavily influenced by our motivation. In other words, our intention matters.

If we have a purpose in life and our actions are aligned with that purpose, then the outcome will usually be aligned with our purpose too. This is because the way we act out our actions or the words we choose to use are influenced by our motivation, by our purpose.

If we want to make a sale because we will get a bonus out of it, we will likely try to manipulate someone into buying what we are selling. If we want to make a sale because what we are selling will help certain people, we will look for those people and sell to them in order to improve their lives.

Whether you believe in karma or not, the consequences of how we do things in life mirror our motivation behind our words and our actions. Our motivation matters.

Finding Your Passion

Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

There is a lot of talk, particularly from motivational coaches, around finding your passion. Some will give the advice that you should do what you love. This is advice I am inclined to disagree with because there is a danger that you will turn what you love into work that you hate to do. There are two other ways to think about this.

Find Your Why

Simon Sinek explained this very well in his book Start With Why. The idea is that once you have figured out the ‘Why’ behind all that you do, the DNA of your decision making and how you treat others, then you can apply this to ‘How’ you live or work and ‘What’ you do, based on your ‘Why.’ This will allow you to be more passionate about what you do because it will be aligned with who you are.

Be Passionate About What You Do

Seth Godin suggests that if we choose to be passionate about the work we are already doing we are empowered by the act of choosing and it is better than expecting the work we do to give us passion. We will be doing what we choose to do, not what we have to do. The narrative changes.

We can then put our energy into making a difference and creating things that were not there before we decided to do them, and we will also be more fulfilled than we would by trying to do what we love.

I feel that both of these approaches are valid and some mixture of the two will certainly be better than doing what you love.

Just Do It

Achieving Goals, Success

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

– Winston Churchill

 

The slogan of Nike is “Just Do It”, which is a call to action, but the action is deeply personal. When we hear Just Do It we are directed in our minds to the thing we are unsure about, the thing we are scared to do, but we are drawn to doing. We all have things that we want to do but we don’t think we are able to do or we feel that it will end in failure, so we don’t even try. I think having such doubts comes from previous failure that hurt us deeply in the past, and have become a forgotten wound that has healed and left a scare deep in our subconscious.

There is a moment between when we think about doing this thing we are scared to do and our brains talking us out of it. It is this moment of a few seconds when if we don’t act then it is unlikely that we will Just Do It. Many of us feel that we need confidence before we can do new things or that we need courage to do it. Both of these are often true, but there is something that comes before confidence and courage. Before we can have confidence, or courage, I believe that we first need clarity, we need to know what our Why is. If we understand the reason why we do what we do we can understand everything that we do. It is the act of discovering our raison d’être, our reason for being. When we know our reason for being we develop confidence in our own abilities, fueled by our passion for what we value. First we need clarity, then we get confidence and then we take the step of Just Doing It by having the courage to give it a go.

Courage, by the way, is not having the confidence to do something before you do it, no, it is giving it a go even if you are scared. The courage always comes with being scared, and the more scared you are the more courage you need to give it a go anyway. The clarity we have in what we believe and value is a sort of compass pointing us in the direction our soul wants us to go to and our confidence is a platform we can use to jump from when we take risks and try new things.

I have had a difficult time over the past decade when my confidence has been shaken to its core and anxiety seemed to take over my everything. However, I am taking back my confidence and my courage by finding clarity and being willing to give new things a go. I know that you can do the same. We have all had things that have knocked us down, but it is not about how many times we get knocked down but how many times we get back up. If we always get up one more time than we get knocked down we can rebuild, restore and move forwards. As long as we are moving forwards baby steps count too. So think of that thing you are putting off doing and Just Do It.

 

Something to reflect on:

Knowing thyself is the key to success at anything. Clarity leads to confidence, which leads to courage. Whatever is in your heart to do, just do it.

 

The Power of Yet

Achieving Goals, Success

“I truly believe in positive synergy,

that your positive mindset gives you

a more hopeful outlook, and belief

that you can do something great

means you will do something great.”

