Tag: Success

This Is Your Craft

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Relationships, Success

The work that people do when they are working at a successful level is often described as a craft. A craft is an activity with specialist skills that need to be perfected to be good at that thing. It is the element of perfecting these skills that causes the work of successful people to be described as a craft.

I have come to realise that whatever a person’s craft is, there is another craft that sits behind it and is the same for everyone. This singular craft is the craft of thriving. It involves the thinking of the mind, the actions of the body, and the cultivating of chi. If you do not have the right mental health, physical health, and chi health, you don’t have any health at all. And without good health, you can not be successful.

So, the craft behind your craft is to make sure that you thrive. This begins with your mind. The thoughts you have and the beliefs you hold, both conscious and unconscious, control most of how your day goes. If you are not in a good place mentally, most things will not go well. You won’t be happy and you won’t be successful. When your mind is in a good place, you can make sure that your body is healthy and your chi is balanced, strong, and flowing. Then, with this foundation, you can work on your craft and be successful.

When you thrive, you can better succeed and serve others. When you serve others, they can better thrive, and so can you. To thrive and help others to thrive is the foundation of a good life.

Thrive to Serve, Serve to Thrive

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Relationships, Success

When being asked what the meaning of life is, I have a tendency to say 42 with my tongue firmly in my cheek. However, it is something I think about quite a lot, and currently, I have settled on the meaning of life to be to thrive and help others to thrive.

I could go into the many reasons for this, including the evolution of our socially focused species and the effects of feel good hormones when we do good for others, but essential if we thrive we are more able to help others, to serve them. Also, if we focus on serving others, our own well-being is improved, helping us to thrive. And on it goes.

I do not mean to be someone else’s servant, I mean to have the mindset to help others, to serve what they need to be happy and successful. Conversely, we also need to be open to allowing others to help us. Allowing this is a gift to the person helping us because it allows them to reap the rewards that come from helping other people.

This cycle goes on and on and can spread through the world, causing us all to thrive together. So, if we work on thriving in mind, body, and chi, we can serve others when they need us to, and in serving others, we thrive even more.

The Five Laws Of Stratospheric Success

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

These laws come from a great little book called The Go-Giver. The book weaves a narrative of a man trying to end the third quarter of the business year with improved sales. In desperation he reaches out to someone to help him and they teach him these five laws. They are laws that can have a profound impact on your life if you were to take them to heart and live them out.

In the coming days I will be exploring each of these laws as I start the year releasing a new blog post each day. These are the laws.

  • THE LAW OF VALUE
  • THE LAW OF COMPENSATION
  • THE LAW OF INFLUENCE
  • THE LAW OF AUTHENTICITY
  • THE LAW OF RECEPTIVITY

Many of us set new goals when a new year begins. We set new year resolutions that we often break by the end of January. It almost seems to be expected that we will fail. That is usually because we set a goal but do not change our habits very much. These laws, if taken to heart and followed, will bring about new and different habits. They will unlock a new way of seeing yourself that could bring about ‘stratospheric success’. Let’s own 2024 and make it a successful year.

Give Yourself Permission

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

For a long time I have struggled with achieving the same levels of success as my peers. I have questioned whether there is something wrong with me or if everyone else is just better than me and then I had a revelation. I had this revelation a few weeks ago, but it felt like just a theory and, consequently, I did not apply it to my life straight away. The revelation was that I can give myself permission to thrive.

This might sound silly or somewhat obvious, but I have grown up with others doing things for me a lot of the time. My parents took such good care of me I barely had to struggle or strive for anything. I benefited from the privilege of being white and middle class too. All this meant that when I hit the real world I subconsciously expected things to carry on as easily as they have always done, but they didn’t. Consequently, I felt average and mediocre.

What I needed to do was give myself permission to take ownership of my life, my health and my work. When I have been in leadership positions I have worked well in these roles and been a decent servant leader, but when I thought about describing myself in this way it felt disingenuous. The core of my realisation is that when others asked me to step into these roles I thrived and rather than waiting for others to give me permission, I can simply give myself permission.

This became empowering, where before I felt rather disempowered. Weirdly, for the first time I felt like I could take ownership of my life, fully and wholeheartedly, and you can too. Give yourself permission; own your life and you can thrive.

Program Yourself To Thrive

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I was in a taxi on the way to work the other day and while we were stopped at the traffic lights I saw a little blue flower growing out of a crack in the tarmac path. It had no business being there but there it was anyway doing its best to survive and thrive. It got me thinking about the way nature strives to live and grow all of the time, as if it is programmed to thrive anywhere it finds itself.

