Tag: Stress

Monday Blues

Happiness, Success

We often feel a sense of dread on Sundays, fearing what Monday might bring and we wish the week away, so we can enjoy the weekend, when it arrives. This push and pull that we self impose can cause us a lot of unnecessary stress. Our attitude to the working week largely comes from whether we are fulfilled by our job or not, but we are influenced by the cultural mindset that Mondays are bad and Friday evening and the weekend are good. We often think Thank God It’s Friday.

This way of looking at our working week is self defeating and can easily be avoided. As Viktor E. Frankl said in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” We have control over our attitude and the things we tell ourselves about the work we do and how we spend our time. We can look on the bright side, as they say.

I suggest picking something positive about the work you do. Something related to helping people is good, because it brings a sense of fulfilment and purpose. It also helps to have compassion for the people we work with and work for. We all suffer to less and greater degrees and to reduce someone else’s suffering is a wonderful thing to do. This may be something you focus on as part of a spiritual path or a humane philosophy, either way it will make you happier to make other happier. Everyone wins, and you will begin to look forward to Mondays, because it will provide more opportunities to help others.

Managing Your Life

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

Sometimes life seems to throw everything at you all at once, and it can be overwhelming. We all have different ways to deal with the things in our lives, some ways are more successful than others.

For me, writing everything down in a To Do list really helps, because I struggle to keep everything in my head at once. I prioritise the list in terms of importance and when it needs to be done by. 1 = Very Important, 2 = Important and 3 = Not Important. A = Do it today, B = Do it this week and C = Do it this month. Everything with an A gets done today in order of importance, everything with a B this week etc.

American President Dwight D. Eisenhower developed this matrix to manage everything he had to deal with as President.

Source: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:7_habits_decision-making_matrix.png

There are many different ways to manage the things you have to get done each day. If you have not already done so, I suggest you figure out a way that works for you, otherwise procrastination will rule your life and you may feel overwhelmed.

Just Surrender

Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Watching this YouTube video reminded me of a dark time in my life and how I got myself out of it. I don’t often talk about personal things on this blog, but I believe this may help some if you, so it’s worth sharing. I may have even shared details of this before.

I spent nine years working in a special needs school and enjoyed it for the first five or so, but we began to get children with more challenging behaviours and physical restraints became more and more necessary. I also developed Fibromyalgia during this time, so the physical restraints became challenging for me.

I began to worry about losing my job, which was our main source of income and I was working with young people who had already given me concussion. I began getting anxiety pain in my chest and feeling stuck in a difficult situation.

One day walking home from the bus stop at the end of a day in the special needs school, I had had enough and I looked up at the sky and said in my head, “universe, I surrender to you. I will take your signs and follow them out of this situation.” I cried and felt relieved.

I found another job which had an annual salary £3000 less than I was on, but I followed my gut and changed jobs. Two months in to my new job the company increased the salary to about what I was on in my previous job. A union had been working with the company for two years to get the salary increased and I arrived when it did.

The point I am making is that sometimes you need to surrender to the universe or God or whatever your beliefs call the oneness that we are all in and look for the opportunities it/he/she provides. It can have a profound effect on your life and wellbeing. Your journey will doubtless be different from mine, but shared experience is often shared wisdom.

Reducing Stress

Happiness, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Stress is caused by two things going on at the same time. Either we have to do something but we don’t want to, because we want to do something else, or we want to do something but we feel that we are not able to.

If there is a profession where everyone has burnout, due to stress, then I would avoid working in that profession, but if some can do it with joy and with stamina, then they are doing what they want to do and they feel they are capable of doing it.

I previously working in a special needs school for around nine years. After the first five years the children coming into the school had more challenging behaviours and physical restraints were needed more and more to keep everyone safe. I found this particularly stressful, as I was developing Fibromyalgia at the same time, so I found the physical side more difficult. I developed severe anxiety and needed to find another job.

Some of the colleagues I worked with took the job in their stride and had been doing it for over twenty years. They enjoyed the job and got a lot of fulfilment from it. It is not that the job was a bad job, it was that it was not right for me. I now work as a Complaint Handler for a bank and really enjoy it. I get to take situations where something has gone wrong and problem solve a solution that also rebuilds the relationship with the customer. Others would find my current job stressful.

My Purpose is to help others live well, which I do with this blog, but I also use it as a goal in my job. If you figure out your Purpose, then you can find a job that aligns with it and connects with your capabilities, and your level of stress will go down. However, finding a job that suits you, and you enjoy, can also help you find your Purpose.

Stress In The Workplace

Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

There are many jobs which are naturally stressful, like being a Fireman/woman or a Police Officer. There are, however, many jobs which are not inherently stressful, but the working environment makes them so. This is the main cause of stress in the workplace, I would say.

If colleagues are pitted against each other in compitition to earn bonuses, a cut throat, winner take all culture will develop. If colleagues are encouraged to collaborate and find fair outcomes for customers, then a supportive and uplifting culture will develop.

Another consideration is whether things like the values and operating rhythm of the workplace match your own. In other words, are you a good fit for your workplace and your role. Figuring out your own values and how you work best is a great place to start.

Sometimes though, the problem is the view you have of the work you do. I work in complaints and I could say that I speak to angry and rude people all day long, but I don’t. In fact, I speak to people who have problems, often caused by the company I work for, and it is my job to fix the problems and rebuild the relationships between the customers and the company. In other words, see them as human beings first and take responsibility for fixing their issues.

The views we have can blind us to the opportunities that problems provide.