-Russell Wilson

 

It is all in the mindset

Much in life comes down to whether we think we can do something or if we cannot. These choices can sometimes seem fixed, but nothing could be further from the truth. Our brains are in a constant flux of change. Every new experience changes how we understand and view our past experiences and our memories can change as a result. Often there is a tendency to tell ourselves that we cannot do something, because either the evolution of our brains is trying to keep us safe by sticking to a cautious approach or we have had bad experiences trying new things in the past and we consequently back away from anything that is new or difficult.

 

It is our mindsets that are either fixed or flexible. The terms fixed mindset and growth mindset describe mental states that are both self imposed and imposed by our environment. If we are told that we have been successful because we are smart then we assume unconsciously that success comes from fixed personality traits. People with this mindset crumble when they hit a challenge beyond their capabilities. They do not have the mental flexibility to navigate around a challenge. If we are told that we are successful because we work hard then we assume unconsciously that success comes from hard work and determination. People with this mindset become lateral thinkers, they think outside of the box and when a challenge is beyond them they are more likely to keep trying until the challenge is overcome.

 

We are the architects of our lives

What we tell our children about their success becomes part of their mindset throughout life. Importantly what we tell ourselves can be with us throughout our lives as well. If you find yourself saying that you cannot do something out of a belief that it is beyond you then I encourage you to add the word ‘yet’ to the end of the sentence. “I can’t drive a car yet.” “I can’t draw yet.” “I can’t play the guitar yet.” “I can’t find a new job yet.” “I can’t run a marathon yet.” Whatever it is, there is power in the word ‘yet.’ Give it a try.

 

Something to reflect on:

Your power or your weakness is often based on a belief that you hold, whether consciously or not. Behaviour is based on conscious and unconscious beliefs. What beliefs do you have that are holding you back?

The importance of leadership

Leadership

“Leadership is not about the next election,

it’s about the next generation.”

– Simon Sinek

 

Imagine a world where there was no leadership, what would it be like. There would undoubtedly be an upsurge in chaos throughout every sphere of human culture. What about good leadership? What happens when we have no good leadership? To me good leadership is about taking care of those around you as much as it is about having a vision and leading people towards that vision. If people in any organisation are not looked after, whether it be within a voluntary organisation like a church or a business with a thousand employees or more, these people will invariably become self serving and feel that they have to watch there back in fear of losing their job. Anxiety goes up, well-being goes down and eventually the organisation collapses under the strain through the self serving actions of people create splits into tribalism or the selfish actions of some cause massive detriment to others in the organisation and those outside of it as well.

 

Morality in leadership

The price of bad leadership is very high. Just look at what is happening in the US at the moment. Almost all of the actions President Donald Trump makes are self serving, which causes those around him to compromise on their own ethics and the office of the President, which is supposed to lead and support the people, becomes eroded. This highlights very strongly in my eyes that good leadership requires a higher morality, either taken from religious, philosophical or secular ideals. This higher morality must come from something outside of ourselves, something that is a guiding star in all decisions and actions made by a leader.

 

Inspiration in leadership

It is well understood that good leaders inspire others to follow them, but many leaders fall back on the default of managing those they lead rather than inspiring them. If you only manage the work of others then they will do their job but they will rarely show any brilliance in what they do, they will do the minimum and go home at the end of the day unfulfilled. A good leader creates leaders in others, they actively encourage others to strive towards an ideal that allows them to be more than they believe that they can be, because the vision laid out be the leadership demands it. This is how innovation happens, how social action happens, how people change the world for the better, through the creation of a vision of a better world.

 

Humility in leadership

There is a term which gets bounded around quite a bit when talking about leadership and that is ‘servant leader’. A servant leader is someone who’s primary drive is to take care of those they lead, someone who lifts people up, who builds confidence and skills in others so that they can excel at what they do. When someone is looked after by the leadership in their organisation then they will do everything they can to move that organisation forwards. This is not top-down leadership, this is ubuntu leadership. Ubuntu is a South African word that means “I am because of you.” It is absolute respect and compassion for every other human being. When this is the focus of the leadership then those they lead will feel like there organisation is more like a family than a workplace.