Often we talk about needing the right resources or the right conditions before trying something new. We overthink new ventures and often talk ourselves out of them. If we were to take examples from nature and aim to thrive no matter the conditions, then we would do well in life. We would take every opportunity with both hands and just get on with it.

Thriving is not about the conditions we have but the mindset that we have. To be excited about a new challenge and to have the courage to give it a go and see what happens, while also applying our skills and common sense to bend our path towards success. We can program ourselves to thrive by the thoughts we have and how we explain both and bad situations to ourselves.

Be like the little blue flower.

Overcoming Inner Battles

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

I’ve been listening to the audiobook of The War of Art by Steven Pressfield on YouTube this week and it cuts deep into all the excuses and rationalisations that we come up with to avoid doing the new ventures or starting anything that will likely be good for us, but would also require change. It brings you face to face with what he calls the Resistance. This is the force that talks you out of beginning anything new. It is the writer’s block and the procrastination monster.

To do battle with the Resistance and do that which our brains try to talk us out of is a courageous act. To fight back and do the thing you are scared to do is to live a life of bravery. It reminds me of a quote from Teddy Roosevelt often quoted by Brene Brown and this is how I want to try and live my life.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

Self Development: Weekly Check-ins

Achieving Goals, Health, Success

It is around this time of year that we start to think about making New Years resolutions that we often don’t keep up. We have good intentions of making life changes, but a lack of consistency let’s us down. I have started something that is keeping my improvement at work consultant. It’s is taken from the Agile project management framework called Scrum.

When working on a project you would have a period of work called a Sprint, usually a week or two, and at the end you would have a Retrospective where you discuss what went well and what you didn’t get done. I’ve been setting specific goals to improve how I work and then doing weekly Retrospectives and asking myself; What went well? What could have gone better? What are the goals for the next week?

The goals are usually linked to what could have gone better with new knowledge from what went well and they morph each week as a modify my actions until something works and then I stick to it. It is a simple exercise that takes ten minutes at the end of the week and five minutes to review as a reminder at the start of the next week. Try it and let me know in the comments how it goes.

How To Be More Successful

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success

In an interview I recently watched with Jay Shetty he gave some good advice on what to focus on when it comes to strengths and weaknesses.

A lot of advice generally says you should focus on your weaknesses, which is half right and half wrong, according to Jay Shetty. We should focus on both our strengths and our weaknesses, but the key is knowing which types of each to focus on.

The research shows that successful people focus on their strengths, as long as they are hard skills, things that are measurable. These are the bread and butter of success.

However, they are complimented by soft skills, things like social skills, working well with others, etc. Without these skills the hard skills won’t get you very far. So, working on any weaknesses with your soft skills too will ensure you achieve more success, because we cannot achieve success alone.

Making A Better Tomorrow

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Relationships, Success

Life is a series of moments. Some are good and some are bad. This is pretty obvious. However, we often don’t think in this way about the time we spend and the experiences we have. Sometimes we think a bad situation is permanent and will always be like that. Sometimes we think a good situation will not last.

It is true that all thing shall pass. That is to say that everything is temporary and part of a process. When a bad thing happens we can’t wish it away or try to change what happened. What we do have power over, however, is what we choose to do about the situation we are in.

If we see where we are and what is happening as a process we can plan and set goals and work towards a better situation. If you don’t like you job or your relationship or your home life change it. Either work on making it better or make a change. A new job might be better than staying where you are. An honest conversation with your manager might improve your working environment. There are always things you can do to make this moment a step towards and better tomorrow.

Living A Fulfilling Life

The Pathway To Fulfilment

I am discovering through becoming more independent and confident in my job as a Complaint Handler that my health, happiness and success are all in my hands. This is to say that only I can achieve these things for myself, through good daily habits and believing in my own capabilities. Obvious I know, but not always easy to believe.

It begins with wisdom and self mastery, which leads into health and relationships, and ultimately purpose. These are all aspects of a life well lived, a life that in and of itself is a pathway that leads towards fulfilment. When we live well fulfilment is a natural state of being.

How To Generate Wellness

Happiness, Health, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Life comes down to accumulation and balance. What we eat, drink and breathe over time becomes our bodies. The good and the bad is taken in and assimilated. The accumulation of what our body takes in every day bends towards good health or illness. The thoughts we have and the things we allow our minds to be exposed to every day will bend towards good mental and emotional health or mental illness.

