Tag: Self Belief

Focus On The How Not The Why

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success

Life runs away from us backwards into our pasts, giving us the sense that we are being propelled forwards in time, when we think about it. But our speed is constant, which is why we don’t really feel it day to day. The thing to do is to pay attention, be mindful and enjoy the scenary. Time gives us no choice but to age, if we are lucky.

The grey and the wrinkles are gifts. They remind us how far we have come and that we are still here. That we still have choices of how we can live. The how is the most imprtant thing, more so than the why.

Figure out the how and the why will take care of itself.

Beliefs Are More Important Than Goals

The Pathway To Fulfilment

I’m currently reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’m only part way through the book but the book makes a good argument why goals do not help with continuous improvement but systems do. The standout idea so far is the way in which we think of habits: “Changing our habits is challenging for two reasons: (1) we try to change the wrong thing and (2) we try to change our habits in the wrong way.”

When changing our habits we can look at outcomes, processes or identity. “Outcomes are about what you get. Processes are about what you do. Identity is about what you believe.” The most effective way is to see yourself as the kind of person you make the desired improvement or is doing the desired productivity or activity, to believe it. A great example in the book is this:

“Imagine two people resisting a cigarette. When offered a smoke, the first person says, “No thanks. I’m trying to quit.” It sounds like a reasonable response, but this person still believes they are a smoker who is trying to be something else. They are hoping their behavior will change while carrying around the same beliefs.

The second person declines by saying, “No thanks. I’m not a smoker.” It’s a small difference, but this statement signals a shift in identity. Smoking was part of their former life, not their current one. They no longer identify as someone who smokes.”

I guess it is all about mindset. Believe you are the kind of person who will achieve the goals that you want to achieve and your behaviour will reflect that belief. The results will then follow.

Awaken The Greatness In You

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Once or twice in a generation there are born people of greatness. People like Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King come into the world and make it a better place for us all. The difference between us and them is that we often are waiting for people like them to turn up and save us. This is not likely to happen. Therefore, we need to save ourselves.

Not an easy task. The problem is in thinking that such greatness is something people are born with, but history shows us that people of greatness are molded by the circumstances they are in and the decisions they make every day to respond to those circumstances.

Even though Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years he demanded respect from the Prison Officers every day. That was a decision made once and kept for 27 years. Seth Godin has written a blog post every day for many years and has now posted over 7000 blog posts because he made the decision decades ago that he will write a new blog post tomorrow. Once decided no more thought needs to go into it, because he knows what he will be sharing with the world tomorrow. This takes discipline no doubt, but it can be done, we just need to decide.

There are many in the world who go through difficult times, and I am not dismissing these difficulties, I am saying that you choose to see yourself as a victim or as someone who will take ownership of your difficulties and make them better, in whatever way you can. If we think of ourselves as victims and wait for someone else to come along and save us, this does us a disservice to our own abilities.

The future you is capable of extraordinary things, if you decide that you can and work on fulfilling that belief every single day. You are your own saviour. Your circumstances, though challenging, can mould and awaken the greatness in you, if you believe it is possible and live up to that belief every day.

There Is Nobody Like You

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Leadership, Relationships, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Others may do the same job as you, live in the same area as you or have the same life experience as you, to a degree, but they are not you. You are a unique happening. You are also an essential part of this thing called life. The world needs your unique perspective and contribution to make the world a better place.

If you think you are ordinary or even less than some level of importance then you are underestimating yourself. You can thrive given the right environment and right self belief. Sometimes we need to find the right environment first. This could be a place of work or a group of friends. It is easier to believe in ourselves if others believe in us first.

Believe In Yourself

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success

No one will give you the perfect answer as to what you should do in any situation, because they are judging it based on what they would do, and they are not you. We need to make a choice and go try it, whatever it is. If it doesn’t work and we fall on our faces, we have learned something.

The trick is to know that you will always pick yourself up and try again. A bird does not avoid landing on a tree branch because it is worried that the branch may break, if they did they would never land on a tree branch. A bird’s faith is not in the branch not breaking, it’s faith is in the ability of it’s own wings.

Possibility Blindness

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Relationships, Success

We are largely defined by the environment we live in. The opportunities we have in most western countries are very different to those in third world countries. Our opportunities, or lack of them, will have a direct impact on how we see life.

We are also shaped by the people we spend our time with. Our parents have a significant effect on how we see ourselves and what we are capable of. We learn from a young age views of how easy or difficult it is to make money, how easy or difficult relationships are, and what our self worth is to us, etc.

When we let the views and beliefs of others become ours, we become blind to the possibilities available to us. To see an opportunity we must first think that it is possible. If you are living your life small, then it is likely that you have some limiting beliefs acquired from others. If that is the case, it is time to rewrite your beliefs and become an opportunity seeker. To believe in the possibilities life has to offer. Don’t let the views and beliefs of others give you possibility blindness. Open you eyes and begin to believe that you can, it is possible, but first you must believe that it is.