 

“Everyone who takes care of

those around them can be a leader.”

 

If these three things can be manifested in leadership then the world will be better for it. You might be reading this blog post and be thinking that you could not be a leader, but I would politely disagree. Everyone who takes care of those around them can be a leader. If at your workplace you make sure that everyone else is OK, if you regularly ask them how they are doing and offer them solutions to their problems you are a leader. Even if you are not in an obvious leadership role, but you look after your team and help them move forwards in what they are doing you are a leader. To be a great leader we must also have the capacity to inspire others to follow a vision of a better world and to have a strong moral compass to guide us through the tough times.

 

Something to reflect on:

In your life who would you consider to be a good leader and who would you consider to be a great leader? What is it that make them such a good or great leader? Are these things that you could do to become a great leader yourself? Leadership is a mindset with actions to back this mindset up. Let us lead humanity to a better place.

Stepping into the unknown

Happiness, Success

“Until you step into the unknown,

you don’t know what you’re made of.”

― Roy T. Bennett

 

Making choices

In life there are many avenues to go down, many paths to take, or not as the case may be. Some of these paths lead to dead ends and some to wonderful opportunities. The challenge we have is that we never know beforehand, for certain, if making a particular choice will bring a positive outcome or not. Each time we are stepping into the unknown. We can, however, as the saying goes, learn from our mistakes and use our experience to weigh up the options and make a decision. Some say we should go with our gut, with what feels right, but if this is not tempered with wisdom and experience then we will only be following our instincts, which are primed for survival, not necessarily leading a fulfilling life.

 

The unknown could be a new job, a new relationship, trying a new hobby or something that changes lots of things in our lives like moving to another town or city. We make these sorts of changes every day, but they still come with uncertainty and some anxiety. Each new change begins with a decision and leads to more decisions along the way. I would argue that no approach to making decisions is the best or the worst, as we each live individual lives and we are all individual people, but there are some things that can help when we are stepping into the unknown, which I will come onto in a moment.

 

Why do we step into the unknown?

However, first of all I would like to explore why we might feel the need to step into the unknown. It has long been part of the human spirit to push beyond our boundaries into uncharted territories. Human history is full of examples of men and women that have strived beyond the boundaries of their day to create new innovations and break records, whether this is manned powered flight or reaching the South Pole on foot.

 

For most of us such challenging goals are not things that we aim to do, partly because we are interested in other things and partly because we have commitments in our lives that need our attention and focus. That being said, we all have things that we are passionate about, things that we would happily do for free if time and circumstances permitted. This is the unknown territory that I want to talk about today, the venturing into the things that we are passionate about. Often, we don’t jump into our passions because we have responsibilities that we feel we must commit to or we lack the confidence to do so.

 

“…the past does not equal the future.”

 

More often than not we do not follow our passions because we have had bad experiences trying new things in the past and we think that the same thing will happen again. There is an important principle connected to this that I have recently being trying to apply in my life, which is that the past does not equal the future. A lot of people, including myself, are held back by failure, because based on past experience we expect to fail again. The problem is that we see failure as a negative thing because of our past experiences. If we accept that we will fail sometimes then we can employ all of the resources that we have to make it work and to succeed.

 

Not everything is instantly obtainable

We also live in a time when almost everything is instant. Whatever it is you want to buy, often there is an option to have it delivered the same day. We can do our banking on our mobile phones, we can send an email to someone and they will receive it a few seconds later, no matter where in the world they are. Innovation has made our lives a lot more convenient, but not easier. This is because we expect everything to be instant, but many of the important things in life take time and effort. For example, relationships take time and effort to become strong and durable through the ups and downs of life. It is the little moments of asking how someone’s day is going and caring about the answer, of engaging in small talk in the moments between doing other things. These things help to build strong, healthy relationships.