Our daily habits also have an a cumulative affect. If we practice Chi Kung (Qigong), Tai Chi or Yoga every day our energy levels and energy quality will be good. If we meditate every day our mind will be calmer and more focused. If we focus on our professional success and make small improvements on a daily basis, we will succeed exponentially. It has been said that if we study a subject for one hour a day we can become a world expert in five years.

All of these things need to be balanced too. If we focus too much on our mind we will neglect our body, and vice versa. We need a synergy between mind and body where each influences the other positively. Accumulation and balance, when well managed, will generate wellness.

How To Be Successful

The Pathway To Fulfilment

We hear a lot about motivation and striving for success, but often we chase the wrong goals because they look good on someone else. So we either gain success and feel empty or we fail because we can’t get motivated.

We get excited and get more done when we are enjoying something or it aligns with what we care about. It is hard to get motivated about something that we don’t care about, but very easy to get a lot done with very little motivation when we are passionate about the thing we are doing.

Success comes when we figure out what we care about, what we are passionate about, and we put our energy into succeeding in that area. We don’t need better motivation, we need clearer values and beliefs, because these will highlight the things we care about. Then we can be successful and feel fulfilled by the success.

It Shouldn’t Be Like That

Happiness, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

Quite often people say that this should not happen or this should happen. People ‘should’ all over themselves, which is to say that they project their ‘shoulds’ out into the world. The problem with this way of thinking is that it creates a kind of helplessness, because if it should be a certain way, but it isn’t, we often then have nothing that we can do about it.

It is better to see things as they are, not as you think they should be. Then decide what action you wish to take. It might be that there is a need for something to be improved and you are the person to do it. This means that you are focusing on what you can do.

Believe In Yourself

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success

No one will give you the perfect answer as to what you should do in any situation, because they are judging it based on what they would do, and they are not you. We need to make a choice and go try it, whatever it is. If it doesn’t work and we fall on our faces, we have learned something.

The trick is to know that you will always pick yourself up and try again. A bird does not avoid landing on a tree branch because it is worried that the branch may break, if they did they would never land on a tree branch. A bird’s faith is not in the branch not breaking, it’s faith is in the ability of it’s own wings.

Reaching Your Potential

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

As human beings we often think that knowledge is one of the most important factors in life. Much is thought of degrees, the school we went to and being a knowledgeable person. However, every piece of knowledge is a conclusion that we decide is fixed.

This creates a mentality of I am right and others are wrong. It also limits our human potential, because each conclusion becomes a dead end. This leads to stagnation in life. If we were to think of pieces of knowledge as an impermanent understanding then we are always open to learning new things and to the knowledge of others, which might prove us wrong.

In order to reach other full potential we must be open to new experiences and new knowledge. Growth leads to fulfilment.

Don’t Always Set Goals

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

In life we need to set goals, progress is an essential aspect of living a fulfilling life. If we had no progress we would feel a sense of stagnation and a lack of motivation. Goals are important, but sometimes they are a reflection of who we think we should be. There are goals that we think we need to achieve in order to be a success, after which we will be happy.

Success does not automatically equal happiness. If the success is in something that does not align with our fundamental values, for example, then it can never really be happiness inducing. What we need to understand is what happiness and success look like for us, based on our values, beliefs and ethics.

Sometimes we also set goals in order to feel like we are working towards success, but in fact we are avoiding figuring out what we really want. Doing the work of figure out who we are and what we want out of life can seem too difficult, so we take someone else’s model of success, or the model that is currently seen as popular, and tell ourselves it is what we want. In a way it is a form of procrastination.

So, set goals, but do the hard work of figuring out what you really want out of life first.

Don’t Focus On Your Strengths

Achieving Goals, Success

We hear a lot of motivational speakers talk about focusing on your strengths, whether it be your top 5 or your best strength. However, anyone who has become successful at anything had to develop and become good at what they currently do.

Strengths are certainly useful, but they do not provide long term success, because there is no long turm objective, other than to become better at what you are already good at. It is smarter to have a vision or purpose for your life, a reason why you get up in the morning, and centre your development around that.

It could be to help people to read or to make a difference in people’s lives or to run your own company or many other things. Your strengths will often help with these things, but only if they align with your vision, purpose or reason. It is more likely that you will need to develop in areas that you are not strong in currently and with work these then become your strengths. The goal is to live your best life, which will require developing in areas that are not your current strengths.

Love What You Do

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success, The Pathway To Fulfilment

We hear the motivational mantra “Do what you love” a lot in the motivational coaching sphere, and in society generally, but I think it is bad advice if the suggestion is to have the thing you love as your source of income. The thing you love may not be something that you can be paid to do, or at least difficult to get paid for.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t do what you love, but assuming everyone can is misleading. By all means do what you love, but make sure your rent and bills are paid. You will find it even harder to be a success if you end up homeless.

When you are wanting to be successful it is more effective to love what you do. Some people sell coffee in a coffee shop, others create meaningful experiences for customer that lift their day and make them feel good, while selling them coffee. Some manage a team, others lead a team in such a way that every member of the team contributes and works towards a shared vision.

You get my point. Sometimes it is better to love what you do, but also do what you love when you can. We all want different things and have different life experiences and constraints. Don’t feel that you have to do what you love because society says so, do what is best for you.

Do Something

Happiness, Success

Often we wait for the right idea, the right job or the right partner before we trying something new. This waiting is a form of hiding, hiding from trying that new thing, because we fear failure or we fear making the wrong choice and wasting our lives.

If we don’t choose something we are wasting our lives. The regrets most elderly people have is the things they did not try. You have time to try and fail and try again. You will also either succeed or learn and then succeed. Failure is essential to success, because we can learn from it.

My advice is this, figure out what your values are, what your beliefs are and what your ethics are. Then go find a project to start, a challenge to take on, a problem to solve or a role to try that aligns with these and see what happens. If it aligns with your values, beliefs and ethics then you will thrive, you will feel empowered and you will feel fulfilled by the work you do.

But you must choose something and start.

Self Made Possibilities

Achieving Goals, Success

I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook and a picture of a purple flower growing out of a brick wall appeared and it struck a chord with me. It reminded me that many people have been successful when they started off with nothing and no one on their side. Also, there have been many who had everything and did nothing with it.

The possibilities we have in life are sometimes given to us through the things we are born with or born into, but much of what is required for success to happen is self made. The possibilities for success have to be seen and then the work done to make them a reality.

Success that is worthwhile pursuing is always self made. Success that is given to us is not really success.

Getting The Right Kind Of Status

Achieving Goals, Leadership, Success

In society there has always been a version of an Alpha male or female, or the top dog. The general consensus is that you need to be the best at what you do and take charge of whatever situation you are in. The status of being the ‘top dog’ is then earned.

The problem with this method of getting status is that no trust is built up and no feeling of fellowship. In other words people just get out of the way, rather than forming genuine relationships. This is a problem when tough times require friends or colleagues to support each other.

In business, if the culture encourages internal compitition in order to bring in more money for the company, then tough times will mean the company crumbles. If the culture encourages teamwork where colleagues take care of each other and the company takes care of colleagues, then colleagues will rise to save their company in tough times.

A culture of working together can also be found in friendships, and any other human relationships, and within these cultures the person who always gives help and support, or goes above and beyond for others, will get the high status. They will be trusted, respected and followed, in the case of leadership. This, in my opinion, is the right kind of status to work for.

Make A Change

Achieving Goals, Success

Often we feel like we are stuck in a rut or caught in a loop and we just want to be free of it. We want life to improve, so we don’t get the same results that we always get.

The problem is that the results we get in life are largely a result of our actions or lack of action. Repeated results are often caused by repeated behaviours. In fact, it is our beliefs that spark our thoughts, which lead to our behaviours, which in turn produce our results.

As I have said before, the change needs to be in the beliefs we have about what we can do, what our options are and what is possible.

Make a change in your beliefs and you will get different results in life.

Appreciate Where You Are

Happiness, Success

They say that every season has its purpose. In nature, Autumn bring the falling of leaves which nourish the soil, that then feeds the tree from which the leaves fell. Summer provides lots of sunlight to help plant life to flourish, which helps all life to flourish.

You might feel like you are in a difficult situation that might be likened to the harshness of Winter, but difficulty can help us to develop resilience. If it was like the Summer all of the time then we may not appreciate what we have. Every year Winter shows us what the absence of Summer is like and we appreciate it all the more when it comes around again.

In life we have challenges and we have moments in the Sun. Each has its purpose and we can use them to our advantage, if our mindset is a growth mindset and we look for the opportunities rather than the difficulties.

Read It Yourself

Happiness, Success

In the 16th Century the Bible started to be translated into European languages from Latin. Previously, Catholic clergy were predominantly the ones who understood Latin and they told their loyal followers what the Bible said. They told their followers what the teachings of the Catholic Church were too.