 

Too often we are spending time with people without spending time with them. I’ve seen couples in restaurants where they are both on their mobile phones and not looking at or communicating with the person they came to the restaurant with. It has become an accepted thing to do to scroll through our Facebook feed instead of making a connection with the person we are with. This has had a knock-on effect that means young people are finding it difficult to build relationships, because the social skills that are normally built up through trial and error as a child cannot be practiced if they are looking at a screen and not a person.

 

Failure also seems all the more magnified because if we expect something to be instantly successful, and we fall at the first hurdle, we give up. We are becoming conditioned for insecurity when we should be conditioned to fail our way to success. I guarantee that every successful person who is famous for their success has failed more times than most other people have. It is not about how many times you get knocked down, it is about how many times you keep getting up. Having this sort of mentality will enable us to stride forth into the unknown with the confidence to fail and try again.

 

For this to work, however, we need to have the right motivation. Wanting to be successful so that we can be rich is a motivation, but it will inevitably lead to an emptiness, because you cannot buy happiness. If, on the other hand, we want to be successful so that we can help more people live better lives, then fulfilment will be our reward. Motivation is key and it has to fit with our values and beliefs, this above all else is important, because to live a fulfilling life our thoughts, speech and actions should reflect what we value and what we believe.

 

Wisdom guides us

But where do our beliefs and values come from? They are manifestations from the culture and community we grow up in, the examples our parents give us and how they raised us, as well as the experiences that we have had. Through all of this input we piece together what we believe and what we value. All of this then effects the decisions that we make on a day to day basis, but I believe that if we are to make wise decisions in life then we should seek out wisdom, which can be found in any of the many religious scriptures, philosophical and secular texts from around the world. If we have wise guidelines or principles to follow, then stepping into the unknown will seem less scary. I suggest firstly analysing what is holding you back from stepping into the unknown and try to overcome it, through seeking wisdom and figuring out your beliefs and values. These things will guide you on your path. It helps to accept whatever is in front of you on your path and then figure out how to deal with it.

 

Something to reflect on:

Often what is holding us back is our own misguided beliefs and the baggage we carry from past experiences. Holding on to bad experiences weighs us down. Once we let them go we are more free to move forwards. This is not easy but essential if we are to live a fulfilling life.

How to achieve your dreams

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t you’re right.”
― Henry Ford

 

As we learnt in my recent blog post, How to be more confident, self doubt is a decision not to try, and it is also a habit. This might sound harsh, but those who achieve success in their chosen field do so largely because of their mindset. Here are a few ways in which we can make good choices when working towards our dreams.

 

Say “What if?”

When we come up against difficult challenges in our lives often we can back down and avoid doing anything risky or that involves us putting ourselves out there, open to criticism and possible failure. One way to get past this barrier to success is to say to ourselves “what if?” What if we did succeed, what if we managed to achieve our dreams, what if. This allows us to consider the possibility of actually succeeding, rather than becoming consumed by the thought of failure.

 

Start the day right

Often our days are influenced greatly by how they begin, we often say that someone who is in a bad mood has got up on the wrong side of the bed. Having a positive start to our day can have a massive impact on the decisions we make and whether we feel confident to make bold moves or to take advantage of opportunities. It is important to create a morning routine of positive rituals. If you are religious this could involve prayer or giving thanks to God. If you are not religious, giving thanks to the universe for being alive.

 

Studies have shown that gratitude is very important for our wellbeing and it can bring so much positivity into our lives. Doing some physical activity at the start of the day can be very energising. This could be just stretches, if you have a physical condition such as Fibromyalgia like me, or it could be doing some weights or going for a run or swim. Whatever your level of ability and health, some physical activity at the start of the day can set you up to have an awesome day. It is also important to set our intention for the day. You could ask yourselves “What am I going to bring to today?” and decide that no matter what you are going to have an awesome day. Our brains look for the things we focus on, so if we begin the day in a negative mindset we will look for problems, but if we start the day with a positive mindset our brains will look for opportunities.