Once the Bible was available to be read in the common people’s own language, people began to disagree with some of the teachings of the Church. The Reformation began, the understanding of God, Jesus and the Church was reformed into many different viewpoints.

Some say that this is for the better and some for the worse. It is not a debate I intend to start here, and this is not a comment on the teachings of the Catholic Church. My point is that, much like the teachings of the Church at the time, our culture has us believing a number of things that we take for granted; we receive signposts on how to live in a similar way, we are told them. We are told how to be happy, the value of money and what success looks like.

When you read into what actually makes you happy and successful it will likely not match the messages from our culture, because our culture is influenced by those who wish to sell us things. They have an interest in the stories we are told.

So, ask why when our culture tells us to do something. Ask what the purpose is of living how we are expected to live and you will be on the road to a more enlightened way of living, and you will be happier and more successful.

Who Should We Listen To

Happiness, Success

When we only listen to the news or social media or friends that agree with us then we are in what is referred to as an echo chambers. However, echo chambers can be used to our benefit, but it depends on who we listen to and this depends on what kind of life we want.

If we listen to the religious teachings of Jesus, the Buddha or Mohammed our lives will likely be happier. If we listen to the advice from Tony Robbins, Seth Godin and Simon Sinek our lives will likely be more successful. If we know what kind of life we want and we wilfully enter the appropriate echo chamber we can tune out the cultural noise that is the opposite of what we want, then this will be help.

However, if we have right wing ideas and we listen to the ramblings of Donald Trump, then we will likely go down into an echo chamber of extremism and violence. Echo chambers have their place, as long as we also make ourselves aware of opposing views too. When we completely close off alternative view then we can become extreme and potentially an extremist.

Dare Greatly

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

I would like to begin this blog post with a quote from the American president Theodore Roosevelt.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I became aware of this quote when watching a talk by Brené Brown. Prior to the recent talk I watched, she did a TED Talk called The Power of Vulnerability, which I recommend you watch. The TED Talk went viral and inevitably the trolls of the internet began commenting with personal attacks rather than listening to the very wise content of the talk. Brené Brown stumbled on to this quote after reading the horrible comments about her.

Since then she has decided that if you are not in the arena getting your arse handed to you, if you are not putting your work out there, then she is not interested in your feedback. What I would like to advocate for you is that you do two things. Firstly, have the courage to dare greatly and secondly, to ignore feedback from those who are not daring greatly themselves.

The Dangers of Seeking Reassurance

Achieving Goals, Happiness, Success

I have been think lately about why we seek reassurance before we step into doing new things or things that have creative risk and something happened to me this week which illustrates my thoughts on this. I work in a contact centre in a business park and walk for 15 minutes to catch the bus home. Now there are two buses with the same number which stop at my bus stop, one of the buses ends part way along the route and the other goes to where I live.

One bus came by so I waved it down to check if it was my bus, but it was the other bus that I needed, which promptly arrived and overtook the bus I had waved down and drove on by. While sitting at the bus stop waiting 40 minutes for the right bus to come by again I was thinking about why we seek reassurance and I realised that what I had done is outsource responsibility for knowing which was the right bus to the bus driver of the wrong bus.

If I’d have taken ownership of finding out which was the right bus, I could have checked the details on the bus stop timetable and compared them to the details on the front of the bus and could have been at home eating my dinner at the time the next correct bus arrived at the bus stop.

This to me illustrates the consequences we pay for seeking unnecessary reassurance that the thing we want to do is the right thing to do. Not taking responsibility for things in our lives, because we are worried about failing or choosing the wrong path is always the wrong path. We miss opportunities and we are left waiting for others to help us, or save us in some cases. No one is coming to save you, you have to save yourself and those around you will support you on this journey.

No one will give you the perfect answer as to what you should do either, because they are judging it based on what they would do, and they are not you. We need to make a choice and go try it, whatever it is. If it doesn’t work and we fall on our faces, we have learned something. The trick is to know that you will always pick yourself up and try again. A bird does not avoid landing on a tree branch because it is worried that the branch may break, if they did they would never land on a tree branch. A bird’s faith is not in the branch not breaking, it’s faith is in the ability of it’s own wings.

Building Self Credibility

Quick Thoughts

Often, without meaning to, we make promises and break them, both to others and to ourselves. It could be that we say we will start going to the gym or that we say we will do a friend a favour, but then don’t.

When we break promises, no matter how small, we lose credibility with ourselves. We start to believe that we are unreliable and slowly our actions follow our thinking and we do.