 

Handling the negative

When negative things happen to us often we crumble or we react, getting angry or upset. If we let this happen we can push ourselves off course and away from our dreams. One of the most important skills we can learn is to pick ourselves up when life knocks us down, but more important than that is to become immune to the negative nonsense. If we develop the habit of letting other people’s opinions of us or little mistakes that we make become magnified through our focus on them, then we cripple our chances of achieving our dreams.

 

This self sabotage is a habit that we need to break. So, when minor negative things happen in our lives telling ourselves that we are OK and can keep moving forwards means that we will and we can. It is rare that we get knocked down to rock bottom, but we often have to deal with negative circumstances and people each day. This is what we need to build up an immunity to, so we can live with more joy and help others bring joy into their own lives.

 

Motivation is key

The Wright Brother successfully took flight in a manned powered plane on 17th December 1903. They were not the only people trying to achieve this. Samuel Pierpont Langley led a team who were very well funded, well educated and followed around by the press constantly. Whereas, the Wright Brother had no funding, no one followed them around anywhere and paid they for their venture from the proceeds of their bicycle shop. However, Samuel Pierpont Langley did not have something that the Wright Brothers did, which was the right motivation. He wanted fame and fortune for being the person who figured out manned flight, but the Wright Brothers had a vision of flight changing the world for the better. They were aiming at making advances for the betterment of humankind.

 

This is because their mission to change the world, their drive to succeed and their passion for what they were doing kept them going, even though they would crash several times every day, until at the end of 1903 they achieved their dream. If we want to achieve our dreams we have to examine our motivations. If we are only interested in self gratification and relishing the spoils of success then any success we have will feel empty. When we raise others up, when we make positive change in the world, when we bring joy and success to others, then we will be on the way to achieving the dreams that we can be proud of.

 

A dream achieved is only worthwhile if we bring other people closer to their dreams along the way.

 

 

How to be more confident

Success

“Your doubts will create mountains. Your actions will move them.”

– Mel Robbins

 

This post is going to be a brief summary of Mel Robbin’s ‘Confidence Crash Course Livestream’ that was replayed on YouTube. It is an outstanding exploration of what confidence actually is and how to manage the self sabotage that gets in the way of us being more confident. I have added in here and their my own take on what was said in this livestream. There is a link at the bottom of the post to the YouTube video to watch the hour and a half video chocked full of good advice. I recommend watching it as there is a lot of content that I have not included here, as there is not enough space in a blog post to cover it all.

 

Myths about confidence

  1. Confidence is a personality trait

  2. Confidence is fixed

  3. Confidence starts with belief

 

Truths about confidence

  1. Confidence is a skill

  2. Confidence is situational

  3. Confidence begins with action

 

There are areas in our lives that we feel more and less confident in, which shows that it  really does depends on the situation we are in more than our overall confidence as a person. Knowing that confidence begins with action means that we have control over our confidence, because…

 

Confidence is the decision to try

 

A lot of people feel less confident when starting something new, but it is key to remember that you are always going to either succeed or survive. Either way you will learn something new. It can help to remember Mel’s definition of confidence and replace the word ‘confidence’ with ‘the willingness to try’. This then becomes actionable and we can take the action we need to, so we can take control of the situation we are in and work towards a positive outcome.

 

Self doubt is the decision not to try

 

Self doubt is also a decision to avoid taking the action that we do not want to take. It often has become a habit to doubt ourselves rather than trust that our inner voice is capable of directing us in the right direction.

 

Wise words: “Your doubts will create mountains.

Your actions will move them.”

 

The 4 traps of self doubt

  1. Hesitating

  2. Hiding

  3. Hypercritical

  4. Helplessness

 

Hesitating

  • Triggered by uncertainty
  • Waiting
  • Overthinking
  • Wanting your work to be perfect

You will never find the right time to do something. The only solution when we are hesitating is to just do it. When we are waiting to avoid something the solution is to just take action. If we are overthinking a decision it can help to ask someone else to make the decision for us. Many of us are perfectionists and this is also a way of hesitating and avoiding taking action. Remember that ‘good is gold,’ the only person that thinks that it needs to be perfect is us. Good is good enough. Hesitating is a way of staying in control, but it causes us not to take advantage of opportunities. The only answer to avoiding hesitation is to take action.

 

Hiding

  • Triggered by fear
  • Avoiding people/calls
  • Being silent
  • Being a chicken about money and terms
  • Procrastinating
  • Not talking to new prospects

We avoid the actions that we fear, but saying that we can’t talk to that person or we can’t make that call is wrong. What we actually mean is that we don’t talk to that person or make that call. Avoiding it is a choice that we have control over, we just have to bite the bullet and do it. Procrastinating is another way of hiding from the thing we don’t want to do, it is a way to be in control. We don’t know what will happen when we take action, but we will either succeed or survive.

 

Hypercritical

  • Triggered by past failures
  • You argue against yourself
  • You focus on the reasons why you can’t
  • You fixate on what could go wrong
  • Your stress has an edge

Often we are hardest on ourselves. We say negative things to ourselves in our heads that we wouldn’t say to anyone else, because they are so harsh. We argue with ourselves, saying things like, “I can’t do that” or “I’m going to fail,” while we are trying to convince ourselves to do something. We often fixate on what could go wrong, rather than what we could get right. Sometimes our stress has an edge to it, it seems quite serious, but only if we focus on the wrong things.

 

Strategies

  1. Break down big steps
  2. Take small moves forwards
  3. Record your progress

 

Helplessness

  • Triggered by low self worth
  • You actively play the victim
  • You know the solution
  • You may say that “nothing ever goes my way”
  • You’ve got all the excuses in the book

Actively playing the victim means that we don’t have to take responsibility for things, even when we know the solution we avoid taking action. When something does not go to plan saying “nothing ever goes my way” is another way of not taking responsibility. As is coming up with a long list of excuses. If we own our mistakes we can always find a success in the situation.

 

Wise word: “The problem isn’t knowing what you want.

The problem is having the courage to say it.”

 

The 4 traps of self doubt are learned behaviour

 

Many of us are clear on what we want, we just don’t want to admit it, because we would then have to do something about it and take action. We need to ask ourselves, “Do we have self doubt or a habit of doubting ourselves?” Self doubt is a learned behaviour, often from the people we have spent the most time with. Knowing this means that we can change our behaviour to actions that serve us better. The ingredient we are missing is courage. To get from clarity, which is knowing what we want, to confidence, which gets us what we want, we have to have courage. We have to just do it, even if we are anxious or nervous, because courage is not the absence of fear, it is taking action even when you are scared to do it. Confidence is at the other side of courage.

 

Clarity > Courage > Confidence

 

Wise Words: “Changing is hard.

You don’t have to go through it alone.”

 

One of the best things we can do is to try and bounce back after failure. One strategy to do this is to write a list of all of the failures that we are mentally carrying around with us. All of the failures that we cannot let go of. Then, to write down one important lesson we learned from each one of them. This releases the burden of carrying the failure around, because we begin to treat the failure as a positive thing that can help us move forward.

 

Wise words: “If you have a problem that can be

solved with action, you don’t have a problem.”

 

It is important to focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot control. We often spend a lot of time and mental energy worrying about things that we have no control over. Mel, during the live stream, had a few technical problems at the beginning, but she kept on going. She focused on what she was saying and the content that she wanted to deliver, which she had full control over. The result was that the message got across and the content hit home. If she had given up at the first sign of technical trouble then she would not have impacted the 1500 or so people that tuned in to the live stream and the countless others who have watched the YouTube replay. Focus on what you can control.