If, however, we decide to go to the gym and we do it or we decide to get up when the alarm goes off, instead of hitting snooze, and we do it or we do the friend a favour when we say we will, then we will build credibility with ourselves and people will see that we mean what we say, that we are reliable and trustworthy. It is a matter of integrity, because integrity is a verb.

Building A Better World

Happiness

“Follow your dreams and use your natural-born talents and skills to make this a better world for tomorrow.”

– Paul Watson

This Summer saw the long awaited 2020 Tokyo Olympics, which was an unusual state of affairs, without the spectators. However, it gave a chance for the people of each country to see their Olympic champions battle it out for the highly held Olympic medals. After the way the 2020 Euros lifted the spirits of the nation, there was a hope that the Olympics could keep the national excitement going. In the end more people watched the Tokyo Olympics than did the Rio 2016 Olympics. Records were broken and Britain came a respectable forth in the medals table, which is all pretty positive. Positivity is in great need after the past 18 months and the uncertainty of coming out of the imposed social distancing guidelines, which has left us all feeling a little unsure how to interact with each other in the new normal.

The Olympics have long been held up as the bastion of sportsmanship, of unity in diversity and of excellence. Curious to see the principles behind the organising of the Olympics, I looked up the Vision of the International Olympic Committee, which is “Building A Better World Through Sport.” A worthy vision, and one which is shown in their Values of Excellence, Respect and Friendship. And this got me thinking about how we can make the world a better place after the COVID-19 pandemic put a pause on much of society’s habitual behaviours. During the pandemic the kindness of strangers and the capacity to care flourished amongst neighbours and strangers alike. The concept of Key Workers redefined for many of us who plays an important role in our society and who does not. There was initially talk about going back to normal after the pandemic, or rather a new normal, and it is this idea of a new normal that I want to focus on today.

If we can better choose how we can interact with each other, how we can live together and how we can connect with each other, then this seems like a good time to do it. We can take up the cause of the Olympics of ‘building a better world,’ but not just through sport, but through how we see each other and how we interact with each other. This thing called life is a shared journey from cradle to the grave, but we are capable of lifting each other up, so we may all live better lives.

To illustrate what I am talking about I would like to share a story I saw online recently about a Police Officer in America who pulled a young man over, as his driving licence had expired. The young man explained that he barely had enough money to pay the bills and his rent and could not afford to renew his licence, due to losing his job. He was also on his way to a job interview, in the hope to gain an income and eventually get his licence renewed. The Police Officer left his own car and drove the young man to the job interview and apologised to the Interviewers as he was the reason the young man was late for the interview. The young man got the job and was able to renew his licence in order to legally drive again. Sometimes kindness matters more than the letter of the law. It also matters more than the prejudices and stereotypes that we all have which prevent us from seeing others as equal to ourselves and therefore worthy of kindness.

It is also important to remember how connected we all are. The COVID-19 pandemic showed how our movement around the world can cause diseases to spread, but we can also share our behaviours, our ideas and our values. Kindness and generosity are also infectious. Mother Nature has provided a way to encourage us to be kind and generous. This is how we thrived as a species, by working together. If we are to be generous or kind to someone else without any expectation in return we get a hit of Oxytocin, which makes us feel good. The person we are generous or kind to gets a hit of Oxytocin as well, which means they will likely go and be generous or kind to someone else that day. Even a person just witnessing an act of generosity or kindness will give them a hit a Oxytocin and will encourage them to pay the generosity or kindness forward. We are hard wired to do this, because we are stronger together.

To further show how connected we all are on our planet, here is something from a TV series on Netflix called Connected that blew my mind. It is in the episode on Dust and how important certain dust can be. In Chad, North Africa, in what used to be Lake Mega-Chad, but is now part of the Sahara Desert, there are the remains of fish and other creatures, which once lived in the lake, before the area became a desert. The wind breaks up the skeletons into dust which is then carried by the wind up into the atmosphere and it makes its way all the way to the Amazon Rainforest, in South America, where the dust becomes part of the soil. What is amazing is that the rain in the rainforest washes away most of the nutrients that the plant life needs to grow and survive, but the dust all the way from the Sahara Desert in Chad, North Africa, replenishes it. Around 22,000 tons of phosphorus is deposited in the Amazon Rainforest every year from Lake Mega-Chad, which is about the amount the soil loses every year due to rainfall. Without this process happening, there would be no rainforest. We are truly, globally connected to every other ecosystem on the planet. This is why when we through things away, there is no away. We need to look after our planet as well as each other.