 

A technique that Mel Robbins talks a lot about is the 5 second rule. This is used when you have anxiety rise up and your frontal cortex, the thinking, rational part of the brain, shuts down and the amygdala, the emotional, fight or flight part of the brain, takes over. You simply say 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, which switches the frontal cortex back on and you think of your anchor thought. Your anchor thought is something that make you feel good or that you can get excited about. For me it is thinking about seeing my Wife and daughter at the end of the working day. The reason this works is that the body has the same physiological behaviour when you are anxious and when you are excited, the only difference is what your brain thinks about it. So, telling yourself that you are excited about whatever it is, your brain calms down and the anxious feeling goes away. It is a technique that can really work when the panic begins to set in when you are in a stressful situation.

 

And finally, the take away message is that a negative mindset does not serve you. So actively removing the negative mindset when it shows up and replacing it with a positive mindset is really important for a happier and more successful life, and a more fulfilling life as a result. If you have found this information useful please do watch the full video by clicking on this link (Confidence Crash Course Livestream Replay) and check out Mel Robbin’s YouTube channel, her books and her website, www.melrobbins.com.  Keep on working towards your dreams, and remember, fulfilment is a path that we walk together.

 

#LiveDeeply

 

5 Books to help you get your life on track

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Fullfilment Framework

“Books are the training weights of the mind.”

-Epictetus

 

Books, it has been said, are windows into the soul and the doorways into dreams, but they also have the function by which we broaden our minds, sharpening our intellect and help ourselves live better lives. They are signposts on the path to happiness, success and fulfilment, the ingredients of a life well lived. These are 5 books that I believe will lead to a life well lived. They span the categories of health, self-improvement and spirituality. All three of these categories relate to the Foundation in my Fullfilment Framework, which is an evolving framework which I believe will lead to living a fulfilled life. (You can click on the titles of the books to take you to Amazon should you wish to buy a copy, though there are many other excellent online outlets where you could buy the books).

 

1. Start With Why, How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action by Simon Sinek

 

“There are many ways to motivate people to do things, but loyalty comes from the ability to inspire people. Only when the WHY is clear and when people believe what you believe can a true loyal relationship develop.”

 

I am going to begin with Start With Why, an excellent book for figuring out your own ‘Why’, whether as an individual or as a company. Our ‘Why’ is our purpose, our reason for being, it is the thing that is behind every decision we make and every action we take, it is an essential part of our mind, body and soul. Our ‘Why’ is formed by the time we are in our early 20s, but many of us do not know what it is, or we do but we do not understand it well enough to utilise it in making a fulfilled life for ourselves. It is only now in my mid-thirties that I have figured out my ‘Why’, which is to help others be fulfilled in their lives. My Why is the motivation I use when at work, at church, with friends or with family, it is also the reason I have begun writing this blog.

This book takes us through the world that does not start with Why and the consequences of it. It then goes on to talk about the biology of our human brains and how the concept of Why is in harmony with our biology. It then goes on to discuss the successes various famous people and companies have had because they know their ‘Why’. The book is an excellent introduction to the concept of having a Why and it will help you figure out what your Why is, so you can align your life with it.

 

2. The Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard

 

“We must ask: When will we be ready to ascend to another level of existence.”

 

This book is about focusing your life for success. It begins with ‘The Declaration of Personal Power.’ It is about reclaiming our sense of self and channeling our energy into self renewal and success in our lives. Section One in the book looks at our human nature and how we are affected by freedom, fear and motivation. We have conditioned responses to each of these, but if we were to take control of our responses then we can be free, courageous and generate our own motivation.

Section Two goes through a list of nine declaration on what we shall do, for example, “We Shall Reclaim Our Agenda” and “We Shall Defeat Our Demons.” These declaration empower us to be in the driving seat of our lives so that we can make our lives magnificent. This is something we can all do, every single one of us.

 

3. Healing Foods, Eat Your Way to a Healthier Life by Neal’s Yard Remedies

 

“The food we eat has an overreaching effect on our health and well-being, whether we are conscious of it or not.”