The environmental movement, which includes Greenpeace, sprung to life after a very special photograph was taken when “Apollo 8, the first manned mission to the moon, entered lunar orbit on Christmas Eve, Dec. 24, 1968. That evening, the astronauts-Commander Frank Borman, Command Module Pilot Jim Lovell, and Lunar Module Pilot William Anders-held a live broadcast from lunar orbit, in which they showed pictures of the Earth and moon as seen from their spacecraft. Said Lovell, “The vast loneliness is awe-inspiring and it makes you realize just what you have back there on Earth.” They ended the broadcast with the crew taking turns reading from the book of Genesis.”(1) As they orbited back around the moon toward the Earth the photo Earth Rise was taken as the view of the Earth in the distant blackness of space rose into view over the surface of the moon, which is seen in the foreground of the photo. The sense that if we do not take care of our planet their is no planet B reverberated through the cultures of the West and the rest of the world.

We have now reached a point where taking a trip up to where the Earth’s atmosphere meets outer space is becoming a reality for those who can pay for it. There has been much debate online about the recent endeavours of Billionaires like Sir Richard Branson to develop “rocket planes” that can take people up the edge of space. Sir Richard Branson was the first to have “…successfully reached the edge of space on board his Virgin Galactic rocket plane”(2) recently. The main argument against such endeavours has been why build a rocket plane to take people to the edge of space on tourist trips when there are millions who are homeless, starving and displaced due to war. There are also issues with global warming. It is an argument over priorities and values, over selfishness and selflessness. Tickets to take the Virgin Galactic up to the edge of space cost up to £180,000, again money that could be spent helping our fellow human beings. I guess the main ill feeling comes from the disproportionate distribution of wealth and the fact that there are billionaires in the world where much good can be done if this wealth was shared. If a tenth of the wealth held by the Billionaires of the world was spent on helping those in need, the quality of life for many would be improved. Access to water, electricity and education, for example.

But we are not all Billionaires, far from it. Most of us have enough to survive and a little bit more to save or spend on nice things. This begs the question what can we do to make the world better? If we are to go back to the Vision of the International Olympic Committee, “Building A Better World Through Sport,” we can think about what Vision we might have for our lives. If your Vision began with “Building A Better World Through…” what would come next for you? I would suggest you build a better world through kindness. Kindness to the environment and kindness to the people we interact with each day.

However, it is not always easy to be kind, especially if we are asked to be kind to those we really do not like. In the Bible Jesus asked us to Love our Enemies? You might not think in terms of ‘enemies,’ but you will have people you would rather avoid, people you dislike. How do we build the capacity to be kind to those people? A good place to start is to work on the prejudices and stereotypes we all have, on the barriers we have that create an us and a them, so we can start seeing each other as human first, and then we can increase our generosity and kindness on a daily basis. The more people we are generous and kind to the more people will do the same for others. And you will feel so good at the end of the day.

Reference:

1: https://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/imagegallery/image_feature_1249.html

2: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-57797297

Developing The Pathway To Fulfilment

The Pathway To Fulfilment

My intention is to create a process by which you can start to live well. To me living well means to live in a way that brings about happiness and success, which in turn brings about fulfilment in our lives. This is not a life hack or magical cure for what ails you. It is a deeply personal journey of self-discovery, of life balancing and of purpose finding. This is an evolving process, until I feel a clear and actionable ‘Pathway’ is created, so it can be shared and used effectively.

I have reflected on the first two steps to the existing Pathway and have moved Acquired Wisdom to Step 1, as I feel that wisdom gives us a strong foundation from which to build. I have replaced Self Knowledge with Self Mastery and moved it to Step 2, as self knowledge is a useful mental exercise, whereas self mastery is an actionable way of being, which is built on both wisdom and self knowledge. This, I feel, is a more effective part of the journey, as self mastery is required in order to have a life well lived. The six steps  are now Acquired Wisdom, Self Mastery, Good Health, Healthy Relationships, Defining Your Purpose and Living Your Purpose.

The six steps of the Pathway To Fulfilment are divided into Where To Begin, What To Maintain and How To Live Well. Now that I have an outline of a process that I believe will bring about fulfilment in ones life, I aim to add in the detail of the activities and actions you will follow within each step of the journey towards fulfilment and a life well lived. Watch this space and the Facebook Group Community for up and coming updates.