 

This book contains a wealth of knowledge about how food can be used to heal and to help us live a healthy life. It begins with different dietary patterns and diversity from around the world. It compares GM foods to food the way nature intended (organic) and it goes through the benefits of supplements. The main body if the book is an extensive look at the foods that heal. The food types are divided into Fruits, Vegetables, Nuts, Seeds and Sprouts, Medicinal Herbs, Culinary Herbs, Cereals and Grains, Pulses, Spices, Fats and Oils, Fermented Foods, Meats, Oily Fish and Other Foods. There is also a section with some wonderful Recipes That Heal and recipes set out into daily meals and types of foods. For a healthy body and a sense of well-being, our physical health is essential. Everything tat we eat and drink becomes our bodies, we are what we eat.

 

4. The Way of Qigong, The Art and Science of Chinese Energy Healing by Kenneth S. Cohen

 

“Qi is the Chinese word for “life energy.”… …Gong means “work” or “benefit acquired through perseverance and practice.” Thus, qigong means working with the life energy, learning how to control the flow and distribution of qi to improve the health and harmony of mind and body.”

 

Qigong is an ancient practice of generating and controlling the energy that flows through our bodies, which is a distinctly Eastern practice and a major part of Chinese medicine. In the Western model of medicine the focus is on treating the symptoms without trying to find the cause(s). I have experienced this first hand with my onset of Fibromyalgia. I went to see a variety of experts who could only see their specific section of the body and its functions, but having been treated by practitioners of Chinese medicine I can vouch for the fact that the focus is more on the whole body and fixing the cause of the illness, to bring the body back into balance.

This book firstly explains what Qigong is, its history and scientific evidence proving that it works. It then explains Qigong basics, ways of using Qigong to heal yourself and living a Qigong lifestyle. The book goes into a lot of depth, but explains everything in a way that makes sense and is easy to follow, with physical practices that are not very different from Tai Chi. In the West energy healing, or Qigong, is little known about, but it is slowly filtering into our culture in the same way that Martial Arts, Yoga and Tai Chi have done, it is only a matter of time.

 

 

5. Spiritual Renegade’s Guide to the Good Life by Lama Marut

 

“This book is for desperados. It’s for those who know life is short and who are tired of wasting day after day in low-level unhappiness as they wait for the next high-level version… …It’s a guide for those tired of trying to become well-adjusted to a perverse society and who are willing – even eager – to deviate from the norm.”

 

This book comes from a Buddhist standpoint, but it acknowledges the teachings of other world religions, and takes a common sense view of how to live a spiritual life, which, as every Prophet and Sage has taught, usually goes against the system. In our case it goes against the Capitalist culture we live in, which is designed to keep us unhappy, so we will keep buying things to keep the economy rolling on. Stepping off this hamster wheel and fighting the power by being content is the first step, because contentment is entry level happiness, the first step towards enlightenment, or perfect happiness.

What I like about this book is the short sections within each chapter which allow us to absorb the points made and practices suggested. There is also a Couch Potato Contemplation and an Action Plan at the end of each chapter. The Couch Potato Contemplation is something to reflect on from the chapter that you have just read, but rather than treating it like a serious meditation, it is something to just sit and think about while sat on the couch. The Action Plan is a behaviour to try and embody based on the teachings in the chapter we have just read, something simple but that challenges the status quo for the better. Each section also has a QR code that we can scan with our mobile phone, which takes us to YouTube Videos of Lama Marut giving teachings related to the section we have just read, to embed the learning and explore the ideas presented.

 

There is a Recommended Reading List on my blog site that has these books and many others under the categories:

  • Happiness, Health and Success
  • Theology and Philosophy
  • History and Science
  • Fiction

 

 

Resources

 

YouTube Channel of Dr John Bergman, who talks about how to achieve good health naturally without chemicals like medication.

YouTube Channel of Lama Marut, a Buddhist Lama who teaches deep Buddhist teachings in easy to understand lectures.

Website of Jim MacRitchie, a Qigong Acupuncturist who teaches Qigong classes (There are free Qigong resources on this website).

Website of Simon Sinek, discussing the concept of ‘Why’ and resources to use this concept to improve your life and that of others.