WHERE TO BEGIN

Step 1: Acquired Wisdom

We acquire the wisdom of others from a variety of sources, spiritual and secular. Wisdom challenges us and enlightens us. Often this is achieved by extensive reading, but, with the internet, a lot of this same wisdom can also be obtained through videos, audio books and pod-casts, however you learn best. This wisdom will feed into what you already know about yourself, it will influence how you see yourself and how you choose to live; helping towards self mastery.

There is a lot of wisdom out there to acquire, and it can sometimes be hard to distinguish wisdom from well sounding ignorance, so to simplify things for you I have broken down the wisdom I have found into ten Principles Of A Life Well Lived that will help you navigate the world skilfully. They are what I consider to be the essential wisdom to acquire. I will delve into each principle and explore how it will enhance your life. I have divided the principles into those that relate to Self and those that relate to Others. The principles related to Self are Growth, Equanimity, Fortitude, Seeking and Self Competition, and those related to Others are Stewardship, Servant-hood, Reciprocity, Joy Making and Connection. I will be sharing more detail on these moving forward.

Step 2: Self Mastery

The process of self mastery begins with getting to know yourself more substantially than you may have before; figuring out what really makes you tick, what you believe and don’t believe, what you think is true and false, what you think is ethical and not ethical, etc. It includes figuring out your beliefs and your ethics. Also, what happiness and success look like to you, personally, because our happiness and success are relative to our values, which are very personal to each of us. Our happiness and our success will not bring about fulfilment if they are not aligned with our values.  Self mastery begins with broad and deep self-knowledge and then in order to gain and maintain mastery of yourself you will need to cultivate both body and mind, the tools for which will come from the ten Principles Of A Life Well Lived.

This will primarily be mastery of your thoughts, which is the same whether you are embarking on self-development or a journey of faith. Our mind and body are in a sort of synergy, which means our thoughts effect the chemistry our brains create in our bodies, which in turn creates sickness or wellness. Wellness, being the optimal state to be in. Also, that if we fine tune our body through exercise, through practices such as Yoga, and if we cultivate strong Qi (Chi) in our energy system, through practices like Tai Chi and Qigong, our physical well-being will flourish and allow our mental mastery and well-being to develop too. Self Mastery is both physical and mental, which leads me to Step 3: Good Health.

WHAT TO MAINTAIN

Step 3: Good Health

Your health should be of great concern, because good health is essential for your well-being and having an active, fulfilling life. I have included the usual physical health and mental and emotional health, and I have also included energy health; all of which could be thought of as a triad of good health. Good physical health includes diet and exercise. Good mental and emotional health includes mastering your emotions and balancing your thoughts. Good energy health includes mastering the Qi (Chi) that flows through your energy system, like blood through your bloodstream, as detailed in Traditional Chinese Medicine. To have good health you need to work on all three of these areas.

Step 4: Healthy Relationships

In this step you look at your relationships, and identify those relationships that are good for you and those that are not, and those that are a mixture of the two, that need work to become good. You should continuously work towards all of your relationships being healthy ones; meaning that they bring you happiness rather than stress, they uplift you rather than bring you down, and they are aligned with your values and ethics. These relationships are in circles of community, which are relationships with your self, your partner, your family, your friends, your colleagues and your acquaintances, and they are all interconnected.

HOW TO LIVE WELL

Step 5: Defining Your Purpose

After working your way through this journey so far, you will have a solid foundation for how to start living your life better. From this new understanding of yourself, your defined beliefs and ethics form part of what I call your Purpose Prism, the third piece of this prism being your purpose. You will go through a process of building on your beliefs and your ethics, weaving in Acquired Wisdom and Principles Of A Life Well Lived, and all you have learned from steps 2, 3 and 4 and define your personal purpose. This prism is the filter through which you will see and experience the world, and it will influence your thoughts, speech and actions, making them wiser in nature. Your purpose comes from a vision of a better world that you want to help create.

Step 6: Living Your Purpose

You will then be set to start applying your beliefs, ethics and purpose to your life, to find your best way to live them out in your thoughts, speech and actions; to act on your vision of a better world through everything that you do. This is living your life on purpose. All of this work will mean that both happiness and success become personal, and therefore fulfilling, all three of which are bi-products of a life well lived. When the garden of our lives is tended to properly, these things blossom, but if we focus on achieving them without tending to the important things in our lives then these things will not blossom. Your happiness, success and fulfilment along your journey then feed back into your acquired wisdom, self mastery, health, relationships and your beliefs, ethics and purpose, and on it goes, because this journey is a life long endeavour. Follow the Path To Fulfilment and live well my friends.